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The Devil in Ga.
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TO35    Posted 02-22-2004 at 07:24:20       [Reply]  [No Email]
A new arrival in Hadies was brought before the devil. The devil told his demon to put the man to work on a rock pile with a 20-pound sledge hammer in 95 degree heat with 95% humidity. At the end of the day, the devil went to see how the man was doing, only to find him smiling and singing as he pounded rocks. The man explained that the heat and hard labor were very similar to those on his beloved farm back in Georgia.

The devil told his demon to turn up the heat to 120 degrees, with 100% humidity. At the end of the next day, the devil again checked on the new man, and found him still happy to be sweating and straining. The man explained that it felt like the old days, when he had to clean out his silo in the middle of August on his beloved farm back in Georgia.

At that, the devil told his demon to lower the temperature for this man to -20 degrees with a 40 mph wind. At the end of the next day, the devil was confident that he would find the man miserable.

But, the man was instead singing louder than ever, twirling the sledge hammer like a baton. When the devil asked him why, he was so happy, the man answered, "Cold day in hadies, the Falcons must have won the Super Bowl!"

Jon(WI)    Posted 02-22-2004 at 07:43:15       [Reply]  [No Email]
Got a misprint there. Supposed to be "Packers", Known for their below freezing wins. Gotta git it right the first time TO-35!

Along those lines...    Posted 02-22-2004 at 07:36:16       [Reply]  [No Email]
I dreamed that I went to the City of Gold,
To Heaven, resplendent and fair,
and after I entered that beautiful fold,
By one in authority there I was told
That not a Vermonter was there!

"Impossible," said I. "A host from my town
Have sought this delectable place,
And each must be here with a harp and a crown,
A conqueror's palm and clean linen gown
Received through merited grace."

The Angel replied: "All Vermonters come here
When first they depart from the earth,
But after a day or a month or a year
They restless and lonesome and homesick appear
And sigh for the land of their birth."

"They tell of its many and beautiful hills
Where forest majestic appear;
Its rivers and lakes and its streams and its rills
Where nature the purest of water distills,
And they soon get dissatisfied here."

"They tell of ravines, wild, secluded and deep
Of clover-decked landscapes serene,
Of towering mountains, imposing and steep
Adown which the torrents exultingly leap
Through forests perennially green."

We give them the best that the Kingdom provides,
They have everything here that they want;
But not a Vermonter in Heaven abides,
A very short time period here he resides,
Then hikes his way back to Vermont."

E. F. Johnstone


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