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Country Discussion Topics
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Little Johnny Jokes
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DD    Posted 09-14-2004 at 09:14:39       [Reply]  [No Email]
A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!"

After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The
teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?"

"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"

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Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother
smoothed cold cream on her face. "Why do you do that, mommy?" he asked.

"To make myself beautiful," said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue.

"What's the matter?" asked Little Johnny. "Giving up?"


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A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago, that He grew up, etc.

So he asked his class, "Where is Jesus today?"

Steven raised his hand and said, "He's in heaven."

Mary was called on and answered, "He's in my heart."

Little Johnny, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, "I know! I know! He's in our bathroom!!!"

The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher, and waited for a response. The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds. Finally, he gathered his wits and asked Little Johnny how he knew this.

Little Johnny said, "Well...every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells, "Jesus Christ, are you still in there?!"

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The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said, "Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?"

Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network!"

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At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny, a child in the kindergarten class, seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs.

Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and said, "Johnny, what is the matter?"

Little Johnny responded, "I have a pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife."
^^^(my personal favorite)
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Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field
trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. "Yes," said the policeman. "The detectives want very badly to capture him."

Little Johnny asked, "Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?"



Jet9N (Political)    Posted 09-14-2004 at 09:58:31       [Reply]  [No Email]
Little Johnny announced in class that he was for
George W. Bush. His teacher asked why. He said,
"my mommy is for him and so is my dad".
Teacher asked,"are you just like your parents in
all things, for instance if your father was an idiot
and your mother was a moron, what would you be?"
"For Kerry?" he asked. LOL

Jet


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