Posted 02-23-2004 at 06:31:59
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- A conceited person never gets anywhere because he thinks he is there already.
- When a fellow ain't got much mind, it don't take him long to make it up...... Will Rogers
- Whether you think you can or think you can't... your are right........ Henry Ford
- A small boy, visiting the U.Sl Senate with his father asked him: "What does the Chaplain of Congress do?"
"He stands up, looks at the Congress, and prays for the country," the father answered.
- In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.... Albert Einstein
- A man who was doing a haulijng job was told that he couldn't get his money until he submitted a statement. After much meditation he evolved the following bill: "Three comes and three goes, at four bits a went, $3.00".
- After the service the little boy told Reverend Gault, "When I grow up, I'm going to give you some money".
"Well, thank you," Dan replied, "but why?"
"Because my daddy says you're one of the poorest preachers we've ever had."
- People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care........ John Maxwell
- The other night, I heard robers in our kitchen. I jumped out of bed, ran out and asked, "What are you looking for?"
"Money," one robber replied.
"Well, turn on the light and I'll try to help you find some."
- Man who say it cannot be done should not interrupt man doing it..... Chinese Proverb
- It is usually the fellow with the big mouth who bites off more than he can chew.
- Two men were getting each other up to date on getting along with their wives. Nate said to Roy, "What are you anyhow, a man or a mouse?"
"I'm a man," Roy responded.
"What makes you think so?" queired Nate.
"Because," Roy returned, "my wife is afraid of a mouse."
- The tenor soloist was delighted when on of the parishioners spoke to him after the church service.
"You have a very mellow voice." he said.
The soloist got out his dictionary when he arrived at home. The definition he found for "mellow" was "over-ripe and almost rotten."
- Al: "They tell me your wife is outspoken."
Herb: "By whom?"
REFORMER: One who insists on his conscience being your guide.
One who makes his associates feel miserable about their pleasures.
RICH MAN: Only a poor man with money.
A man who has so much money he doesn't even know his son is in college.
RUSH HOUR: When traffic stands still.
SELF-CONFIDENCE: A personal quality that is closely related to conceit....... Herbert V Prochnow
SICKNESS: Means not to feel well. There are three stages: 1. Ill: 2. Pill: 3. Bill. Sometimes there is another 4. Will.
SMALL TOWN: Where you don't need turning signals, everyone knows where you're going anyway.
SMART FELLOW: A man who says what he thinks, provided, of course, he agrees with us.