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When Johnny Comes Marching Home.............
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New-Gen    Posted 07-13-2004 at 16:14:22       [Reply]  [No Email]
For those of you who might be thinking of that little brat named Johnny who's constantly antagonizing his teachers,no, this isn't where this is headed.
The Johnny in this story is a retired guy we hired a few years ago when we needed some extra help for harvest one year. He was a local guy who worked for farmers parttime to supplement his retirement income. Any farmer who ever hired him would tell you the same thing: "Good worker, just don't pi$$ him off, cause he can get quite obstinant". They would also say that it was just about impossible to NOT pi$$ him off!!
We got along fine for about a week, then one morning things took a decided downhill slide.
Since he liver only two miles from me, when we were working at the farther away farms I would pick him up at his house.
On this particular morning I puled in his driveway and noticed tha the wasn't waiting for me on the front porck as usual. When I knocked on the door I was greeted by his long suffering wife, who invited me in.
Johnny was a little short chubby bald headed guy with a walrus moustache an dlambchop sideburns.
He was seated at the kitchen table with a five fingered deathgrip on a big spoon, eating Cheerios out of what looked like a small mixing bowl. Parked in front of him was a large ecomnomy sized box of Cheerios and tall picher of milk. Adding to the caracature was the fact that either the chair was too low or the table was too high {or maybe a combination of both}
Then the conversation started:
NG: Hi Johnny! Bout ready to go?
Johnny: I'm not riding with you today.
NG: Why not??
Johnny: Cause I don't like tattletales!
NG: I'm with ya there Johnny, I don't either.
Johnny: Well then why did you act like one yesterday??
NG:???????
Johnny: You can't tell me you never got on the wrong rows combining!!!
NG:???????
Johnny: You just had to tell your Dad I got on the wrong rows and try to make me look bad didn't you!!!
NG:???????
Johnny: You didn't think I saw you guys driving across the end rows counting the rows did you??
NG:???????
Johnny: Don't try to lie your way out of it!!
NG:???-----LIGHTBULB OVER THE HEAD--finally figured out what he was talking about--{whew}
Uh, Johnny. We were counting the rows to try to figure out how many more loads we would have--we never even gave a though twhether you were on the wrong rors or right rows, as long as you weren't on the neighbors rows we were perfectly happy!
Johnny: Yeah right! Well I'm not riding with you!! And that's that!!
At this point I had to leave. Not because his little fit particularly bothered me, but because all through the conversation, I was fighting back uncontrollable laughter at the previously described sight!! And the more he talked, the funnier it looked, until I just had to get out of there before I busted out laughing and really got him going!!
Long suffering Mrs. Johnny let me out, rolling her eyes at the whole thing.
Then for the rest of the day, this dang song was stuck in my head:
"When Johnny comes marching home again Hurrah"
"When Johnny comes marching home again Hurrah! Hurrah!"
"We'll pour him a bowl of Cheerios"---
"Then we'll go and count the rows!"
"Dada da da da da da da da da"
{Never finished that last verse}


KellyGa    Posted 07-14-2004 at 06:27:24       [Reply]  [No Email]
Very well told, and funny! Bet he felt stupid, even more than he really was, lol. Poor sap...lol


Anvil    Posted 07-14-2004 at 04:02:04       [Reply]  [No Email]
I approves this message!
LMAO!


Chas in Me    Posted 07-13-2004 at 18:52:08       [Reply]  [No Email]
I really like the way you described him sitting at the table. Kinda like an overgrown kid.
Great story, thanks.
Charles


Alias    Posted 07-13-2004 at 17:25:32       [Reply]  [No Email]
Oh, man!! that's a good one. You sure have the knack for making my day.....Thanks.......gfp


Les    Posted 07-13-2004 at 17:12:31       [Reply]  [No Email]
Haardehar. ROFLMAO! Takes all kinds, don't it!
";^)


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