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Is it a man thing?
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Cindi    Posted 02-20-2004 at 19:18:37       [Reply]  [No Email]
I shoulda known something was up when I heard the crash. Fred is usually one of the most considerate people in the world when it comes to other people's sleeping time. He knows I've been sick, so I was catching up on some needed zzzz's this morning when he got up at four-thirty to get ready for work.

He also knows that when I wake up, I'm up for good, and that's the very thing he used against me this morning when he found out what Elvis had done. We all have our short comings, and Fred is no exception. There are just some situations that he simply cannot handle. He's not built for it. This was one of those situations. Which is what prompted him to throw the boot, that hit the dresser, that made the crash that woke me up.

"What was that?" I mumbled, sitting up in bed.

He knew better than to hang around. He wasn't expecting me to figure out what the noise was that woke me up. He didn't figure I would catch on. He figured I would just think I woke up on my own. So he threw the boot and then hightailed it back to the living room. I found him sitting on the couch, his fast breathing convincing me that I had put two and two together correctly.

"Good morning." I said suspiciously.

"The dog crapped in the floor." He said. Then he pointed. "Over there by the front door. Three or four places." Then he shuddered all over. "Wet...really....gross" Gag.

"You know," I said, "it must be nice to be a man and feel that you are above this kind of thing."

"Whatdya mean?" Looking all innnocent, peering at me over his coffee cup.

"I mean, I don't suppose you could have cleaned it up."

"Not my dog." A slurp from his cup for emphasis. Classic evasive maneuver.

"Elvis is nobody's dog...he's everybody's dog!"

Elvis is a good dog, but sometimes, well you know...stuff happens. He has lots of little tactics for waking someone up when nature calls and I just imagine he tried all of them. He tries me first. He sits by the bed and whines. But like I said, I was catching up on sleep.

When he can't wake me up, he goes in the living room where Jill sleeps on the couch and whines at her. When that doesn't work, he bounces around the room in a circle and if that doesn't wake her, he'll stand by the door and wag his tail, thump thump thump against the door frame. One of two things happened. Either she chose to ignore his distress call, or he simply didn't have time to go through the whole routine. Either way, the end result was the same. He got as close to outside as he could get.

I sighed and set about gathering necessary cleaning supplies.

"I think it's really pathetic that you had to wake me up for this."

"I couldn't stand the stink. As it is I almost stepped in it...I saw it at the last minute and had to jump like a deer to avoid it...I think I pulled something."

"You DID pull something with that little boot tactic. Why didn't you just tell me?"


Translation; After all these years I shouldn't have to explain to you that I am not capable of admitting that I have weaknesses, it's easier to throw a boot.

I know this about him, but I was cranky so I pressed him.

"You are a sad, sad man."

"Okay, next time I'll clean it up...and then I'll throw a boot to wake you up to clean up the vomit."


I had to laugh at him. I suddenly had flashbacks of being awakened by sudden strange crashes and finding a dirty diaper or a kid with a snotty nose waiting for me, or a...

"Jake yakked in the bathroom floor...."

....and an innocent looking husband who had no idea what that loud noise was, but it was a dam fine coincidence that I woke up just when I was needed.

This is the same man who can cut open and gut any kind of animal and not think twice about it, but put him in the same room with a puking kid and he will break down a door to escape.

I understand this about him. What I don't understand is his inability to admit this weakness unless pushed into a corner. I guess it's man thing, and as long as there are kids and dogs in the house I can look forward to being awakened by sudden loud strange noises.

Sharon    Posted 02-21-2004 at 14:09:16       [Reply]  [Send Email]
My dear husband has a similar weak stomach when it comes to our dog's accidents. He makes sure I am aware of the problem, then discretely finds somewhere else to go. I understand this, and I am willing to take care of the "messes" since he is willing to take care of a lot of other things around the house. I figure it's a trade-off, a partnership, each of us with our strengths and weaknesses - so I don't chide him about it. After cleaning the messes from raising two children, cleaning up after two dogs is not that much different. The bad part about the dogs, is that it's not usually a small mess - it's a trail! :o)

Michael M    Posted 02-21-2004 at 05:50:32       [Reply]  [No Email]
Hiya Cindi,
Well, if it is a man thing, it isn't all of us. Here thngs work exactly the opposite. I am the one that has to clean up yak and poop, she turns white and get sick herself.
Now, when it comes to cooking dinner, there might be a loud crash or two, no one here is overly fond of my cooking.

Cindi    Posted 02-21-2004 at 06:39:42       [Reply]  [No Email]
I know there are some of you out there, I just don't know any of you personally. (grin)

Fern(Mi)    Posted 02-21-2004 at 05:03:02       [Reply]  [No Email]
I wish somebody had told me this 4-1/2 decades ago. Are you meaning I've been offencively cleaning up more than my share of the dirty diapers, pet-opps, sheds, barns, poultry houses, yards; I'm appauled.
Now I have to watch my back & wind direction I don't get this broadcast all-over me should this get spread around.
I want a change: Next time Clink can reach in there and turn the calf around to get the critter born of this world.
I beleave this to be MY new found right!!!

Cindi    Posted 02-21-2004 at 05:39:59       [Reply]  [No Email]
I don't think you could pull it off after all this time. It takes a lot more energy and planning to avoid doing something than it does just to do it and I think it takes a lifetime of practice. You are a rare bird Fern.

OH CINDI,I RELATE    Posted 02-21-2004 at 00:44:38       [Reply]  [No Email]
Just the other day, Ian was gettin gup for work, I came in from running some errands, and the first thing out of his mouth was, "I think I heard the cat yakking somewhere in the bedroom while I was waking up." OKAY...

We used to have a outside cat, she hated being indoors, so she ended up being outside. She would bring us all kinds of presents, headless and all. One time she even stood a squirrel up neat as you please on the stoop, thought it was alive, such a clean kill.

Ian never cleans up anything. He will announce it, but I end up getting it. He says it will make him gag, and possibly toss his cookies. Men...

Cindi    Posted 02-21-2004 at 05:37:22       [Reply]  [No Email]
At least he'll admit it. Fred just acts like it's a woman thing...and how the heck did I not know that? He will literally leave the house and stay gone all day to avoid cleaning up a mess.

deadcarp    Posted 02-20-2004 at 21:59:04       [Reply]  [No Email]
i have all the requirements - country raised, war, fished, hunted, lotsa gore in there. but if a little guy has dirty diapers, weeeeellllllll ---
i don't mind scooping barf or hairballs into dustpans, that kinda thing. but for me it's easier to potty train one. he'll sit there best he can, i'll wait all day and entertain him, yup.

but one day my grandson was getting changed and wasn't quite done so his pa just caught the new droppings in his hand and flushed them, nuthin to it! gotta admire someody who can do that. :)

Cindi    Posted 02-21-2004 at 05:34:34       [Reply]  [No Email]
Well it's like I tell the kids....hands are washable, and they won't wear out. There ain't nothing yucky you can get on 'em that you can't wash off.

Maggie/TX    Posted 02-20-2004 at 21:20:46       [Reply]  [No Email]
LOL Cindi! YES, it is a man thing. They don't even realize they are bending over backward to avoid admitting a weakness. They just do it naturally.

Ok guys. Bring it on. I ain't skeered. :p

Cindi    Posted 02-21-2004 at 05:31:39       [Reply]  [No Email]
Jill told me later that she witnessed the 'deer jump'. She said his arms went out to his sides and he floated over the mess like a big fat hot air balloon, ricocheting off the wall on the other side, cussing like a trooper. If he had stepped in it, he not only would have woken me up, but he would have been mad at me for allowing it to happen. Men.

How you been Maggie? I haven't seen you in a while.

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