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The Bees Knees
In the early 70's, we lived in a home on several acres where we enjoyed life with our customary variety of farm and domestic animals....We always made it a point to ensure our two Sons, Danny and Paul jr. were exposed to animals, to enjoy, as we believe it builds a special loving character in children that carries on into their adulthood. Our 'critter' family consisted of rabbits, chickens, dogs, cats, baby lambs which the boys bottle fed, a horse and a beautiful jersey cow named Sally......we had a few fruit trees and had a close neighbor who enjoyed a large orchard and garden, and among this garden he also kept bee hives. Now, my hubby Paul sr. was extremely interested in having a bee hive of his very own....One day we discovered a swarm of bees the size of a football, hanging suspended in our orange tree. Now, being sure that the different tv programs, showing how easy it is to grab the bees and simply shake them into a box or hive, Paul was about to put this theory to the test.....being the careful, loving wife I am, I convinced him to go get our neighbor, who when he came and saw the bees, told Paul it was a good thing he didn't touch them, something about the way the bees were clustered made them dangerous to the novice....whew! Glad I talked him out of that one....Our neighbor gave Paul a hive as a gift, and the neighbor deftly transferred the bees from the tree branch into the hive, making it look easy........from that day on, Paul check his bees daily....kept asking me, 'Do you think there is any honey in there yet?' Finally, after about three months had passed and he couldn't stand it any longer and had pestered me to the point I agreed to help him figure out a way to get into the hive....well I pointed out to him that he should have a proper outfit to keep from getting stung.....but of course all that fancy stuff is a cost factor....so, to keep my sanity and protect him, I agreed to help him create his very own 'honey collection outfit'....his special 'outfit' consisted of a hat, a white sheet in which he had cut two eye holes, a pair of gloves and some rubber bands to put around both wrists and ankles to keep bees from entering those areas.......He looked like a misguided youth at Halloweeen time......I was laughing so hard I could hardly manage to help him get it all on. We finally did though, and he was all set to go on this new, big adventure. I should have gotten a picture, but I was laughing so hard, watching him walk from the house toward the back field where the bee hive was. I couldn't bare to watch...I feared the worse...so I stayed in the house and went back to my chores...it wasn't long, I heard this blood curdling scream, followed by a non stop yell.......honey open the door, open the door.......racing to the back door I see this white mas running toward the door......it was obvious that he had somehow stepped on a corner of the sheet and caused it to slip and therefore he was unable to see where he was going....this zig zag white blur stumbled up the steps and into the house, bringing several bees with him. I started to laugh again, this time harder then before and my tummy hurt...I could barely ask him what happened...after he went through this arm waving and thrashing around, getting his 'special honey getting outfit' off.....and calmed down, he told me what had happened......there's honey in there hon...my bees made me some honey.....he was so excited...I said forget the honey, what happened that made you race frantically looking like a blindfolded casper.....He had pulled one of the honey ladden portions of the hive out and when the bees started following and coming near his exposed eye holes, he stepped back and in so doing stepped on the edge of the sheet..and the rest is history........other then a severly damaged pride, and a few bee sting lumps, Paul was ok...but decided to wait til he was properly outfitted before trying that adventure again...I told him...You are really the 'bees knees...smile

Submitted By: Alice Caffejian from NV on 2001-02-22

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