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Country Discussion Topics
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WORK RULES !!!
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DD    Posted 08-07-2004 at 10:55:43       [Reply]  [No Email]
Hmmmm...I wonder how many of us workin folks will see our own employers in this?




>TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

>

>FROM: MANAGEMENT

>

>

>Dear Staff,

>

>It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada sneakers and carrying a Gucci Bag we assume that you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise.

>

>If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes and therefore you do not need a raise.

>

>If you dress in-between, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

>

>

>PERSONAL DAYS:

>

>Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year.

>They are called Saturday and Sunday.

>

>

>LUNCH BREAKS:

>

>Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy.

>

>Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.

>

>Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast and take a diet pill

>

>

>SICK DAYS:

>

>We will no longer accept a doctor statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

>

>

>RESTROOM USE:

>

>Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom.

>There is now a strict 3-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offender" category.

>

>

>SURGERY:

>

>As long as you are employee here, you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment.

>

>

>Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplation, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere


This could sound like a bunch of work places that I've heard of...LOL!


Alvin NE WI    Posted 08-07-2004 at 17:29:18       [Reply]  [No Email]
sounds like it came from a Heinz catsup factory


New-Gen    Posted 08-07-2004 at 13:57:57       [Reply]  [No Email]
Which one of Kathy Lee Gifford's sweat shop bulletan boards did you steal THAT one from?!?!? LOL


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