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VA disability (for a friend)
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steve19438    Posted 02-22-2004 at 05:53:52       [Reply]  [Send Email]
a long time friend of mine is facing a moral dilemma. he was recently awarded a 20% VA disability. (205.00 per month) him and his wife of over 25 yrs. have ALWAYS shared everything. ya know, what's mine is yours and what's yours is mine kinda trhing. (especially when it came to money) here's the problem, my friend wants to keep the VA money for himself whereas his wife contends it should be shared money. he is willing to shre the money but only in a case of extreme emergency. what do you guys think???

jf    Posted 02-22-2004 at 14:59:07       [Reply]  [No Email]
unsure of that. In our marriage their is truely no yours and mine only ours. We set goals prioritize and work together. A team of mules pulling in different directions negates themselves.

Sid    Posted 02-22-2004 at 07:54:20       [Reply]  [No Email]
I am not a marriage counselor nor am I an advisor on finances.A after 34 years of marriage I can tell you without any reservation that they are both wrong. Marriage is a give sixty percent and accept forty per cent deal. Now for those of you who do not know who is to give sixty per cent then answer is BOTH.

~Lenore    Posted 02-22-2004 at 07:41:14       [Reply]  [No Email]
In the long run the decission is his, sort of. :-)
Maybe if he would divide it; give her half for her special fund, she would not mind his having the other half to do with as he pleases.

Having $102.50 to keep for himself and a happy wife seems much better than $205.00 and misery.

Ron/PA    Posted 02-22-2004 at 06:27:24       [Reply]  [No Email]
Sure wouldn't work at my house, and I'd be ashamed of myself for trying.
The only money I actually call mine, is the money in my wallet for my weekly expenses, and half of that usually goes for household items that I conveniently get sent to the store for, on the way home from work.
The day we got married, I informed Donna that if she wanted bills paid on time, and money going where it was needed, she'd have to handle it. Where money came from, and where it went has never been an issue with us,, Lack of it has been an issue on many occasions. Of all the things I could find to disagree with my wife over, cash isn't going to be one of them.
That's my house, you friend will have to do what his consience requires of him.

Lori    Posted 02-22-2004 at 13:10:45       [Reply]  [No Email]
LOL Ron...sounds like home to me. In our 27 years of marriage we have always "pooled" our money. For several years I made more than he did..usually he made more, it didn't really matter though. We used what we needed for household expenses and if there was any left over, we decided how to spend it. My husband ALWAYS has tuck money he thinks I don't know about but I don't care about that either. If I run short on grocery money, he always can cough up some extra. It's always worked for us.

The "you guys thing" Maybe it is regional, I say it all the time..usually directed towards my daughters.

ron,ar    Posted 02-22-2004 at 06:20:51       [Reply]  [No Email]
Now remember, you only asked what us "guys" thought:^)
Us guys all know we got to keep a "rathole" somewhere for projects "above and beyond" our ordinary scope of operations. These projects include such things as tractor funds, fishing/hunting funds, emergency purchases such as ice cream on sale or 1000mhz cpu when the old 386 crashes. Shared expenditures such as vacations to MIL house or new drapes should never come out of this fund. Any other questions?

steve19438    Posted 02-22-2004 at 06:44:36       [Reply]  [Send Email]
"guys" means anybody. its not gender specific.

Jose    Posted 02-22-2004 at 07:09:38       [Reply]  [No Email]
Guy means male, senor.

steve19438    Posted 02-22-2004 at 08:59:28       [Reply]  [Send Email]
must be a regional thing. "you guys" refers to anyone around here. as in "hey you guys" to a mixed gender bunch of people.

so if you are    Posted 02-22-2004 at 09:09:40       [Reply]  [No Email]
in a group of guys n gals, the guys refers to which gender if guys means both?

Donna from Mo    Posted 02-22-2004 at 06:20:13       [Reply]  [No Email]
When it comes to husband-and-wife stuff, it really doesn't matter what anyone else thinks: it's between the two of them. If it were me, I believe I'd let him have that money for his "tractor fund", as long as the bills are paid. But that's me.

Mugway    Posted 02-22-2004 at 06:40:05       [Reply]  [No Email]
I agree with you bills first then play,after 33 years of married bliss,I dont get to cash a pay check,SWMBO says bills first then I can have some of the money,ya know what it works,and I never have less than $50 in my wallet.

steve19438    Posted 02-22-2004 at 06:47:15       [Reply]  [Send Email]
SWMBO, whats that mean?

Donna    Posted 02-22-2004 at 06:52:03       [Reply]  [No Email]
She Who Must Be Obeyed... and I learned that one right here!

DD    Posted 02-22-2004 at 09:00:12       [Reply]  [No Email]
Too funny! I've seen that posted on Tales alot and wondered what it meant. LOL! Thanks for sharin the scoop on it Donna : )

Mugway    Posted 02-22-2004 at 06:51:39       [Reply]  [No Email]
O-obeyed :)

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