Posted 07-01-2004 at 07:45:58
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...the Happy Bunny Slippers.
"Jenny?" I called from the desk in the dining room.
"Yeah?" Feigned interest from the couch in the living room.
"Was one of your Happy Bunny slippers missing an eye yesterday?"
"Noooo..." Said with just a hint of...'and it better not be now, either.' Her interest seemed somewhat peaked, but not enough to come and check out Happy Bunny's welfare.
Because I am bigger/stronger/older/smarter, and I paid for the dammed Happy Bunny slippers out of my own pocket, I hastily assured her that indeed it was missing an eye now. Besides, a thing like that is easily fixed. She sighed a deep rattling sigh, the kind only a thirteen year old girl can master properly, and then...
"You just had to let that stupid puppy in, didn't you?"
I didn't answer, but deftly whisked the slipper away from the Raisin, making a mental note to pick up a new button 'eye' at Walmart. It was then that I noticed that the whiskers from the same slipper were also missing. Crap. The couch springs squeaked a bit and I held my breath. Was she coming in here? I really didn't want her to see the mauled slipper until I had a plan of repair in mind. And yes I did, 'just have to let the puppy in'. She's a wimp, and she was getting her butt kicked all over the pasture by the other dogs, and I love her sweet little golden-brown face with the intelligent green eyes, and want to protect her.
"Raisin, you're bad to the bone." I whispered to the puppy. "This is the thanks I get for pulling your rump out of the fire?" She thumped the floor with her tail. I went back to my typing, Jenny went back to her music videos. Raisin whined and then disappeared into the bedroom.
"How bad is it?" Jenny asked from the living room.
"How bad is what?" I asked, already forgetting about the devastated slipper.
"Oh...well, let me put it this way. If it were a living, breathing bunny, it would be bleeding to death as we speak."
I looked up just in time to see Raisin sneaking in with the Happy Bunny slippers's 'sole' mate, and I snatched it away, noting that this one, was beyond any hope of repair. I got a knot in my stomach.
Jenny's Happy Bunny slippers are her trademark, and are really the only endearing thing about her early in the morning, as she is not a morning person. If Jenny is ever going to commit a murder, it will be between the hours of six and nine a.m. because that's the time of day when the devil has full possession of her soul. I had fifteen more minutes at least before her ability to reason and some semblance of conscience kicked in.
I sighed out loud. I had found these Happy Bunny slippers on sale sixty miles away, two Christmases ago. Right across the front in bold black print they say, 'it's all about me...get over it'. That should give you some clue to this child's morning personality. I'm not even sure they make them anymore, and I was already deep in despair about ever being able to replace them.
"Yeah?" The couch squeaked again, so I talked fast.
"You know that DVD you've been wanting? What was it...scissor paper cutter, or whatever?"
"Edward ScissorHands." She corrected.
"Oh yeah, that. Well, I thought we might pick that up at Walmart today."
"Reeeaaallly? You re going to get it for me?" Excitement was soon replaced with suspicion. "How come?"
"Well, you've been a good girl...and I, well, I love you, you know? I just love you so..."
"She got the other one didn't she?"
"It must be really bad, if you're going to buy me that movie."
"You don't want to see. It's gruesome."
The clock just chimed nine. I'm safe.
"If she gets a hold of my sneakers, can I get new ones?"