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Country Discussion Topics
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An honest woman....
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Clipper    Posted 02-11-2005 at 14:20:58       [Reply]  [No Email]
A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir."

The driver says, "Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating."
Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: "Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control."
As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?"
The wife smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did." As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, "Darn it, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"

The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine." The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket."
The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."
And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??"

The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?"

(.. I love this part.... > > >)

"Only when he's been drinking."


Doc    Posted 02-11-2005 at 20:47:30       [Reply]  [No Email]
lol, Good one Clip


Alias    Posted 02-11-2005 at 15:27:58       [Reply]  [No Email]
So, this buddy of mine from Michigan was driving across the desert from New Mexice to California. He pulls the car to side of the road and said to his wife, "Honey, how about driving a while I'm gonna crawl onto the back seat and take a nap".

Now, this all happened at night and as she spead along, radio blaring, she kept time with her hand right hand thumping the steering wheel. She got caught up in a night time day dream and without thinking she heavy footed the gas pedal. There she goes, leveled out and streaking at about 95 mph. As fate would have it, she passes a Arizona State Highway Patrolman asitting in a draw. he pulls onto the pavement in a cloud of dust with sirens ablastin and lights aflashing. He11, he's in hot pursuit.

The woman hears, sees and knows that she has been had. She calls to my buddy...Wake up honey, we're about to be pulled over for speeding. Well sir, ole Elmo, that's my buddys name, takes a look out the rear window and sees a travelling Christmas Tree bearing down on em at record speed. He lays low and says to his wife. Ok honey, don't panic...just pull over and let me handle it...but, don't argue with me when I start.

Once stopped, the officer approached the lead car and shined his flashlight onto the womans face. Now to say that she was Hollywood material would be an understatement. For, she was a young demure beauty. He asked for her driving license and registration card as he shined the light into the back seat where her husband was pretending to come awake. Ole Elmo said what's the matter here? What has my wife done now? The cop said well sir she was speeding....clocked her at more than ninty mph.

Well sir, ole Elmo knew just how to play the cop. He began by saying "Great,...that's just great!!
Officer I want you to give her a ticket. For, the last thing I said to her was to keep her eye on the road and stay within the speed limit. But, nooo, she could do as she was told...d@mmed hard headed B!tc%. ....Just couldn't do what she was told.....for two cents I'd kich her sorry @$$ right out here on the highway and drive to California alone".

About that time the patrolman, feeling sorry for the woman said, "Lady, I'm not going to give you a ticket, just keep it down till you reach the California line.



DD    Posted 02-12-2005 at 08:56:41       [Reply]  [No Email]
These were both good too fellers : )


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