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Would you allow a 13-year old son to pierce his ea
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J    Posted 05-10-2004 at 17:10:34       [Reply]  [No Email]
Would you allow a 13-year old son to pierce his ear like his friends have?

(So many boys seem to do it. So many parents seem to let them.)

Old John    Posted 05-11-2004 at 05:01:47       [Reply]  [Send Email]
Hi J,

I raised my boys to be independent.
Hey, they neither one asked. When they were ready to get an ear pierced, they did it. One was at 16, one at 15. They paid for it themselves. they took care of it themselves. They came home & showed me. Where's the harm in an earring?

One still wears an earing, at 34 yrs. old.
He just closed on his second house, a little place in the country, on an acre. He & his wife have two beautiful daughters, 13 & 11.

The younger son wore his for awhile, 4 or 5 yrs. & let it go. He closed last month on their 1st house. Oh, & they have two rowdy boys.

Point is, in the "Grand Scheme of Things",
earrings really don't seem to matter a hel of a lot, As long as you don't make a big issue of it.
Have a good un,
'Til later........
Old John

J    Posted 05-11-2004 at 06:56:01       [Reply]  [No Email]
'When they were ready to get an ear pierced, they did it. One was at 16, one at 15. They paid for it themselves. they took care of it themselves. They came home & showed me.'

While I believe it's the parent's right to say no, I think we need to recognize that it's something lots of teenaged boys like to do, whether or not people 'like' it, which is subjective.

dale anne    Posted 05-11-2004 at 04:53:07       [Reply]  [No Email]
howdy J, I say pick yer battles a pierced ear such a big deal?....i have 3 sons and they all have piercings....what i did was sat them down..explained to them that the ear was ok but i would not except stretching of the ears...face piercings...and they had to pull up their britches!...iffin they could do this fer me I would allow the's a phase...only 1 of my boys keep the earring in longer then a month....I believe that arguing over larger things...such as that 15 y/o new driver that a child might get into a car with is a bigger issue then a simple ole isnt a life changing event!.....well good luck...dale anne

J    Posted 05-11-2004 at 04:59:01       [Reply]  [No Email]
'i have 3 sons and they all have piercings....'

That doesn't surprise me; it's very widespread. It really wouldn't be unusual and I'm not sure there's any real principle at stake.

Thanks anyway.

E. G. HENDRICKSON    Posted 05-11-2004 at 04:10:43       [Reply]  [Send Email]
So far, my youngest has shown no intrest! But as
far as the harm in it, I can remember the hurt
I caused my mother in 1977 when I came home from
the Army with a ring in my ear and a fresh tatoo
on my forearm, its something I`ll never forget.
My oldest son is 23, and after the good example
I set for him, he now has 4 tatoos and a hole in
his ear. I can`t change the past, but I can work
on the future. Mother is long dead and I don`t
wear the ring anymore but the tatoo is still there
to remind me that I`m not near as smart as I think
I am.

J    Posted 05-11-2004 at 04:56:29       [Reply]  [No Email]
A ring can be removed, a tattoo is permanent! Thanks.

Ron,ar    Posted 05-10-2004 at 22:21:54       [Reply]  [No Email]
No, I would not, I would fight it tooth and nail, we adults have to draw the line somewhere. Our rules-in our house. Take a stand somewhere!

~Lenore    Posted 05-10-2004 at 21:13:06       [Reply]  [No Email]

Be different...Be yoursel    Posted 05-10-2004 at 20:31:16       [Reply]  [No Email]
That's part of the problem with this country.....why can't he be himself instead of trying to be like "all the other boys"?
Most parents anymore let there kids do whatever, they are raised by the TV. Maybe he can smoke dope too, because there are parents out there that let their kids do that too? After all, all the other kids are doing it!?

No way    Posted 05-10-2004 at 20:24:44       [Reply]  [No Email]
I absolutely would not let either of my sons (8 and 11) get it done if they asked, not even if they were 40. They'd better be getting rid of them if they wanted to be seen in public with embarrassing. I can't stand a man with a earring, a man/boy with an earring looks gay whether he is or not. A 13 year old is in no degree mature enough to make that sort of decession. I suppose that piercing other body parts would be ok too?

It's a do what ever I want society.

Maggie/TX    Posted 05-10-2004 at 19:18:05       [Reply]  [No Email]
I absolutely agree with Donna/Mo. At 13, you pick your battles and save the struggles for the really important issues.

Now, I would "allow" it, but would not help it to get done. I would not pay to have his ear pierced. When our son was that age he wanted his ear pierced. I wouldn't do anything to help that happen. One day he came out of the bathroom with one of my larger sewing needles sticking through his ear. He had done it himself without even ice to numb it. I did not pitch a fit as it was a done deal. Since he was determined enough and tough enough to do this himself, I went and found him a solid gold stud to put in it so his ear would not become infected. I did ride him about keeping it clean in the days to come. This fad lasted a little less than a year before he gave up and let the hole grow closed. No big deal.

J    Posted 05-11-2004 at 02:54:25       [Reply]  [No Email]
I'm grateful for all the responses.

It varies from place to place but I saw this on the Web:

"My nephew is 10 and just got his ear pierced...and he was one of the
last boys in his class to get it done"

In the end I don't want to get into the 'whether it looks nice' sort of argument; that's subjective.

It's just that these days middle aged women and grandmothers are increasingly multipierced: I just wonder how strongly it should be argued simultaneously that a boy in his teens can't have even one stud in one earlobe, particularly if friends his age have already had it done.

I'm strongly conservative in my values: I do know various young men in and boys in conservative evangelical churches who happen to wear an earring or two.

Anyway, thanks for the comments.

henrich    Posted 05-10-2004 at 19:05:04       [Reply]  [Send Email]
Instead of using one of those pain staking needles to pierce the hole, you could recommend using the tine from the pitch fork. It would create a larger hole and that way he could carry his car keys on his ear, or form it around a dowl of wood.

dont know    Posted 05-10-2004 at 18:59:22       [Reply]  [No Email]

when i was his age my daddy threatened to put a nose ring on me if i didn't settle down some. he said i needed reelin in from time to time and he'd manage it better if i had that ring. he was about 3 sheets to the wind when we had that talk. there was a nose ring on the table and the leather punch next to it. i made it to the door before he caught me. that nose ring laid on the table for a while. i settled down some too.

maybe that boy of yours would like to have a nose ring in his ear, and if he needs reelin in you'll have a spot to tie on!!! hahahaha


joe    Posted 05-10-2004 at 18:38:10       [Reply]  [No Email]

DD    Posted 05-10-2004 at 18:51:32       [Reply]  [No Email]
I was always told: Left is right and Right is Wrong ; ) Most of the young fellers I see nowadays have both ears pierced.

Dave Munson    Posted 05-10-2004 at 18:09:22       [Reply]  [No Email]

(Father of twin boys)

TB    Posted 05-10-2004 at 18:29:49       [Reply]  [No Email]
Thay like to keep testing to see whare is the magic line is that thay cant cross.

BOSS    Posted 05-10-2004 at 17:46:01       [Reply]  [No Email]
Nope, he can do it when he moves out of the house.

another thought...    Posted 05-10-2004 at 17:37:04       [Reply]  [No Email]
the word in your post just jumps out at me...."seem"....

I do tend to agree somewhat that it"seems" a small thing.....but could it lead to bigger things????

I'm still old fashioned and think males don't need them...atleast till they are of age....13 is to young....

TO....still thinking about this one

Chas in Me    Posted 05-10-2004 at 17:31:03       [Reply]  [No Email]
Donna's advice isgood. Pick your battles and they should be about serious stuff. Earring holes will grow in when he gets tired of the jewels. This isn't serious. You might even offer to help him pick out his new rings.

J    Posted 05-11-2004 at 03:35:56       [Reply]  [No Email]
Re.: "You might even offer to help him pick out his new rings"

I guess that the 'guided freedom', which a teenager might increasingly receive, can sometimes be better than a constant 'No! No! No!', particularly if there's no real point of principle at stake.

Alias    Posted 05-10-2004 at 17:27:36       [Reply]  [No Email]
Absolutely! Just as soon as he start assuming the mortgage and car payments. Also, he will have to buy groceries and pay for home, car and health insurance. In addition, he will have to assume the responsibility for paying all utility, cable and phone bills. With all that added expense, he couldn't afford the hole much less the earring.......gfp

Donna from Mo    Posted 05-10-2004 at 17:26:29       [Reply]  [No Email]
I would let him, yes. It's harmless. Pick your battles, save your energy for bigger ones.

J    Posted 05-11-2004 at 03:38:29       [Reply]  [No Email]
'It's harmless.'

If anyone can serious explain and demonstrate how it would be harmful I'd be grateful to know.

Bob    Posted 05-10-2004 at 18:10:03       [Reply]  [No Email]
Several years ago, my son, then 13, wanted his ear pierced. It was brought up and argued about for months. Finally, one day at the mall, he brought it up, and was arguing with his Mom.

I said, "sure it's OK son. Mom will help you find a piercing place here in the mall, and help you pick out a stud for your new piercing, and I'll pay for it"

Mom was shocked I said that, but agreed to it. The kid immediately chickened out. I kept telling him how cool he'd look with a pierced ear, and kept trying to drag him into a boutique that did ear piercing. He was terrified.

It's been two years now, and he's never mentioned an ear piercing again... go figure!

DD    Posted 05-10-2004 at 17:29:07       [Reply]  [No Email]

KellyGa    Posted 05-10-2004 at 17:33:29       [Reply]  [No Email]
Ditto that! No harm in him getting it if he is a good kid.

J    Posted 05-11-2004 at 07:07:53       [Reply]  [No Email]
If there's harm, I wish someone would explain.

I CAN see that the harm could come if teens naively get ear piercings behind the parents' backs when doing it in front of a mirror with an unsterile mirror. With so many diseases around, that's a scenario that's to be avoided.

I guess in some families the harm is in NOT taking him to a jeweler to have it done, and then a dirty self-administered needle causes big problems.

TO35    Posted 05-10-2004 at 17:24:07       [Reply]  [No Email]
Hes your kid, not trying to be ugly but is that the image you raised him to follow? follow with the rest..... or be a leader....seems hes wants to draw attention to him self and thats a selfesteem thing....hes should know he is unique and feel more comfortable with his everday personality instead of doing things just because his friend did it....and as the old saying goes, if tommy jumped off a bridge would you?

of course this is just my opnion....I put more stock in personalities than copying someone else image....
my vote is "NO"

KellyGa    Posted 05-10-2004 at 17:23:08       [Reply]  [No Email]
Well, I don't have a son, I have a nine year old daughter. She doesn't want her ears pierced right now, but she may change her mind in the future, and when she does want it done, I will go with her, and she will have my permission. I think it is her choice, and I don't think babies should have their ears pierced.

With boys, even though you hate so say it, it IS different. I didn't quite know how to feel about it, so I asked my husband what he thought, since he has his left ear pierced, and he is 37, had it done when he was 17.

Here is what he said, number one they are supposed to have to have your permission. NO body supposedly will do it with him being so young and so you would have to be with him more than likely.

He said, he wouldn't want him to, but as we all know, kids will do what they want sometimes, we all went against the grain when we were young at some time or another. My parents didnt allow me to get mine pierced, but I did it anyway. My husband said he wouldn't approve it, but he wouldn't go ballistic and yell and scream for him to take it out if he came home with it done. He wouldn't be happy about it, but its not a life threatening terrible thing.

Tell us why you ask?

DD    Posted 05-10-2004 at 17:22:40       [Reply]  [No Email]
Hmmm, Does he make good grades in school? Is he a "good" kid? Is he Respectful of your opinions and rules of the house? Sounds to me like he's on the right track if he's ASKING before he just did it. I personally see nothin wrong with it, but it isn't MY son. Mine just wants me to let him get his head buzzed in a crew cut. He's only 9 though. LOL! Good Luck in whatever decision you make ; )

TB    Posted 05-10-2004 at 17:17:51       [Reply]  [No Email]
As long as he gets both done I see nothing wrong with it. Wouldn't want to break up a set you know. Or walk around lopsided.

It worked on my nephew";^)

TB    Posted 05-10-2004 at 17:16:53       [Reply]  [No Email]
As long as he gets both done I see nothing wrong with it. Wouldn't want to break up a set you know. Or walk around lopsided

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