Posted 11-18-2004 at 04:28:44
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...ready or not.
I had my eyes open for roughly thirty-six seconds this morning when Jenny trapped me in the hall between the bedroom and bathroom.
"Yeah?" Blink, blink.
"Did you know that polar bears are lefthanded?"
"Go get your coffee Mom, I'll tell you later."
While pouring my coffee, Fred came breezing by.
"Hey, did you know that Cory was here?"
"Who's Cory?" I asked sincerely.
"I'm going to go finish getting ready for work," he said, frowning slightly. "I'll be back in a minute, after you've had some coffee."
The coffee did help me remember that Cory is one of Jake's huntin' buddies, so I was ready for Fred when he got back.
"Where's he at?" I asked Fred, who seemed a bit relieved that my mind had kicked in.
"He's in Jake's room. I gotta go. See you tonight."
I went to Jake's room and flipped on the light. Even good strong black coffee did not prepare me for the sight of two half-grown men sharing a twin bed. Big old hairy ankles sticking out from under the covers, snoring, and wheezing, the box springs bowed under the weight of two big ol' teenage boys.
"Awww...ain't this sweeeet?" I drawled.
They were tucked together like two spoons in a drawer. If I didn't know them better I would have been a little worried. Jake was behind Cory, his chin on Cory's shoulder, a small puddle of drool dampening Cory's shirt sleeve.
"Hey!" I said. "How is Cory getting to school? He can't ride the bus with you, he doesn't have permission."
When the light hit them, they reacted like roaches on a kitchen counter top, they scooted apart and then hid under the covers.
"Cut the light off!" Jake demanded. "I'll be blind for life!"
"Look, I don't have to work today so I ain't going to town. That means you two girls have a problem. See ya."
It was Jenny again.
"You know what I've noticed?"
"Now that it's getting cooler, that rooster doesn't crow so early anymore."
"Oh, that's good. What's Girl doing in the house?"
"She was whining at the door, I thought she was cold so I let her in."
"Mom!" Jake came stumbing out of his bedroom clutching a blanket around his shoulders. "Can't you drive us?"
"What's in it for me?"
"What do you want?" He asked.
"First, I want you to stop taking things for granted. If you'd asked me last night I would have told you that I wasn't going to town this morning."
"Mooooom!!!" It was a piercing scream. "I stepped on a tack!"
The tack was imbedded in the ball of her foot, the shaft buried about halfway in the soft pink flesh. I yanked it out before she had a chance to object and a small dot of bright red blood oozed out of the little puncture wound.
"I think it hit my jugular!" Jenny moaned.
"For it to have hit your jugular, you would have had to have stepped on it with your neck." I informed her. She giggled.
"Well that's silly. I don't walk on my neck."
"That's not all, is it." Jake wanted to know. His mouth drooped a bit at the corners. "What else do I have to do?"
"I want the back porch cleaned off when you get home from school."
"Deal." He seemed relieved, leading me to believe I could have gotten more.
"Do we have any bandaids?" Jenny asked, examining the wound, which had stopped bleeding by now.
"Don't we always? In the bathroom in the medicine kit."
She limped off to dress her wound, moaning and whining every step of the way, and Jake disappeared into his room where I heard him threatening Cory with physical harm if he didn't get up and get ready for school.
Girl and I sat and stared at each other across the living room. She whined.
"I know what you mean." I said, and her tail went to thumping the floor.
I sighed and got up and fed her, leaving my half empty cup of coffee behind, hoping that at some point in the near future, I would get to finish it.