Country Living
Country Living, Country Skills
Country People

KountryLife.com - A Country Living Resource and Community
Community
Message Board
Country Topics
Trading Post
Memory Lane
Country Skills
Country Cooking

Channels
Gardening
Livestock
The Kitchen
Machinery
Tools

Photographs
Photo Gallery
Vintage Photos
Special Collections

Fun
Country Humor
Country Sounds
Coloring Book
Interactive Story

Farm Tractors
Pictures
Tractor Parts
Tractor Manuals

Miscellaneous
Classic Trucks
Antique Tractors
Modern Tractors
Site Map
Links Page
Contact Us

  
Country Discussion Topics
To add your comments to this topic, click on one of the 'Reply' links below.

Advise,,what to do? , what to do ?, know what i Want to do!
[Return to Topics]

rhudson    Posted 05-12-2002 at 19:12:11       [Reply]  [Send Email]
this is going to be juvenile to you fellows, but as you might have noticed, i'm not the most suttle of people.

fellow down the road wants to burrow my backhoe to build a pond for fishing/water supply to his garden. i have surveyed the site and about 27,000 yards of soild would have to be moved to even make a 1/2 ac pond (very flat site). i tied ribbons on trees in the site to show him that the dam would have to be 275 feet long to get even a 4 foot height. i've tried to tell him that you cannot build a pond with a backhoe.

a neighborof his had a dozer over a year ago to do some work at $50/hour. The fellow down the road said "the operator was running the dozer too slow for his taste". so he would not hire him to work on a pond. the fellow has said he ran dozers in yearspast. He also brags about blowing up one dozer, getting others stuck, snicking off the job while letting pumps,etc. running unattended. in other words he one of these fellows that is carefull with his stuff but runs rough shod over others equipment. He still has the first tool i lent him 12 years ago. i have to go to his house to retreve EVERY tool i lend him.

easy decision you're thinking. The fellow is my father-in-law. Every get-to-gether we have in the extended family (about 2 per month) he will make statements like (guess i'll never get a pond, sure could use a watering hole, etc). I have a brother in law that sometimnes borrows me and my equipment for his business. My brother in law is the kind of fellow that brings equipment back cleaner/better that how i loaned it to him. This loaning to my brother in law and not my father in law has stoked my FIL's temper to the point that he will not speak to me at times. Today i skipped a family event to avoid him or possibly avoid something i would say.

i want to offer to pay 1/5 of cost of pond with my 4 brother-in-laws and let him pay the missing 1/5. and let him get on someones else's case for a while. i have not mentioned this idea as of yet.

If my dad was alive i would talk to him for comfort/advise but my hero died in 1985.

What to do? what to do? Know what i want to do, but i gotta live around here.

Thanks for listening.


Farmer wantabe    Posted 05-13-2002 at 10:56:36       [Reply]  [No Email]
Man I hate to get stuck in them situations. I had a crawler-loader that was big enough that I had to hire somebody to haul it around. In laws wanted to borrow it and just to keep peace in my house I told them to find a hauler and they could use it. It ticked them off when I wouldn't pay for the hauling but they really got ticked off when they found out it used 10 gallon of fuel an hour and I had no intention of donating fuel. The killer was when they burried it in the mud and expected me to hire somebody to pull it out. Just crying on your shoulder brother, been there-done that. No matter how you cut it they are going to be POed and you are going to be the bad guy if you don't let them use it. But it's going to cost you big bucks, now, or down the road for that kind of usage on a backhoe. They are wrong for putting you in this situation, you can take that to bed each night but you have to live with your wife. How is she taking it? If she will get over it tell your in-laws NO. I took the chicken's way out and sold my earth moving equipment and now hire my work done.


S.W. better have an oil well-    Posted 05-13-2002 at 13:15:53       [Reply]  [No Email]
Man alive, what kind of machine did you run? We had an old CAT D7 cable lift dozer that got better fuel usage then that! Oh my goodness...
By the way, how is that runnin path business going up there at yer place? Plant any of that poison sumac or bring in them mean Billys? Just wondered how you are doin with that R.R. right-away business I read about earlier- S.W.


Farmer wantabe    Posted 05-13-2002 at 14:48:05       [Reply]  [No Email]
It was a 977 Cat, liked to eat dirt, and fuel. The run'en path is going to get built, they are purchasing the right of way now, I 'spect I'll have some fun with them folk before its all said and done.


S.W. oh...    Posted 05-13-2002 at 20:56:03       [Reply]  [No Email]
Thanks fer answerin. Sorry to hear 'bout that path bizness. That 977 is one piece a work, huh?
Friend says "If it ain't a CAT it's a dawg." Hope it works out fer ya with them interloper types... S.W.


Sam    Posted 05-13-2002 at 10:56:00       [Reply]  [No Email]
I think you have the right idea of you and your 4 brother-in-laws paying 1/5 or 1/6 and mother-in-law paying too! It would be Fathers day, birthday,
Christmas also. You can rent a dozer and for help use the back hoe if it starts the day of the event.
It can be pond building day and all the wifes and daugthers and kids can be there to help and for the picnic. Also to keep him in line and the heat off you.


Whee dawgie    Posted 05-13-2002 at 12:58:18       [Reply]  [No Email]
Ain't no pond never been dug in a day like the one he has deeescribbed...


Sam    Posted 05-13-2002 at 10:55:30       [Reply]  [No Email]
I think you have the right idea of you and your 4 brother-in-laws paying 1/5 or 1/6 and mother-in-law paying too! It would be Fathers day, birthday,
Christmas also. You can rent a dozer and for help use the back hoe if it starts the day of the event.
It can be pond building day and all the wifes and daugthers and kids can be there to help and for the picnic. Also to keep him in line and the heat off you.


Tom A    Posted 05-13-2002 at 08:53:49       [Reply]  [Send Email]
Not juvenile at all. It's easy to say 'tell him to go jump in a pond' when you're not the one involved.

I agree with EIEIO as far as talking to your wife, as she's the *only* one whose feelings you need to care about. (As my wife says: when Momma ain't happy, then *nobody's* happy.)

If your wife says 'dad is out of line' then you can, with good conscience tell him so, and if he gets ticked off you don't really have to worry cuz you don't live with him. But if your wife says either 'yeah he's out of line but....' or 'just quit whining and do it...' then you're stuck with at least helping get it done. Then I'd think it is time to talk to the brothers, or one of the other suggestions. Somebody told *me* that your backhoe wasn't running very well and needed an overhaul...that true??

Good luck. Dealing with in-laws is not an easy job.


Trish    Posted 11-27-2002 at 13:30:40       [Reply]  [Send Email]
My brother in law is causing so much trouble in the family. We just moved from South Dakota to Alabama. The place we were going to stay fell through so with a heavey heart we stayed with my in laws. My brother in law doesn't do anything. Literally.. he doesn't even run his own bath water or make his own supper plate. His mother does. Well, thats there business. But Phillip (bro-in-law) doesn't bring his plates back into the kitchen. I had asked Steven my nephew who also shares a room with Phillip to bring in the dishes. Phiilip wasn't even in the room when I had asked him to do that. He went and told his mother that I am yelling at him and treating him like a child. I have never yelled at him. I hadn't even talked to him that whole night since I have been home. Phillip went to work and later called his mother and told her that he was jealous, because my kids get more attention from her then he does. My kids are 2 years old and 5 months old and she watches them while I go to work. Phillip is 34 years old. Well, my mother in law yelled at me for treating him badly and so forth. Nothing ever happened. Well, I don't know how to deal with Phillip or my mother in law. I have been so hurt I would just like to pack it al up and go back to South Dakota. Help?


Tom A    Posted 05-13-2002 at 08:52:37       [Reply]  [Send Email]
Not juvenile at all. It's easy to say 'tell him to go jump in a pond' when you're not the one involved.

I agree with EIEIO as far as talking to your wife, as she's the *only* one whose feelings you need to care about. (As my wife says: when Momma ain't happy, then *nobody's* happy.)

If your wife says 'dad is out of line' then you can, with good conscience tell him so, and if he gets ticked off you don't really have to worry cuz you don't live with him. But if your wife says either 'yeah he's out of line but....' or 'just quit whining and do it...' then you're stuck with at least helping get it done. Then I'd think it is time to talk to the brothers, or one of the other suggestions.

Good luck. Dealing with in-laws is not an easy job.


KM in MN    Posted 05-13-2002 at 07:40:30       [Reply]  [No Email]
2 more possibilities ($0.01 each)

1. Print out your original post several times (maybe with some of the other posts you've recieved) and discreetly show it to other family members and see what they have to say. Let others in the family know the stress you're under.

or #2. Give your FIL a shovel and tell him it'll only take a little longer digging it by hand, and how SURE you are that he'll do a great job!!


Skinwhittler - maybe this?    Posted 05-13-2002 at 05:32:48       [Reply]  [No Email]
Hey RH,
Been in a similar spot once myself. Hard to say no. Wrong machine for the job. Wrong site too it seems. Has your FIL looked into any State or Fed programs to get assistance. My guess is that he wouldn't qualify. He probably wouldn't get a permit on his own if the site ain't just so. Had a farmer close to me that was turned down. You in Va., right? Shouldn't be too hard to get an answer. If he gets turned down by the gov't. it will be a done-deal, right?
If he don't get turned down, the site review inspector will have advice on what equipment will do the best for his job. He sure as heck won't say a backhoe will do. It would take forever to scratch & claw a pond that size with a machine designed for septic fields & footers. Your FIL sounds like a user. Let him use someone elses stuff: like a CAT D7, or a CAT 955 - 977. That is what he needs - hands down. My 2 cents- SW


Mark Hendershot    Posted 05-12-2002 at 22:12:19       [Reply]  [No Email]
Heavey Equipment costs big buck to maintain, opperate and repair. I know where you are at with the relivtives. I would perpose to them that you need to have the equipment completely tuned up and all fluid changed befor any work could be done with it. I would also require money up front for repairs and fluid change again after the job is done. If these terms could not be made I would offer to run the equipment if he rented it. You could tell him you cannot afford to replace your hoe and do to it's age you are worried about it breaking. This is a large job to do and will take a lot of hours off your hoe for the future use of it. Remember when it breaks down some day all the hours you put on it doing that job is less hours of doing work with it for your self. People who don't have there own equipment don't care about that part but I do. A small job is one thing but the job you are talking about is a big one. Go for the rental way to do it. That is the best way and you can get the right equipment for the right job too! Mark H.


EIEIO    Posted 05-12-2002 at 21:47:42       [Reply]  [Send Email]
Woman's point of view. I don't know a backhoe from a fronthoe, but I assume you are speaking of your wife's father. Have you discussed this with her? Can you sit down with her explain the problem and see what she says. Otherwise you may be in a dam if I do and a dam if I don't situation. The suggestion about either you or your brother-in-law doing it sounds good and it make prevent a family war. From what you say it seems like even if you do lend it to him and he does use it and breaks it he would have something else talk about in his tales of abusing machinery. Sly suggestion store it with a friend and tell him a friend is using it.

Let us know when you finally have this matter resolved.

toni


DeadCarp - it's broke and so am i.    Posted 05-12-2002 at 20:23:03       [Reply]  [No Email]
Keep it simple. There's no reason even your FIL can go around wearing-out your hard-earned equipment. Have you priced parts lately? The whole world tries to advise you, (make your decisions), my friend. Heck with them, if you're paying the bills, it's YOUR decision. Besides, its the wrong tool to move that much dirt and you know that even if he don't. Sorry, no. Ask if he wants you to help him call the dozer guy. :)


Nathan(GA)    Posted 05-12-2002 at 19:21:17       [Reply]  [No Email]
I was gonna say trade him the backhoe for his wife, BUT since it's your father-in-law, I don't reckon that'll work.

Next option sell the backhoe!

Kinda between a rock and a hard place. I guess you could do the work yourself to save your backhoe undue stress.

Or just go ahead and make him MAD and tell him NO!


rhudson- that should be 27000 cubic feet, or 1000 cubic yards    Posted 05-12-2002 at 19:15:09       [Reply]  [Send Email]
too upset to calculate!


Sammie    Posted 05-12-2002 at 19:45:23       [Reply]  [No Email]
Why don't you talk to your brother in law and see if he will dig the pond with your backhoe for your father-in-law for fathers day?


LH    Posted 05-12-2002 at 20:26:46       [Reply]  [No Email]
Good idea on a compromise Sammie.


[Return to Topics]



[Home] [Search]

Copyright © 1999-2013 KountryLife.com
All Rights Reserved
A Country Living Resource and Community