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To add your comments to this topic, click on one of the 'Reply' links below.

What Would Y'all Have Done?
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KellyGa    Posted 11-18-2004 at 15:28:47       [Reply]  [No Email]
For me to tell the whole story, I must tell it from last night, so I will.

Shelby is a straight A student. She has always gotten the Cougar Award every year, the Principals Honor Roll along with the regular Honor Roll. She is a perfectionist. Always has been since she was a baby. She used to "organize" her toys on the floor. If there were blocks, pop beads, and stuffed toys, she would categorize them in seperate stacks. Things like that. Its just a trait of hers.

This trait has carried over to school, and if she accidently forgets something, or slips up and doesn't do so well on a test (which is rare) you would think the world was coming to an end. Tears are flowing, whining commences, panic insues. She prides herself on her good grades and good conduct, and rightly so.

So...last night, as she was doing her mounds of homework, she discovered she had accidently forgotten to pull her math homework sheet out of her desk and put it in her binder. Before she started to panic, I cut her off and reassured her we would handle it. I told her we would leave a little early and she could go in and get it done before the bell rang and class started. They don't let the students in the classrooms until 7:30, so from then she would have 25 minutes to do it, plenty of time. BUT......

As fate would have it, we caught a train, a very slow, very long train. So, we were not doing so well on time anymore. On top of this, as we are sitting there, she remembers she has left her stick puppet of George Washington at home that goes with her biography report that they will start soon as the bell rings. Doody...well...okay...

This day was not going so smooth so far...but, sometimes you just have days like this.

So, I told her we would do this. I told her we would pull up, she would get out, go in and get her math sheet. It was now 7:37. I told her to come back out, get in the truck, and we would go get her puppet while she did her math homework in the truck. I would just have to check her in when we got back. I knew the teacher would not allow her to do the math homework at this late date. (They have morning work to do from the time they hit the door.) So, thats what we did.

We got back to the school at about 8:30 am, and when I went to check her in, there was some commotion and comment. One of the secretaries made a comment, asked who she was, I said Shelby, she said in what class, I told her, she made mention that some boy in her class (he was the only one sitting in there when she went in to get her math sheet)had said something to the teacher and there was some commotion about it. I just dismissed it and told Shelby to get on to her class.

Now...we come to this afternoon, I pick her up, she gets in the truck, she says she has had a bad day. :( Hmmm...ok, how come? It usually takes a few minutes to drag it out of her. She said her teacher and her math teacher had pulled her to the side and talked to her several times throughout the day about what she did. I said What did you do? She said her teachers were upset with her because she didn't have her homework ready, but more upset because she came in before school and got it and left, did it and then came back. I said WHAT????? This was beginning to get under my skin.

So...I picked up my cell phone and called the school. I told them I would like to speak to her teacher if she was still there. SHe came on the phone a few minutes later. Here is the conversation.

Me: Hi there, I just wanted to speak to you about what happened this morning. If anyone is to be in trouble it would be me. Shelby was only doing what she was told by her mother, me. She is not going to disobey me for any reason. I told her to go in and get the math sheet, and then she did it in the truck while we went to get something else she forgot that she needed at home.

Her Teacher: Well, you see, we were in quite a panic after a litle while. We were really worried. A student made mention he saw Shelby this morning, that he knew she was at the school. I sent several dependable student to look for her in the library, in the bathroom, in the nurses station. I was trying to figure out if I had told her she could go do something earlier this morning, but I couldn't think of anything. When she chekced in, we were all relieved, but when I looked at the check in slip there was no explanation other than that she was late.

Me: Well, I guess I could say you should have called me, and that would have saved everybody a lot of worry. She was with me. She tells me you and her math teacher talked with her several times about "what she did". What exactly did she DO?

Her Teacher: Well, yes, we did speak with her throughout the day to try and calm her and reassure her. We have a strict policy, its in the School Handbook, that once a student has entered the building they are not to leave, and in the afternoon, they are not permitted back in the building after they leave unless they are accompanied by an adult and chekc in with the principal, its all in the handbook.

Me: What did she do that you needed to talk to her?

Her Teacher: Well, you see, we try to prepare our students for the way things would be out in the real world. I would have much rather her have come in and just been honest with us and tell us that she forgot her homework and didn't do it.

Me: Well, then she would have recieved an F, and she nor I wanted that!

Her Teacher: Yes, well, my son goes here and he is in the fourth grade also, and if he forgets something he knows he is going to get the third degree from me when we get home, but I also make him suffer the consequences for forgetting his homework or not doing what he is supposed to. I believe that is the right way to teach them, don't you Mrs. Corley? That way when they get out into the real world they will be better prepared for how things work. Besides, with her being a straight A student, it would not have affected her grade average to recieve one F.

ME: (Getting ticked off now) Well, I guess so. I just wanted you to know it was me, and she was only doing what she was told.
You might have thought it was all okay by the end of the day, but she wa still very upset.

Her Teacher: Well, thats why we talked to her through out the day and told her it was wrong what she did, and she should just have been honest.

Me: Okay, well, thankyou for your time. I just wanted to clear up any misunderstanding about what happened.

Teacher: Okay, anytime I can help.


B*tch...who does she think she is? (Under my breath)

So, we get home, I go in, tell Ian the tale. Well, it turns out, surprisingly, he is with me on this one.

He gets mad, tell Shelby not to worry about what they said. He told her what do they know about the real world, if they wanted to know a thing or two about the real world, they could come talk to him.

Ian: So, what she is saying is, if she doesnt have her lesson plan ready in time the night before, the kids shouldn't have to do any work that day..hmmmm, no, in the real world, she would come into work early!

Ian again: So, she is saying that Shelby wouldnt have had repurcusions for not doing her work and telling them the truth, NO, she would have made an F!

Ian Again: Well, you tell her I am sorry, but we are not going to allow Shelby to have an F if we can help it. She is a straight A student, she knows her work, and we are not going to allow it to slip to a B to "teach" her a lesson about the "real world".

Ian to Shelby: You wanna know about the real world girlie? I will tell you about the real world. If your behind, you go in early and catch up. You do what ever it takes to keep yourself in line. You know what happens if you don't get it done? You get fired if it happens enough. Don't listen to them, you do what you have to do to make good grades, you do just fine.

He said I should go over her head. I said I will if the occasion arises again.

I looked up the handbook online. There is nothing in there about any of that.

steve19438    Posted 11-19-2004 at 12:32:13       [Reply]  [Send Email]
since we only heard one side of the story...
anywho, you seem to have a problem when anything doesn't go your way and you have a problem with authority figuers. slam me, i don't care!

Rowdy Yates    Posted 11-20-2004 at 14:57:38       [Reply]  [No Email]
Teachers are only in it for the $50,000+ a year and most of the year off. They are not interested in your childs welfare, maybe I shouldn't say "all", but I will give it a 97%. I have known my sons 2nd and 3rd grade teachers outside of the school system years prior too them being my sons teachers, and I'll have to say that they have no business teaching anyones children. Or do they?....after all they have a piece of paper that says they are qualified!! What a joke!!! The way it's set up now with the "No Child Left Behind Crap", no one needs any education to be a teacher......they are told what and how to teach! They sure are leaving alot more kids behind now than they ever have. Makes no difference how good your kids do in school anyway, they could be the smartest kid in the county, and where are they going to get a job?, telemarketing?, Walmart? Public schools are a joke! Something needs to be done. But what do ya do? Do ya go and raise cane with them, so they can in turn take it out on your child because his/her parent is bucking the system? Or do ya wait until your child is out of school and then raise cane?, no, because by that time your relieved that you no longer have children in their worthless schools and really don't want to or have the need to deal with it anymore.................that's why they get away with whatever they want!!!!

KellyGA....Did they ever try to call you to see where your child was?? You asked "what would you do"? Well, I'd have told the teacher that if they ever treat my child that way again, that I will be out to deal with it myself, possibly off school property! I definitely would go way above their heads and make them think the sky was falling.

Can ya tell that I'm fed up with the schools too??


New-Gen    Posted 11-18-2004 at 20:52:30       [Reply]  [No Email]
"Those wo can, do."
"Those who can't, teach"

Rickstir    Posted 11-19-2004 at 03:58:15       [Reply]  [No Email]
There are those of us who run a technology department of a liberal arts college that consistanly performs above the curve in supplying the needed technology for a world-wide constituency; and also teach these traits to students in undergraduate, MBA and internet classes.

New-Gen    Posted 11-19-2004 at 06:27:30       [Reply]  [No Email]
Don't take it personally, my comment wasn't meant as an attack on the good ones.
However, unfortunatly, in MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE, the majority of the teachers I HAVE DEALT WITH fall into the catagory I put them in in my original post.
I have the UTMOST RESPECT for those exceptions to the rule, and I have dealt with a few good ones.

Patria    Posted 11-18-2004 at 17:54:41       [Reply]  [No Email]
You did what you had to stood by your daughter. [hope it sounds like I meant it to]

KellyGa    Posted 11-18-2004 at 17:57:59       [Reply]  [No Email]
Hey Patria! Yep, I will always stand by and up for her. Thanks for the supportive words. :) Saw where y'all are without water, man that really bites. I hope they get it fixed for y'all real soon.

Fawteen    Posted 11-18-2004 at 17:07:16       [Reply]  [No Email]
I'd have gone postal. This whole "it takes a village to raise a child" line of bullcrap just makes me nuts.

The teachers job is to teach the kid readin', writin' and 'rithmatic, it's MY job to raise 'em. I can't begin to tell you how glad I am that my kids are grown and out of reach of these touchy-feely, ivory-tower, rainbow coalition embrace diversity morons they have running the schools these days.

Sometime when you've got a minute, I'll tell you how I REALLY feel...

Cindi    Posted 11-19-2004 at 10:41:07       [Reply]  [No Email]
Fawteen (how ya been) I like to think that the "village" sentiment applies to behavior issues. I do believe that a parent can't have too many extra sets of eyes.

Now, I think the teachers made a mountain out of a molehill. However, I can see how they would get upset if they had known that Shelby had been there earlier and now was "unaccounted for". Even so, I don't think administration can be held responsible for a child gone missing that has not been officially marked present. Just because another child has said that she had been there is not grounds to ruin Shelby's entire day.

I'm sorry but I do believe that in the real world we get behind and the GOOD ONES make an effort to fix it. There's nothing wrong with what either of you did, in my opinion.

KellyGa    Posted 11-18-2004 at 17:20:56       [Reply]  [Send Email]
Hey Fawteen, heres my email up there if ya wanna vent with me, lol.

I have to tell you something. The whole reason I got Shelby in long time ago over in that county is because it was still small town mentality. Everybody was nice to everybody. NObody worried about anything cause everybody was gonna look after one another. Well, Henry County is like one of the top growing counties in the nation...and its starting to show, starting to rear its ugly head. Never used tohear about this county on the news, now...almost eery night. SOmebody did something bad, something wrong, killed somebody, molested somebody, always something. I don't remember if I posted it, I think I did, but, some kid brought a gun to school, her school, who would have thunk it??? The kids in that area used to seem to show a lot of common sense and good judgement, but now, there are a lot of imports coming from Atlanta and all around. Sigh.....thats okay, we are moving to Cedartown...sooon...I hope, on 31 acres, and home schooling will be our new way of doing things. Shelby is fed up, she is ready for it, and soon.

Fawteen    Posted 11-18-2004 at 17:50:07       [Reply]  [No Email]
I worked as a contract computer/network support weenie for the local K-12 school system for 7 years. As an old faht who got his schoolin' in the 50's and 60's, I was APPALLED at the way things are done these days.

In fact, it got so bad I couldn't stand it anymore, and I traded a $20/hr job for a $10/hr job to get away from it.

Second smartest thing I've ever done...

KellyGa    Posted 11-18-2004 at 17:53:12       [Reply]  [No Email]
Well, what was the first smartest thing you ever did? :) I think I was just born in the wrong era. I have more friends off of here that I see eye to eye with, that are almost twice my age, and I love them all dearly!!! I can relate, and I don't have a clue cause I wasnt even born then, but I can relate.

Fawteen - Oh, and...    Posted 11-18-2004 at 18:11:37       [Reply]  [No Email]
I hear ya about being born in the wrong era. I shoulda been born about 1920. Assuming I survived WW-II, I'da been the happiest man on the planet being a farmer in the 50's and 60's.

Then again, maybe that's just nostalgia talking...

Fawteen    Posted 11-18-2004 at 18:05:47       [Reply]  [No Email]
I just took a quick inventory, and I'll have to downgrade that decision to #3.

#1 - Marrying SWMBO. Saved my life, literally.

#2 - Staying in the Navy and collecting my retirement. Having that pension check at 40 gave me the freedom to do a lot of things I otherwise wouldn't have had the opportunity to do. Including taking a 50% pay cut to save my sanity...

Patria    Posted 11-18-2004 at 18:20:05       [Reply]  [No Email]
Hey Fawteen, last week I was driving my daughter to school and saw in dumpster[?} a really nice wood bench that somebody got rid off. Thought right away about a pic you posted in another forum of one you were restoring for a lady friend. When I went back there it was gone. Besides, it wouldn't have fit in my Lanos car.

Lloyd Strickland    Posted 11-18-2004 at 16:56:16       [Reply]  [Send Email]
Hello Kelly, I am from Ga. also. I visit here every night to see whats going on but have never replied. Don't let these teachers ruin your daughter. They don't know it all. My daughter was selected for the new quest program when she was in junior high. This was supposed to be gifted kids that could leave regular class and travel to other locations for supposedly higher learning. Her regular teacher so resented this quest program that she refused to give her the homework asignments for the days she was gone. This made her life so misierable we withdrew her from the program but the damage was done. She lost interest in school and barely got by in High school. She turned out great, got a colledge degree and is doing very well. Our son had dislexia and could not write well or spell. He knew the answers if you asked him but could not take a test. One English teacher in high school said he would never go to college and should be put in the slow class. My wife went on the warpath and I thought there was going to be a killing at school. The result was he stayed in regular class but with a tutor. His next english teacher thought he was gifted and published several of his articles in the county paper. After one quarter in college they put him in honors english. Today he is the man in charge of promotions for cartoon network. He has been to Skywalker Ranch and shaken the hand of George Lucas. He still can't spell but with computors and secretarys what difference does it make. I guess my point here is don't let these teachers do something that you think is not right for your kid. Don't let them call the shots because they are not perfect either.

ron,ar    Posted 11-18-2004 at 17:59:22       [Reply]  [No Email]
Our school system was "forced" to ditch the quest program after it's details and effects were leaked to the local newspaper. It took about three months of heated school board meetings, some lasting until 2 and 3 AM but we got rid of it. The phrase "eternal vigilence is the price of freedom" does not apply only to national defense. Some of our worsts threats are local threats close to home and affect our personal privacies.

KellyGa    Posted 11-18-2004 at 17:14:45       [Reply]  [No Email]
Well hey there Lloyd! Good to see a fellow southerner here! :) Where abouts in GA are you? I am in the awful dreadful overcrowded, crime ridden....CLAYTON COUNTY!!!! THE HORROR!!! LOL! My daughter goes to Henry County schools though, I swung that a long time ago. Wasnt going to have her going here. But, now things are changing over there too. Not for the better. They already have two trailers for school rooms, I don't like that. I hate to say it, but a bunch of ninny women are running the whole school. No men on staff. Some of the good teachers are gone that we liked so much. Some of the seasonal activities are no more that we enjoyed.

If you know me from reading on here, you know I don't take nothing off nobody! I am not quite as fiesty as I used to be, have to maintain some sort of appearance that I am not completely shot out of the frame, lol.

This teacher is the one that bullyed her last year about her rolling bookbag. Don't know if you saw that post, it was a while back. She was nothing more than a teacher putting her in the car in the afternoon, but she had to constantly tell her she couldnt have a rolling bookbag. I said that was crap, half the school has them. IN the "handbook" it says they prefer you to not have them. They claim it makes kids trip in the hall and on the buses. Yeah...they extend SO far out, NOT! They are just full of it. The school used to be nice and small townish. Now, with all the growth, it is just getting crazy.

OH, and I am originally from Columbus GA. :)

Oh, and WELCOME TO THE BOARD!!!! DOn't be a stranger now, ya hear? ;)

Salmoneye    Posted 11-18-2004 at 17:09:41       [Reply]  [No Email]
Welcome Lloyd...

Don't be bashful in the Future...

jeanette    Posted 11-18-2004 at 16:22:17       [Reply]  [No Email]
fourth grade? your poor sweet daughter is under that much pressure in fourth grade, holy cow no wonder she was upset.

Melanie    Posted 11-18-2004 at 15:59:38       [Reply]  [No Email]
That has to be the most ridiculous logic I have ever heard. Of course, the way the school system is going anyway, I am not surprised. That teacher is an idiot. One phone call to the parent would have cleared everything up nicely. And that's another thing... why didn't they call you? Seems to me that's the very first thing that teacher should have done.
But whatever. You have my wholehearted agreement, Kelly. Good job, mom.

KellyGa    Posted 11-18-2004 at 16:11:12       [Reply]  [No Email]
I guess they were afraid to call me! Afraid they had lost my child. It seems every year that passes I get more and more frustrated with the teachers. I got to prepare for homeschooling. I think Shelby could learn at a quicker more efficient pace at home anyway. Thanks for the words of support!

Zenia    Posted 11-18-2004 at 15:58:29       [Reply]  [No Email]
I'd be livid, and I agree with you 100%... but there's flies and honey. I can also understand why the teacher was upset, because a student showed up and then disappeared without explanation; setting off a panic. I think an explanation would have been better. However, it is ridiculous and assinine for the teachers to grill Shelby over the homework. And, it was beyond rude and inexcusable for the teacher to be condescending and suggesting how you ought to parent. You obviously have a very conscientious girl. Sounds to me like she was imposing her personal issues, and does not sound like the way she handles it with her own kid works.

KellyGa    Posted 11-18-2004 at 16:13:54       [Reply]  [No Email]
Yeah, I know they were panicking. I know they are just looking out for the safety of the kids. What ticks me off is they go and grill her, when they should be coming to me with the issue, whether it was my idea or hers. But, what do I know? I am just MAMA! I told her teacher she will always do what I say over ANYBODY. That is the way she has been brought up, and thats the way it should be. Thanks for the kind words :)

Melanie    Posted 11-18-2004 at 16:05:54       [Reply]  [No Email]
Oh, I have been condescended to by just about every teacher my daughter has ever had... but it's funny, the kids whose parents' butts got smooched by those same catty bee-eye-tee-charlies aren't in the Talented and Gifted magnet school now, and my girl is. Huh. Funny how that works, innit? ;)

Salmoneye    Posted 11-18-2004 at 15:47:12       [Reply]  [No Email]
I can't believe I am going to use this line, but...

You Go Girl

KellyGa    Posted 11-18-2004 at 15:49:48       [Reply]  [No Email]
Ohhhh know what, I am flattered more than you know. Thanks...means a lot coming from you. :)

Salmoneye    Posted 11-18-2004 at 16:01:07       [Reply]  [No Email]
I admire that you and Ian were so controled, as I would have chewed em a new one for talking to my kid that way over nothing...I mean, if the kid DID do something that deserved a chewing out, then by all means go for it...However, this just seems like such a non-issue...

Real world?... My Butt...

KellyGa    Posted 11-18-2004 at 16:07:19       [Reply]  [No Email]
Thanks, I am learning not to go crush peoples skulls in Ian has always been more controlled than I. One of the things that ticked me off is they were asking her what was wrong, that she seemed extra upset lately. They kept trying to analyze her! There was nothing wrong! She said she didnt know what to say to them. She just told them I was looking for a job, which does bother her a bit, but it had nothing to do with this! They just kept on and on, wouldn't let it go. According to the teacher, they were just trying to help her. All they did ws keep digging intot he would THEY inflicted!!! GRRR!

I have got to check into home schooling, Shelby is ready and so am I!

toolman/wellll    Posted 11-18-2004 at 17:37:01       [Reply]  [No Email]
i dunno miss kelly, i think you should of went right on down to the school and gave her a big hug maybe a kiss and thanked her///just before you smacked her facein and knocked her on her big fat a$$.BTW i have good news to tell you and something to remember.later k

KellyGa    Posted 11-18-2004 at 17:43:34       [Reply]  [No Email]
LMAO! You about made me swallow my gum toolman!!! Nah, see, I went and looked in the handbook to see if there was any restrictions on smacking the crap outta her, but there was. Says no teacher may be ridiculed in front of students or on school premises, dang...and I was so hoping. I am so glad she thinks she knows how my kid should be raised. Well, spill the beans already, I am a watchin my email! ;)

VADAVE    Posted 11-19-2004 at 10:27:03       [Reply]  [Send Email]
But there is no restriction about chewin' on her principal.

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