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Uncle Sean the Hole
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Alias    Posted 02-27-2004 at 08:44:16       [Reply]  [No Email]
Noew it t'was known by all, both near and far that Uncle Sean Liked the necture. For, it was from him that the expression, "Bending of the elbow", originated. And, he could bend with the best, or, worst of them. Whichever the case may be, dependant on who was doing the telling.

Now, Old Sean had a favorite watering hole where he would meet with his friends and while away the hours until closing time. Usually, Sean was among, if not the last, to leave the establishment.

Nowe, on the night in question, Sean was indeed the last patron to depart from the pub. He waited as the bartender locked the door. And, after they had exchanged goodnights, one to the other, the keeper went southward and Old Uncle Sean headed north. Nowe, it t'was a right fair piece from the village to Sean's cottage. But he had walked it almost nightly, in rain, sleet, snow and even on nights when the mesquitoes were so thick that it was nearly impossible to see, for the best part of 20 years. And, during that time, he had grown accustomed to every bend, rut, rock, or other features found on the road. In fact, it was often stated by the people of the village that Sean could find his way home even if blindfolded. For, many had been the times when he had travel the jaunt too drunk to see.

As it were on this particular night, the moon was in the final stages of the last quarter and was therefore only a sliver. Compounded with the fact that a storm was moving in from the west and brought with it a covering of the darkest, blackest clouds ever witnessed by human eyes, Old sean found himself in virual darkness as soon as he left the lights of the village. Not to worry, says he to himself, For I have travelled this road, man and boy for the past 40 years. And, he continued, I know her every crook and turn. aye, he says, under his breath, she's been like a mother to me. For, she has always beconed my tired, aching body home for a little rest. So, with this he continued his trek.

All of a sudden, Sean felt himself falling. Down and down and down he went until he landed with a thud on what he knew not. Once he has regained his composure, he shook some sensibility into his brain and tried to imagine what was going on. He knew he was still on the road, but he couldn't rationalize the hole. Did a fireball from heaven land here and create this abiss, he asked himself? Or, perhaps an underground disturbance caused the land to fall away therby leaving this hole? Whatever the reason, being a man of determination, he decided the thing to do was to pull himself up and find a way out so he could go on home. So, he reached for the top, or rim of the hole but could not reach that far. Next he began to feel all the way around the pit to see if there was perhaps a slope that was flat enought to climb. But, what he found was that the wall was nearly perfectly plumb, as though it had been chistled by a giant shovel. But, unsure as to where he started, he took out his knife and scored the wall in order to know exactly where he began. Then he made another turn around the pit, feeling with both hands as he went, until he came again to the knife marks.

By this time he had grown tired and decided to sit and rest. So with his back to the wall, he rested and thought. Perhaps, he said to himself, if I take a running start, I might be able to gain enough momentum to fling myself up high enough to reach the top, and then pull myself out. So, he again stood and with his back to the wall he began running for the other side. At just the right moment, he jumped just prior to colliding with the wall and extended his hands upward in an effort to reach the top. But his jump was too short and he slid back down.

Maybe with practice I can get my speed and jump just right to clear the top, he thought aloud. So, he made several attempts to run and jump but it was to no avail. For, all he got for his efforts were some badly bruised ribs and a sore stomache. After a while, tired and aching, he again sat down with his back to the wall. Suddenly, a voice behind him said" You'll never make it".............but, he did.

T D in Tennessee    Posted 02-27-2004 at 12:08:23       [Reply]  [No Email]
always been kinda jumpy myself. Pun intended!!

Stormie    Posted 02-27-2004 at 10:23:17       [Reply]  [No Email]
Enjoyed it. Thanks

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