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Country Discussion Topics
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Redneck Rules of Etiquette
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KellyGa    Posted 05-29-2004 at 07:55:34       [Reply]  [No Email]
Redneck Rules of Etiquette
>
> General
>
> - Never take a beer to a job interview.
> - Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them.
> - It's considered tacky to take a cooler to church.
> - If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets.
> - Even if you're certain that you are included in the will,
> it is still considered tacky to drive a U-Haul to the funeral home.
>
>
> Dining Out
>
> - When decanting wine, make sure that you tilt the paper cup,
> and pour slowly so as not to "bruise" the fruit of the wine.
> - If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold it with
> your fingers covering the label.
>
>
> Entertaining in your home
>
> - A centerpiece for the table should never be anything pre-
> pared by a taxidermist.
> - Do not allow the dog to eat at the table...no matter how
> good his manners are.
>
>
> Personal Hygiene
>
> - While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that
> should be done in private using one's OWN truck keys.
> - Proper use of toiletries can forestall bathing for several
> days. However, if you live alone, deodorant is a waste of
> good money.
> - Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a social no-no,
> as they tend to detract from a woman's jewelry and alter
> the taste of finger foods.
>
>
> Dating (outside the family)
>
> - Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first date.
> - Be aggressive. Let her know you're interested: "I've been
> wanting to go out with you since I read that stuff on the
> bathroom wall two years ago."
> - Establish with her parents what time she is expected back.
> Some will say 10:00 PM; Others might say "Monday." If the
> latter is the answer, it is the man's responsibility to get
> her to school on time.


Redneck    Posted 05-29-2004 at 17:32:34       [Reply]  [No Email]
Tell it sister!


ErnieD    Posted 05-29-2004 at 17:29:41       [Reply]  [No Email]
I was at the John Deere dealer getting parts, two women were there on a similar mission. One was examining her hands, saying sure is a lotta grease and oil under the nails-- time for a batch of home made bread!!!


dale anne    Posted 05-29-2004 at 11:27:13       [Reply]  [No Email]
right on kelly....ask thems names befer shooting them that way at night when ya cant see can tells wheres them be in order to aim....good gal...gonna save me some ammo with that rule lol....dale anne


Clod    Posted 05-29-2004 at 09:33:35       [Reply]  [No Email]
Now,,Kelly,,That hits kinda close to home there gal,,,,,,


deadcarp    Posted 05-29-2004 at 10:59:36       [Reply]  [No Email]
I once discovered a handy rule all by myself: If you're in the habit of hacking goobers at your side mirror, always make sure the pickup's moving first. boy - jeez - aw man! :)




YUCK!!    Posted 05-29-2004 at 11:05:10       [Reply]  [No Email]
....I need to remember not to read these while eating lunch.
~Lenore ... who is not so hungry now


deadcarp    Posted 05-29-2004 at 11:13:12       [Reply]  [No Email]
ha ha - well i figure i have a choice - and as bad as spitting is, that way i only have to deal with it once. hee hee


Clod    Posted 05-29-2004 at 11:10:15       [Reply]  [No Email]
After reading Dead Carps post I went looking to find my sack of peanuts.


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