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The Middle Wife... (got in my email) TeeHee
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DD    Posted 04-24-2004 at 20:04:58       [Reply]  [No Email]
The Middle Wife

I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself,
but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second-grade
classroom a few years back. When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So
I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over
shyness and experience a little public speaking. And it gives me a break
and some guaranteed entertainment.

Usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model
airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never,
ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug
it to school and talk about it, they're welcome.

Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and
waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her
sweater. She holds up a snapshot of an infant. "This is Luke, my baby
brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday. First, Mom and
Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my
Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an
umbrella cord." She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and
I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids
are watching her in amazement. "Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom
starts saying and going, 'Oh, oh, oh!'" Erica puts a hand behind her
back and groans. "She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh,
oh, oh!'" Now the ! kid's doing this hysterical duck walk, holding her
back and groaning. "My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies,
but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man." "They got
my Mom to lie down in bed like this." Erica lies down with her back
against the wall. "And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept
in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all
over the bed, like psshhheew!" This kid has her legs spread and with her
little hands are miming water flowing away. It was too much! "Then the
middle wife starts saying 'push, push, and breathe, breathe. They
started counting, but never even got past ten.

Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky
stuff they all said was from Mom's play-center, so there must be a lot
of stuff inside there."

Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow
and returned to her seat. I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since
then, if it's show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case
another Erica comes along.

Life is meant to be lived . . . enjoy! Laughing helps.

mud    Posted 04-26-2004 at 14:01:37       [Reply]  [No Email]
thank you. what a treasure these little people are. thank you thank you...

SusieQ    Posted 04-25-2004 at 06:28:18       [Reply]  [No Email]
Out of the mouths of babes, died laughing at this one, how so originial in a child's mind, and what fun they can be. So honest/candid and laughter is the best medicine ever, thanks for the wonderful story. We all have heard similar cute ones, but this one is tops.....

Fern(Mi)    Posted 04-25-2004 at 02:58:34       [Reply]  [No Email]
From day one, when every any-one of our children asked a question, we answered it honestly/truthfully. No part of the proccess left undiscribed.
The first born, first day of school, first accademic question; not the first child to answer: "Where did you come from?"
My learned daughter not wanting to be one to know anymore than another, answered, "From under a rock."

Vic in Kenefick    Posted 04-25-2004 at 01:33:48       [Reply]  [No Email]
That was great. Erica for president. She will beat what we have now and what the demos have come up with. They both stink.

~Lenore    Posted 04-24-2004 at 20:28:36       [Reply]  [No Email]
Great reenactment of Erica's show and tell.
That was so cute, funny and real.
Did you ever let her parents know how she educated the class?
Parents just dont know how much teachers and day care workers know about them, do they?
Thanks for sharing that story.

Alias    Posted 04-24-2004 at 20:26:35       [Reply]  [No Email]
Very good. Very funny. It's true that kids say the darndest things..........gfp

jeanette    Posted 04-25-2004 at 07:18:46       [Reply]  [No Email]
oh that was funny... priceless thanks for sharing.

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