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Country Discussion Topics
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Ice fishing
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mark    Posted 02-15-2005 at 14:57:48       [Reply]  [No Email]
Ole goes ice fishing one day, He gets out on
the ice, and starts to drill a hole. A booming
voice out of nowhere say " There are no fish
down there " Ole looks around, picks up his
bucket and auger and moves down the ice. He
starts drilling a new hole when the booming
voice from nowhere says " There are no fish
down there " Ole picks up his bucket and
auger and moves farther down the ice. He
starts to drill a hole again, and again the voice
says " There are no fish down there " Ole
looks around, scratches his head and yell " IS
THAT YOU GOD ?" The booming voice replies
" NO, this is the arena manager ".


dc - sumting nice    Posted 02-15-2005 at 15:47:52       [Reply]  [No Email]
ole & lena are on their way to town, couple days before christmas, and ole sez " dew yew mind if vee stop at svens? vee haff lil pisinesss ant i kodda use ta outhouse." when they pulled in, ole greeted sven briefly then headed down the path.
when he was out of sight, lena mentioned to sven that she'd sure like to get her ole sumting expensive this year but there's no way she could make that kinda money in time. sven right away sez "vell i know how yew could make $100!" she asked how, and sven said "yust show me vunna dose!" lena thought well, it is christmas and it's no big deal and she sure does love her ole. so she got a nice crisp $100 bill! about the time she was wondering if it would be enough, sven offered another $100, this time he'd use his hands. she finally decided sven was harmless enough, and made another 100.
so ole came back, jumped in and away they went. about halfway there, le said "by da vay, sven did gave yew dat $200 he owed me, didn't he? he offered it tew me but i said naw, yust give it to lena - i trust her!" :)


mark    Posted 02-15-2005 at 16:07:28       [Reply]  [No Email]
Sven woke the morning of his birthday to a
pounding on his door. He says come in and in
comes Leana. Without a word she sets a tray
of breakfast on the nightstand, undresses and
makes wild passionate love to Sven. She
dresses, puts the tray on Sven's lap throws a
dollar on the tray and walks out without a
word.

A couple days later Sven sees Leana on the
street and stops to thank her for the wonderful
present. Leana says don't thank me thank
Ole". I asked what we should do for your
birthday he said " Screw Ole, give im a buck "
but breakfast was my idea.


or another    Posted 02-15-2005 at 16:33:28       [Reply]  [No Email]
Sven and Ole are driving to town when Ole
has to use the defecatorium. Being they live
out in the sticks there's nothing around but
trees. Sven pulls over and tells Ole to go use a
tree but hurry it up, he wants to get to town. Ole
complains he has nothing to clean himself,
Sven tells him to use a dollar.

After a few minutes Sven is getting antsy, he
blows the horn, yells out the window, blows
the horn some more. Pretty soon Ole appears
beside the car just covered in filth, it's on his
hands, up his arm, on his face, all over his
pants.

Sven looks at him and asks " Vat happent ta
yew Ole ? Yer covert in Kucka " ! Ole say " Id
happint ven I vas cleaning myself Sven. " " Dit
yew use a dollar like I tolt ya to Ole "? " Yes
Sven I dit , I uset tree karters, two dimes ant a
nickle" .


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