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Country Discussion Topics
To add your comments to this topic, click on one of the 'Reply' links below.

Roadside memorials
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Airville    Posted 02-18-2005 at 21:49:05       [Reply]  [No Email]
My cousin lives along a highway with a lot of curves and there is a nasty one right at his house. Because we live out so far in the country folks aren't real concerned with getting caught speeding. A year ago, a drunk kid going way too fast spun out and "cashed in" in my cousin's front yard. The kids family keeps coming back and pounding wooden crosses and leaving tin cans with flowers in my cousin's front yard. My cousin doesn't want their trash in his yard so he keeps pulling them out. This afternoon, cuz' came home to find two men pounding in another wooden cross made out of 2x4's. First he asked them to leave and take the cross with them. When they kept pounding, he told them they were trespassing and demanded they leave. One of the men started cursing him out and threatened that if his son's cross is taken out, something might happen. Well cuz lost it. First cuz called for the police and then he went back and told the father that if he had trained his kid right, maybe the kid wouldn't have been an unmarried father, driving 90 mph and jacked up on illegal drugs and booze underage. That it was cuz's front yard and he will never tolerate a monument to such a poor example of a human. That if the father wants to sooth his guilty conscience to do it somewhere else. Fortunately for cuz, the cops showed up as the man was waiving the hammer menacingly. Cuz's wife told me the cops had their guns on the father until he dropped the hammer. Nerve of some folks!


ret    Posted 02-19-2005 at 16:09:42       [Reply]  [No Email]
we have a lot of them here in this area, kids are forever killing theirselves.Some of the sites have florescent ballons that blind you when the sun hits them. There is a huge one on a curve here, 3 or 4 kids met their death by speeding. the road is always written on and flowers are always there, and it is distracting. I personally think the cemetery is the place for these displays. However, the new youth think it is cool
I am not sure I could visit a site like that,too painful
REt


john    Posted 02-19-2005 at 07:00:28       [Reply]  [No Email]
I never remember this practice years ago.It seems to be becoming more popular.I think alot of these people are taking a chance of causing further accidents by stopping on highways and placing stuff.Of coures nobody wants it on the front lawn.Cant they just visit the cemetary and place these items?Inapropriate for someone elses property for sure.


not given    Posted 02-19-2005 at 05:54:45       [Reply]  [No Email]
My daughter was killed in a head-on collision two years ago due to foggy morning roads. It was no ones fault and no one was sited. She was an honor student and very popular. She was elected to the who's who of American high school students after her death. As a mother, I can tell you, none of these accomplishments mean anything compared to pain of losing her. Her friends all graduated from high school two years ago and have moved on with their lives. Occasionally I drive by her accident site on my way to the store. I cannot tell you what it means to me to see flowers and a cross where she was killed. It is maintained by all of her friends. It gives them an additional way to grieve other than just going to the cemetery. I hope you never have to go through the pain of losing a child. I have 5 children. One of them is always in trouble, I do not love him any less than the others, it would have hurt me just as much to lose him. Maybe more because no matter how hard I try I can't help him or get through to him. Perhaps you could speak with the family and come to a compromise about a memorial on your property. You may be able to help someone with unbelievable mind-numbing grief. Also, who are you to say the father is trying to overcome guilt? Judge not lest you be judged.
All I am trying to say is, if you know of someone other than this father that has lost a child in an accident, ask them if someone erected a memorial at the accident site. Then ask them how that makes them feel. Maybe then you will understand. Look at your own children, and then try to walk a mile in that fatherís shoes.



Farmall    Posted 02-21-2005 at 18:58:05       [Reply]  [Send Email]

I think Id tell them, your welcome to put it up 200ft either side of my yard, or so, What difference fif its not on the exact spot? Appairiantly there was a wreck just below me around 100ft or so at an old WPA bridge, somone continually has occasioally hung wreaths on a certain tree. Of all the trees around that bridge on either bank, thats the only one that has died. Ive been here since 81 and theres never been a death here since then. At the next town to me, back in the late 50s, a car with 3 kids in front was going towards the next town at a high rate of speed. The car did a U, ran off the road and under a concrete crossway. It shered off the top of the car, and the tops of the kids. THe car was wedged in and had to be winched out. Just around a year or 2 ago, sombody placed a wreath there, over 40 yrs after it happened


BOSS    Posted 02-21-2005 at 14:57:10       [Reply]  [No Email]
I agree. Why not let something so little and insignificant, make someones life alittle better. There is nothing wrong with a little cross and flowers. I would even tell the people that when it gets old, I'll throw it away for them and they can put a new one up.


Fawteen    Posted 02-19-2005 at 04:57:45       [Reply]  [No Email]
I'm with you, Air. Why is it that somebody can be a complete waste of oxygen while they're alive, but as soon as they finally manage to kill themselves through their own stupidity, they're suddenly saints?

My nephew was such a person. At the age of 21, he died of alcohol poisoning while driving home. Coroner said he was dead before the vehicle ever left the road. I'm just thankful he didn't take anyone with him. While I'm sorry for the hell he put his Mom through (not a tear for his Dad, he's worse than the son) the world is a better place without him.

Okay, Flame On, folks.


SusieQ    Posted 02-19-2005 at 05:30:51       [Reply]  [No Email]
We see crosses, flowers along interstates, roads, but have to agree........take stuff to the cemetary, private property is just that...Private....it is a shame when some drink and drive, do drugs, drive, or just drive way to fast...then lose their life, I would have had the guy arrested pounding anything on my property....like I said, take the stuff to the cemetary that is where the body is buried. Hey you tell it like it is.....me too.


Alias    Posted 02-18-2005 at 22:29:42       [Reply]  [No Email]
People with guilt do all sorts of thing to appease conscience. Didn't anyone ever tell the guy his son was moved from that place.

When my son died at our home from a dislodged blood clot, we never spent another night in that house. It is not a place or a memory I like to revisit. We moved away and never looked back. .......gfp


Ennis    Posted 02-18-2005 at 22:28:33       [Reply]  [No Email]
yer cusin should be strung up and shot for being so insensitive.

Yer right "the nerve of some people"


Old Coot    Posted 02-19-2005 at 11:38:39       [Reply]  [No Email]

Those are some mighty strong words when you dont know the man or whats really going on first hand....Just because some one passed away at a certain location doesnt give anyone the right to tresspass or to litter on private ground...For example on my farm...A man died in my dairy barn...he was malled by a holstein bull...Does that give anyone the right to come in my barn and put up memorials??? On public roadside i see nothing wrong with the flowers or wood cross that type of thing but if it is private ground the owner should be asked first if it is OK and should know what is going on...You know these days you need to watch your butt...Anyone that comes on your ground is a lawsuit waiting to happen...Your dog bites that they trip on a rock and break an ankle anything and before you know it your getting letters from a lawyer...I think permission should of been asked first before anyone set foot on the property...Call me old fashion but thats the way bur in the COUNTRY thats that law all us country folks have lived by respect others property and talk with each other...You never know what good things can happen


Pitch    Posted 02-19-2005 at 04:32:43       [Reply]  [No Email]
I read a piece someplace on these roadside memorials a month or so ago. According to this article many cultures especially the latinos believe that the place where someone loses their life is just as sacred as a cemetery.
No matter what your cousin thought of this guy's lifestyle and circumstances he was still some families beloved son. I have a brother who is worthless scum but we still love him and will honor his memory when the time comes like we would anyother family member. Ennis is correct your cousin is an insensitive slob. Would it be that hard for him to let the family have a small memorial to their son? He could even help the family and provide a little guidance to help make it an attractive area of his property. The man upstairs loved that drugged out kid and altho your cousin is probably not required to love him a little respect for his memory would not be a black mark on his life record.


Randy    Posted 02-19-2005 at 05:44:38       [Reply]  [No Email]
Did the dead kids father ask to trespass on somebody elses property? Seems like not. Can't just go around and desicrate others property. Also think of the landowner, does he need to be reminded of the fact that some young boy died there?


Ennis    Posted 02-19-2005 at 14:44:21       [Reply]  [No Email]
I Read it as the man was putting up a cross at the site of his son's death. I have seen many of these and I took it to mean that the cross was being erected on PUBLIC RIGHT OF WAY.

Even if the man was on private property, the nasty way the "Cousin" approached the problem was insensative and just plain wrong.

Many different ways he could have handled it but the way he did, shows a big lack of character
and I stand by my original post.



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