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To add your comments to this topic, click on one of the 'Reply' links below.

Lemme tell you about Florida
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Cindi    Posted 03-22-2004 at 21:06:01       [Reply]  [No Email]
After all this talk about my state I feel obligated to defend her. I wasn't born here, I'm a native Texan, so I do have some basis for comparison. The weather is absolutely gorgeous. In the winter. While you yanks are waddling around in snow up to your haunches and packing on enough down to build a king sized comforter, we are roaming about in t-shirts, shorts and sandals.

The further south you go the bigger the joke winter becomes. We light fires to roast weanies, ya'll light fires to keep yours from freezing off. Coats and boots are not insulated, attics are. Walking out the door and coming in contact with anything slick enough to make you fall down only happens if you own a few dogs.

We don't have tree limbs caked with ice falling on us and breaking our heads. We don't become impaled on big icicles that fall from the roof. We don't get snowbound and we don't have whiteouts, and a blizzard is something with m and m's in it that you get from the Dairy Queen.

Our pipes don't freeze and frostbite is what happens to a chicken if you don't wrap it well before sticking it in the freezer. Your crime rate may be lower, but good Lord, eight months out of the year the population in the northern half of the country is so busy trying not to freeze to death, who has time to rob a bank?

On the flip side, the weather here sucks. In the summer. It gets so hot that you can literally see steam rising off you when you work outside. The heat is compounded by 99% humidity that causes you to sweat like a mule even when standing still.

The heat, unlike the cold, brings about unreasonable feelings of frustration and anger. They don't call them 'dog days of summer' for nothing. When standing in line at 'It's a small World' in DisneyWorld you tend to start studying the back of the sun-reddened neck of the tourist in front of you and before long you would happily kill him to get into that air conditioned little boat ride as little as sixty seconds sooner. It would be worth it.

Then you have the thunderstorms that happen from April to September, thunder that will rattle your butt of out the bed and crack windows. Lightning that streaks from the sky in so many places at the same second that you can't see it all at once. Rain that comes in deluges fit to drown you, and mud that strives to suck you into the mushy earth never to be heard from again. Up north, when someone says 'hurricane', it's generally because they are standing at a bar trying to order something strong enough to thaw them out, when we say it, we're standing in line at the grocery store buying every jug of bottled water and package of batteries we can lay our hands on.

We bust our humps to make a living and the snowbirds (retired northerners who come here to escape YOUR winter) get all the breaks on meal prices and groceries and then we have to try to drive around them when they park in the middle of the road and argue about who has the best early bird special on Wednesday night.

You want to meet a rude person? Get in front of a little old grandma from Minnesota who has her eye on the last piece of steak at the buffet table and get to it before she does. You haven't seen anything like it, I assure you. She feels entitled to it, in her eyes, if you live here, you should be serving it. They have no tolerance for people who live here. We are here to cater to them. By God.

Then there's the tourists who clog up every main artery between Tampa and Orlando, have no idea where they are going so they pull out in front of you or cut in line in front of you, dump a bunch of money at Epcot and leave a mess behind when they go back up north. For every bad vacation story, there is a Floridian who lived the other half of it and can be assured that he will live it over and over and over as long as he lives in Florida.

The bugs are out year round but are not nearly so vicious as they are in the summer. There are more bugs out here that feast on human flesh than anywhere else in the country, and when they're not eating on us, their eating on our animals. Fleas, flies, ticks, lice, roaches, scorpions, wasps, yellow jackets, hornets, and the list goes on and on, all year round. It never gets cold enough to kill them. The soil sucks for the most part. It's primarily sand. You have to put so much junk in it and on it to get most stuff to grow that it's hardly worth the trouble. The ground water is so close to the surface that if you dig down deeper than six feet, you have a new well. Just raking the yard you find shark's teeth, fish fossils and clam shells.

On the upside, there are certain plants here that like our soil. Which is what assures us that in the middle of December we can walk out in the yard and pick a fresh orange, grapefruit, lemon, or lime right off the tree. Watermelons are so plentiful that they can be found for less than a buck apiece for three months running. Garlic and onions grow wild along the river year round, and tomatos and all kinds of peppers thrive. And the flowers, well, that goes without saying. It would take you all your life just to identify the wild flowers.

And the wildlife can't be beat for hunting or just for adventure. Turkeys, deer, hogs, rabbits, quail, geese, duck, gators, and scads of varieties of snakes and lizards. Cranes and other assorted egrets and water birds, such as pelicans and seagulls. In the water... salt or fresh, any kind of fish you can imagine, shrimp, lobster, shark, crab, manatees or sea cows, sting rays, dolphins, and the list goes on for days.

Yes we can brag on mild winters, but we pay for it in the summer. The same way someone up north can brag on mild summers and then pay for it in the winter. We don't have beautiful vistas and hills and valleys but we have some of the most breathtaking sunsets and sugary white sand beaches and unlimited opportunities to hike, walk and roam without the fear of being eaten by a bear or a mountain lion.

You guys can swim in a lake or river and not lose a foot to a gator. We can go outside nekkid in January and not end up in intensive care. So it's all relative. I live here, and appreciate it, however if I could live any other place in the world it would be Texas. But the one thing I have learned about Florida is that ninety nine percent of the time if you run into a rude, mean, nasty, SOB and ask him where he's from, he's not from here but has come from somewhere else. Every true native Floridian I have ever met has been kind and generous and very good-natured. It's folks like me who move in and take over that give Florida a bad name. I am not a native and I have no patience for tourists and rude retirees. So I'm one of those rude SOBs you might run into on I-4. You'll know me by the single finger wave I send you when you cut me off on your way to DisneyWorld.

Ole Hi Har    Posted 03-23-2004 at 13:56:19       [Reply]  [No Email]
Northern Safety must have lost his spouse to a Floridian.

Cosmo    Posted 03-23-2004 at 14:32:16       [Reply]  [No Email]
Or maybe he found her in Florida.:)

Rickstir    Posted 03-23-2004 at 13:44:23       [Reply]  [No Email]
You forgot to mention spring training. Love to do that, my wife and I will be down there one year from now as I just found out there is a conference I want to attend. Like almost everybody, I like to visit different places but it is always good to get back home. I was born and reared in St. Louis, MO. Moved out about 120 miles 9 years ago and never looked back. Our county (less than 10,000 people), is quiet for the most part. Very farm,animal,fishing and hunting friendly. I have to work 50 miles away, but I love where I live and wouldn't change a thing. Headhunters call all the time, "nope" is my short answer. "You haven't heard the offer" they say. "You haven't seen my farm" I reply. Five years or so until retirement, then life will get really good.

Thanks Cindi....    Posted 03-23-2004 at 09:11:56       [Reply]  [No Email] just couldn't resist it could ya!?


RY (Rough and Rowdy Yankee)


NORTHERN SAFETY    Posted 03-23-2004 at 08:18:40       [Reply]  [No Email]
Yep...I've heard it all hear. Florida is indeed a place to endure, not really enjoy. Crime. Damaging Lightning. Humidity. Hurricanes. Florida has all of those more than any other state. Florida is for those willing to endure the bad points, and face the very few good points (mild winter, the ONLY good point).
As for Tennessee, Nashville and Memphis are one of the very few cities that give Miami, Orlando, Tampa, Jacksonville and Tallahassee a run for their money when it comes to crime. But as for me, I'll stay here in Western Massachusetts, and continue to discourage others from moving to Florida so that they too won't cry every day.

Shadowood    Posted 03-23-2004 at 08:11:48       [Reply]  [No Email]
Forgive me for posting this one again but Cindi has some good points.

I live in South West Florida. We do live in the country though but there is crime. Most of my family is in law enforcement and know first hand the crime here. I happen to be a nurse and have seen quite a bit at the emergency room. Crime is everywhere, racism can be found in any state(unfortunately), and terrorism comes in all forms. I personally wouldn't mind if a lot of people down here moved up north to where *Northern Safety* lives. I figure if I live in a state that is so awful mabey I can have some peace, because nobody should want to live here. Should I move into the everglades? True Florida Crackers (like myself) find it funny when people are scared of mosquitos (our state bird), alligators ( By the way do you Know the proper way yo outrun a gator? tip: run in a zigzag pattern even my 5 year old knows this), and violent weather. If it is so bad why do people move here in mass? I don't begrudge people the right to live here or anywhere else. I wouldn't mind alot of less people down here though. Oh well for now I will continue sitting on my porch at night watching lightning (while feeding those skeeters); participating in our rodeo; and enjoying the fact that my neighbors are of all different cultures, races, & ethnic backgrounds. If someone is too scared to live in this state or any other one for that matter, mabey they need to learn some skills to protect themselves better and feel more secure on there own. Good luck with whatever your choices are.

Northern Safety to Shadow    Posted 03-23-2004 at 08:23:04       [Reply]  [No Email]
To me, common sense indicates a lot of reasons why people flock to Florida "en masse". They fall in love with the concept of beautiful weather year round, of course forgetting how long, hot, hunid, mosquito-ridden, lightning-ridden the summers are. They fall in love with the beaches, forgetting that the crime rate again is profusely high in the 6 largest urban areas. Too high. So really, they see this picture image of the state while forgetting its many hardships. I would rather live in a colder but SAFER area, where I won't have to deal with as many bugs and where humidity won't come indoors with me (sweat on my skin).

Northern Safety to Shadow    Posted 03-25-2004 at 11:26:42       [Reply]  [No Email]
"knowing we are tougher."Well too bad. I don't envy Floridians for living in a state where they have to be so tough. There's a lot of places out West to live in which have a much drier climate, where you don't feel the extremes of heat and cold, and of course are much much less crime-oriented. Not to mention better school systems, better places to raise a child. I feel sorry for Floridians - their "toughness" means it's a state to endure, more than enjoy.

Shadowood    Posted 03-23-2004 at 17:32:14       [Reply]  [Send Email]
Where I work there is a lot of people from up north and who say they moved because they couldn't take the snow and cold winters any more.
Most of our Northerners have a pretty good idea they come here for the winter and go back up in the summer. All the things that bother you about Florida I don't even notice. We (the family) always take bets on how many hurricanes in season and what catagory they will be. I still remember the hurricane that had my name. A Florida cracker (someone born here) takes pride in the hardships of our state. We like knowing we are tougher, I could live anywhere and adapt. But as long as my Mother's remains are buried here on our land this will always be home.

I must admit......    Posted 03-23-2004 at 07:42:49       [Reply]  [No Email]
....if the South would have won,,,,we'd have had it made!! :^)
But they didn't.
I'm just an ole Appalchian hillbilly, drove thru Texas once..I think it is what some would refer to as "heII on earth".




ron,ar    Posted 03-23-2004 at 05:26:17       [Reply]  [No Email]
Boy, Cindi, between your report and that Northern Safety fella there won't be anybody wanting to either visit or live in Florida:^)

Not quite...    Posted 03-23-2004 at 05:34:15       [Reply]  [No Email]
I heard Al Sharpton is looking for a place ta roost down there... :^)

Mudcat49    Posted 03-23-2004 at 04:04:54       [Reply]  [No Email]
Yew tell 'em Cindi!

Cindi    Posted 03-23-2004 at 04:19:05       [Reply]  [No Email]
I forgot to mention ocean breezes that reach the middle ofhe state in the early summer, bringing whiffs of the sea as far inland as sixty miles, and the way that there is always green grass growing in the dead of winter. But I also forgot to mention sink holes and mold. It's a neat place, not boring and totally unpredictable. Keeps you on your toes, doesn't it?

Les    Posted 03-23-2004 at 04:21:00       [Reply]  [No Email]
Now we all know why it wasn't one of the 13 original colonies/states.

Fawteen    Posted 03-23-2004 at 03:05:58       [Reply]  [No Email]
I lived in the Florida Panhandle (Pensacola) for 5 years, and in the Charleston, SC area for 3 years.

In both places, I met the same assortment of folks you meet anywhere, had the same joys and disappointments, etc. etc. etc. In other words, what Donna said. A place, ANY place, is what you make of it.

I came back up north because I can't stand the heat. Heck, it gets too hot for my liking here in MAINE for crying out loud! My argument is I can always put on some more clothes or throw another log on the fire, but they's only so many clothes I can take off before people start complaining...

DD    Posted 03-23-2004 at 02:44:27       [Reply]  [No Email]
THANK-YOU CINDI! You put it into words for the rest of us : )

Donna from Mo    Posted 03-23-2004 at 02:29:03       [Reply]  [No Email]
Somewhere I heard a fable about a traveler who was searching for a home. He came to the outskirts of a town, and saw a wise old fellow sitting on his porch.

"What sort of people live in this town," inquired the traveler, "I'm looking to relocate."

"What sort of folk were there in the last town in which you lived," asked the old man.

"Oh, they were a bunch of heathens and gossips. It's because of them I'm looking for a new home."

"Then you'll find the folks here to be the same," answered the old man.

I've found this story to be appropriate: You will find what you are looking for in people, so make it a point to look for the good no matter where you live. It'll make for a happier life, and anyplace can become a little piece of heaven.

SusieQ    Posted 03-23-2004 at 01:48:29       [Reply]  [No Email]
I have relatives that live in Fla state, been there and visited. All states are pretty, guess that is why I like traveling around.

States have to live, make a living just like so many others out is called tourism, to bring the dollars in, to keep their budgets going.

Every once in awhile, tho, there is a corner in each and every state that still remains untouched by progress, the fast life, this is what is so nice too.

You can have it    Posted 03-22-2004 at 21:40:08       [Reply]  [No Email]
The last post that went thru here about Florida was way out there IMO, kinda got outta hand. I could care less about Florida and the further it is away from here...the better. But I live in Ohio and wouldn't give anybody 50cents for anything below Tennesee. If Canada wasn't so miserable cold to me...that's where I'd be. No offense to you personnally (Cindi) intended.


Cindi    Posted 03-23-2004 at 04:10:41       [Reply]  [No Email]
None taken. I just think that in order to form a solid opinion you need to be here a year or two. A person has to have time to get to know a place. The first year I lived here I cried every day. Then I learned to deal with the bad issues and appreciate the good ones. Just like anybody does anywhere. I miss fall colors and rocks most of all. Yes I am still lamenting the lack of rocks. I like rocks.

toolman    Posted 03-22-2004 at 21:45:36       [Reply]  [No Email]
i love it , you think canada is so cold, just keep thinking that , then we won,t end up like florida, with all the tourists, no offence but i chuckle when i hear how cold it is up here.

jeanette    Posted 03-22-2004 at 21:30:58       [Reply]  [No Email]
i sure would miss the changing seasons, and the excitment of the first snow fall, and of coarse snow days!!! the state a person lives in should be their favorite state, unless your like me and split your time between your home state and the state of confusion

Cindi    Posted 03-23-2004 at 03:49:11       [Reply]  [No Email]
Well I'll tell you what, you couldn't pay me to live south of Naples Florida. Anybody who comes out of Miami badmouthing Florida has every right to do so, I've been there and I was only there two hours before I got ripped off for fifty dollars. It's the big city thing. Miami is the same as LA or Phila or Houston or New York, it's got some very scary characteristics, and unless you grew up there, you have to wonder what the he11 the attraction is. But to just go rippping the whole state, that's not fair. Like I said, my heart is in Texas, but the money is here in Flroida so you make it what you make it, and there are nice places to live in any state. And I should have said this last night, but this post is directed to the ones who were knocking Flordia, not people up north in general.

Shadowood    Posted 03-23-2004 at 08:05:04       [Reply]  [No Email]
Florida has aprox 54,000 sq miles of land.
Tennessee has aprox 41,000 sq miles of land.
Florida's population is aprox 16 million with 89% of that living in urban areas.
Tennessee's population is aprox 6 million with 64% of that in urban areas.
Florida's crime index is aprox 5,420.6
Tennessee's crime index is aprox 5,018.9

Statistically based on population comparison I don't see much diffence. But hey thats just me.
Statistics gathered from The United States Crime Index.
By the way the largest crime index rate per pop. area goes to the District Of Columbia ( our nations capital) with a crime index over 8,000.

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