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EngineerJoyce    Posted 12-10-2004 at 07:59:24       [Reply]  [No Email]
Hubby wakes up at 7. By 7:30, all I've been able to accomplish is getting the 5 year old dressed. I send her off with Daddy, then I can get started on me and the 2 year old. If I got up a 6, I would still be at this stage when they left the house. Then it takes a half hour to an hour to get us ready and out the door. Heaven forbid the cows get our (like this morning!) And more mornings than not, one of the girls have balked, gotten a spanking, riled up everybody, and left the house crying.

Am I really bad at getting the day started, or is this common?

KellyGa    Posted 12-11-2004 at 06:36:13       [Reply]  [No Email]
I used to go through that. I made time for me in the mornings, I would get up at 5, fix coffee, watch the morning news, until 5:30, then get husband up, then daughter at 6. Gave me time to wake up. I have to credit Prozac for my calm and even behavior these days also, lol.

Zenia    Posted 12-10-2004 at 11:39:30       [Reply]  [No Email]
Totally normal!

Well... I do not have quite that problem, my pair of four year olds are boys. They care not a wit about their clothes, most of which are hand-me-downs, and the end of the line is here because my boys destroy their clothes before they outgrow them. I do have the dawdling problem at times, but mostly lately I get the "nooo mommy please don't go to work, I want to cuddle, 5 more minutes." Five minutes, "three more minutes!" Up at 5:30 - 6, out the door at 7:30....

I will admit that when they were two, a time or a few I put them to bed at night in the clothes they wore to day care the next morning. I am a single mom, getting a pair of two year olds up, dressed, fed and to day care by 7 am was quite the chore! I did better then than now, though. It was easier when I dressed them, now that they can dress themselves it takes lots of prompting and consistency.

I don't spank my kids, but I have been known to give ultimatums. No idle threats, I follow through. T, please put your pants/ shoes, etc. on. He dawdles. "T, it is time to go. If you do not put them on, I am going to put you in the car with no pants, and you can put them on at school." I did that once (not forcibly, mind you, I simply led him to the car), and it was cold out. Yes, he did cry. Now he puts them on, mostly. Toys? If I have to put them away myself without help, they are going in the garage for a week.

Do you have your daughters help pick out the clothes the night before? I find giving limited choices helps, too. E.g., do you want the pink shirt or the yellow one? This one, or that one? It gives the child a sense of some control, and independence.

I think there are lots of ways to address these issues without spanking. I am not criticizing you, you know your kids best and what works for your family. But is it really working? I just know being spanked did not work on me one bit when I was little, and I doubt it would work on my boys. But maybe you are talking more about an attention getting pat on the rump. I got whippings. It just drove me to hide all my faults.

I'm not trying to be preachy, but I read a great story once, I'll paraphrase. It was about a mother a few generations back, in a time when the phrase "spare the rod, spoil the child" was a lot more popular than it is these days. She did feel quite right about spanking her son, but one day when he was four years old, he did something that she thought was deserving of a spanking. She instructed him to go outside and get a willow switch, and bring it back for his punishment. He was gone a long while, but finally came back, stifling his tears. He said, "Mom, I could not find a switch, but I found this rock." You could throw it at me." The woman and her son sat down and cried together. She put the rock on her mantle, as a reminder that she never wanted to hurt her child. I do think that a small child doesn't understand that a spanking is supposed to teach them responsibility.

There was a post recently about a little brat who wrecked someone's new ax blade. The mom just sighed and did nothing. The kid grew up to be a criminal, not surprisingly. Now see, I would not have spanked the kid, but I would have brought him out to review the damage he had done, apologize, and pay for a new ax blade. I would buy the blade so the owner did not have to wait, but the kid would come with me to buy it, and pay me back every red penny of the cost. That IMO teaches discipline and responsibility. Spanking just teaches that I am bigger and stronger than him, and can make him do things. He already knows that.

I keep reminding myself, like a mantra - they are small for such a short amount of time.

BW    Posted 12-10-2004 at 08:04:31       [Reply]  [No Email]
Same here kids done want to get up to go to school , So daddy has to be the heavy and get them out of bed very loud start to school mornnings .... I know what you are talking about ...
Bill g.

EngineerJoyce    Posted 12-10-2004 at 08:09:37       [Reply]  [No Email]
Oh, she gets up just fine. She gets almost 10 hours of sleep every night. She wakes up with a smile and a "good morning". Then she doesn't like the clothes she picked out last night. Then her undies are too big, then her socks have a seam on the toes. I do believe we could paint her undies and socks onto her body and they would still bother her!

jeanette    Posted 12-10-2004 at 15:19:14       [Reply]  [No Email]
oh joyce i got one of those!!. once she told me her socks were on the wrong feet. over the years (she's 11) we've pretty much been able to stick with the clothes you lay out not always. i think it gets worse as they approch the teen years but you are more used to it by then.

Ron/PA    Posted 12-10-2004 at 09:11:19       [Reply]  [No Email]
Geeze Joyce, I don't understand the problem.
I work nights, Wife wakes me up when she gets home and I get ready and leave.
I wear the same outfits every night, jeans, and a denim shirt, all alike. Most days I don't like my clothes. Shorts have too much elastic, or too little, and I hate the socks that I buy with seams on the toes,, (Yeah I know what I wrote.)
The only difference is when I leave the house crying, it isn't because dad was taking me, it's because my wife finally whacked my and locked the door behind me.
Lady, I don't envy you, and as they reach the teen years, they will hold you up, changing clothes, and finally exclaim, "WELL I'M JUST TOO SWEATY FROM CHANGING, I'LL GO TAKE A SHOWER AND START OVER!!" There's a reason why they claim that insanity is hereditary, you get it from your kids.
Having said that, don't forget to be nice to the little darlings, someday they will choose your nursing home... LOL
have a better day on saturday.

EngineerJoyce    Posted 12-10-2004 at 10:54:27       [Reply]  [No Email]
Ron, Don't you DARE laugh at me! ;-) Hahaha! I gotta laugh. It's just too ridiculous not to laugh.
Yeah, Saturday should be better. Usually is.

My plan is to lock them both in their rooms in about 5 years. That should do it. yep.

RN    Posted 12-10-2004 at 16:37:18       [Reply]  [No Email]
Don't lock in rooms- get about 400 chickens- have kids feed, pick eggs, clean out chicken house with pitchfork besides hand milk a dozen cows as alternative to school. If want to stay hime from school or not do homework- father said OK, about 200 hogs at times to feed and clean up after besides do chicken and cow chores for brothers who did get on school bus. Older brother said Army was comparitve vacation after that, I got some better grades instead of cleaning chickenhouse. Keep the kids busy and let them earn some livestock money, have fun. RN

the best ............    Posted 12-10-2004 at 08:14:41       [Reply]  [No Email]
is yet to come! jeanette sez that when they reach 11 they will spend half their time looking at their boobies and getting even less done. Mebbe ya shoudda had all boys....all they do is mis-direct their guns in the bathroom...a lot. :^)


sdg    Posted 12-10-2004 at 08:36:58       [Reply]  [No Email]
I second that. My 12 year old boy is up and at em in the morn, my 10 year old daughter takes about 20-25 mins longer. same with the cloths, hates the ones she picked out the night before. then trys to come down half the time with clothes ment for every other season except this one. I know I wasn't this complex at that age. nor am I now. It takes me maybe 5 mins to get dressed put my hair up and out the door.

jeanette    Posted 12-10-2004 at 15:21:48       [Reply]  [No Email]
oh clipper that is so true. what's worse is some days she like thems and some days she don't.

Patria    Posted 12-10-2004 at 08:55:59       [Reply]  [No Email]
Choosing the right clothes for school here in PR is no problem. Both private and public school system students wear uniform, from head to toe.

But nothing is perfect, they still have to do their hair..

EngineerJoyce    Posted 12-10-2004 at 10:48:50       [Reply]  [No Email]
I wish I had a boy, but wishes don't always come true. Unless hubby changes his mind, I guess he will just have to be my little boy (as if THAT thought would help my case any!).

Any other time of day, we can go from lounging to changed and in the van in 15 to 30 minutes. There's just something about leaving the house first thing in the morning that creates a vacuum.

Jet9N    Posted 12-10-2004 at 11:10:46       [Reply]  [No Email]
I never regreted raising four boys and letting
someone else raise the girls. I gotta admit the
people that raised the girls did a good job. I
love the daughters-in law dearly. On difficult
days remember someday their future in-laws will
thank you for your efforts. Hang in there.


Patria    Posted 12-10-2004 at 14:04:37       [Reply]  [No Email]
aww Jet..that's a really nice thing to say.

Joyce, when I was raising my kids I was a stay at home mom. But, there was a time when I had a baby, a 13 year old boy who knew it all, and an 8 year old girl who wanted to know what her brother knew, and also to get the attention her baby sister had. So you see..I feel your pain, but we have all been there..nothing new under the sun ..kidswise.:-) just be patient, eh!

SusieQ    Posted 12-11-2004 at 03:09:37       [Reply]  [No Email]
I definitely agree Jet.....raising children, well it is a 24/7 job these days, and for folks, who are just starting out with families...GOOD LUCK, best thing is to remember: WHO IS IN CHARGE! WHO PAYS THE BILLS, WHO PROVIDES FOOD, SHELTER, AND YOU WILL GET ALONG JUST FINE........BE LOVING BUT FIRM............

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