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Country Discussion Topics
To add your comments to this topic, click on one of the 'Reply' links below.

Mothers day problem, need help
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screaminghollow    Posted 05-13-2002 at 19:25:47       [Reply]  [No Email]
We and the Mrs. got two kids, 8 and 14. I went out and bought a card for each kid to give her, a basket of her favorite flowers, her favorite breakfast and we cleaned up the kitchen. Her favorite Sunday morn activity is reading the paper with her coffee so we had the table set for her, with the paper, cards and flowers. Problem, she got upset because the 14 yr old didn't remember to say "Happy Mother's day" and because I got the flowers and cards for the kids to give. Now she won't talk to any of us. What did I do wrong and how do I fix it?


jamo    Posted 05-15-2002 at 14:15:42       [Reply]  [Send Email]
please tell your wife to be thankful that you and the children are there to remember Mother's Day. I lost my son a little over 2 1/2 years ago and what I wouldn't give to hear him waLK in the house a yellin' and bellerin'.


Mama Bear    Posted 05-14-2002 at 11:16:30       [Reply]  [No Email]
Screaminghollow, check the reply after you click on what you posted. Didn't seem to come up on the main page for some reason.

Mama Bear


Mama Bear    Posted 05-14-2002 at 11:06:53       [Reply]  [No Email]
As my father-in-law says,"take my advice and do as you please". Well, I'm not much on advice but I can share a little. Your kids are 8 and 14. They don't drive so what you probably should of done was take them with you to the store and let them pick out the cards and maybe let them suggest something that they would like to buy for their mom.If they had their own $, that would be better, but usually it's spent! Maybe if they individually gave the cards to your wife ,that might of helped.

My 17 yr. old didn't do any thing for me ( I thought). At the end of the day when I was bedding down for the night, she had daisys in a vase and a card in my bathroom. Before that though , she asked me if I had a good Mother's Day. I told her it would have been nice if she at least would of said Happy Mother's Day to me. Well, when I went upstairs , I felt like 2 cents lookin for change when I saw the daisies. The card said she didn't have a lot of $ ,but she'd watch our 6 yr, old for us for a day.

Kids are really hard to figure out. I cried over that one.

As far as what happened at your house, I think Mother's Day can be a pretty emotional day. Alot of things go through a mom's mind and heart. She just wanted to hear her kids say those special words.

I think you need to talk it over with your wife and let her know you appreciate her alot and that it will take some time for the kids to "come around " and appreciate how special she really is.

I know that when Tyler takes the time to sit down and talk things through with me instead of leaving me be, I get over it faster. Why don't you try that?

Hope things get better.As the kids get older, they see how wise their parents really were!

Good Luck!


Mama Bear    Posted 05-14-2002 at 11:06:15       [Reply]  [No Email]
As my father-in-law says,"take my advice and do as you please". Well, I'm not much on advice but I can share a little. Your kids are 8 and 14. They don't drive so what you probably should of done was take them with you to the store and let them pick out the cards and maybe let them suggest something that they would like to buy for their mom.If they had their own $, that would be better, but usually it's spent! Maybe if they individually gave the cards to your wife ,that might of helped.

My 17 yr. old didn't do any thing for me ( I thought). At the end of the day when I was bedding down for the night, she had daisys in a vase and a card in my bathroom. Before that though , she asked me if I had a good Mother's Day. I told her it would have been nice if she at least would of said Happy Mother's Day to me. Well, when I went upstairs , I felt like 2 cents lookin for change when I saw the daisies. The card said she didn't have a lot of $ ,but she'd watch our 6 yr, old for us for a day.

Kids are really hard to figure out. I cried over that one.

As far as what happened at your house, I think Mother's Day can be a pretty emotional day. Alot of things go through a mom's mind and heart. She just wanted to hear her kids say those special words.

I think you need to talk it over with your wife and let her know you appreciate her alot and that it will take some time for the kids to "come around " and appreciate how special she really is.

I know that when Tyler takes the time to sit down and talk things through with me instead of leaving me be, I get over it faster. Why don't you try that?

Hope things get better.As the kids get older, they see how wise their parents really were!

Good Luck!


Ludwig    Posted 05-14-2002 at 07:53:55       [Reply]  [No Email]
Oh man! I had just the opposite problem.
I sent my mom a card and mowed the grass
last weekend when we were there because
Dad can't ride the mower much any more. So
she was taken care of.
My wife bought her mom a card and $20 worth
of scratch tickets. Then we took both her
parents out to the movies.
The problem comes when the MIL opened the
card and flipped straight inside to get at the
scratch tickets.
My wife was all mad because she (the mil)
didn't spend 15minutes standing in the movie
theater lobby to read this stupid BOOK of a
card she bought her. I mean this is the kind of
card I'd have to work at to stay awake through,
and here we are trying to get into "Spiderman"
and I had to go on ahead and get us seats
while the others stayed behind to get food and
she wants her to READ the card.....

She was mad almost the whole day about
that, and you know who had to just sit there
and take it...


Manitoba    Posted 05-14-2002 at 09:34:27       [Reply]  [No Email]
Soooo.........how was Spiderman..???


DeadCarp    Posted 05-14-2002 at 02:36:24       [Reply]  [No Email]
People have been getting more outspoken for decades now. Sad but true. I imagine that makes mothers seem ungrateful at times. After all, they are bosses with limited accountability too. Maybe that's why guys hang around guys more - the trust is gone.


Sammie    Posted 05-13-2002 at 22:28:35       [Reply]  [No Email]
Every mother is different. Obviously she wanted something from the kids to know that THEY appreciate her. Maybe after this blows over, you, her and the kids can spend some special time together and go do something fun that she likes.

Mine is grown but I know he loves and appreciates me cuz he shows me all of the time. I spent my Mothers Day on the shore of a lake helping the Sheriffs Dept with a body recovery!! I'm with Search and Rescue. HOWEVER, Morgan came over today and spent 4 hours helping me remove the old chimney from my house cuz he knows I've been having trouble with my shoulders and couldn't get the rest of it down. He stayed for lunch and visited. He'll babysit my dog next weekend while I go help in the mountains (SAR). But apparently this casual - I love you Mom - isn't enough for your wife. Mothers are all different. That's what makes us so neat!! lol It will pass.


Mark Hendershot    Posted 05-13-2002 at 20:12:47       [Reply]  [No Email]
Mothers are funny and hard to figure out some of the time. HallMark has built it up to make money from people and left out the real reason for Mothers Day! It is not their card they print up with nice sayings it is what comes from your heart that counts. Tell her you love her and you wish the day could have been better for her. Being a man sometimes you do things backwards and is there something I could do to make up for it. The kids love you very much and will understand later in life how important this day was to you. I just want you to know you are the one I love and will be there for you allways!! Not much more that can be said. Mark H.


EIEIO    Posted 05-13-2002 at 19:59:38       [Reply]  [Send Email]
On Mother's Days past I had looked at how fast the kids were growing, think of them as infants and know that each year brings the children a little closer to that front door of "their own life" and the feeling upset me. Other Mother's Days when they were teens and remembered me with flowers or whatnot I would think of the heartache they may have given me through the year and feel upset that they could only remember once a year to show their love - so it seemed. Different holidays for me bring a different set of emotions, we are a strange breed that way, at least I am. The kids, have grown, married, in college and they didn't even remember me this year but that is where they are now in their life. So a new emotion was felt. But no matter what emotion we may have at a given time there is no love like that of a mother so just give her time, an extra hug and an "I love you". This too shall pass.

Toni


cornfused    Posted 05-13-2002 at 19:35:54       [Reply]  [No Email]
Nothing and time.


LH    Posted 05-13-2002 at 19:35:08       [Reply]  [No Email]
Best to just let it blow over. I bought my wife a nice patio swing she had been wanting for Mother's day from me and the kids. After a day or so I asked her if she liked it she said yes, but none of us got a simple thank you out of it. So in my opinion it's best to just let it blow over.


WallSal55    Posted 05-14-2002 at 14:17:35       [Reply]  [No Email]
Sounds like she is commanding respect or recognition out of the 14 yr. old. I remember
last mother's day, my four teens 16-23 were so
mouthy and smart alek to me during the winter months, that when April arrived--I announced that Mother's Day was coming in May--and they owed me big time! So, on mother's day, I was prepared to command some respect. But, I didn't have to, they were all super with respect, recognition, gifts. They were a little less mouthy after that. So, it may depend on what
has been going on in the relationship with the
14 yr. old. prior to Mother's Day. On the other
hand, Mother's Day is emotional, and we can
set our expectations too high. This year my
kids didn't have much money, so I wasn't expecting gifts. I prepared myself ahead of time for that and knew acknowledgement was all I was going to receive. And that was OK.


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