Posted 05-27-2002 at 07:36:53
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Only a true Southerner knows the difference between a
hissie fit and a conniption and that you don't "have"
them, but "pitch" them.
Nobody but a true Southerner knows how many fish,
collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc. make
up a mess.
A true Southerner can show or point out to you the
general direction of "yonder."
A true Southerner knows exactly how long "directly"
is - as in "Going to town, be back directly."
Even true Southern babies know that "Gimme some
sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet
substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the
middle of the table.
All true Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the
term, but they know the
True Southerners know instinctively that the best
gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is
a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold
potato salad. (If the trouble is a real crisis, they
also know to add a large banana puddin'.)
True Southerners grow up knowing the difference
between "right near" and "a right far piece." They
know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.
True Southerners both know and understand the
differences between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and
po' white trash.
No true Southerner would ever assume that the car
with the flashing turn signal is actually going to
make a turn.
True Southerners know that "fixin" can be used both as
a noun, verb and adverb.
A true Southerner knows how to understand Southern: a
booger can be a resident of the nose, a descriptive
("That ol' booger!") or something that jumps out at
you in the dark and scares the stuffin out of you.
True Southerners make friends standing in lines. We
don't do "queues," we do "lines." We stand IN them,
not ON them. And when we're in line, we talk to
Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will
discover they're related, if only by marriage.
True Southerners never refer to one person as
True Southerners know grits come from corn and how to
Every true Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon,
grits and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that redeye
gravy is also a breakfast food; that fried green
tomatoes are not breakfast food.
Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet
tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it - we
do not like our tea unsweetened; "sweet milk" means
you don't want buttermilk.
And a true Southerner knows you don't scream
obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 on the
freeway - you say, "Bless her heart" and go your way.
Or, Added by "Bless her heart, she can't hep