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Country Discussion Topics
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Ok Girls...it's mammogram time! It's funny one...
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MJ in SC    Posted 03-04-2005 at 08:17:51       [Reply]  [No Email]
Get your mammies grammed! I got mine yesterday!

This is hysterical!
Make sure you read the whole thing...
This is a cute way to send "the message"!
There is a serious message at the end, but you get to laugh on the way there. Now go out and have your mammies grammed!
*************************************************
For years and years they told me, Be careful of your breasts. Don't ever squeeze or bruise them.
And give them monthly tests.

So I heeded all their warnings,
And protected them by law.
Guarded them very carefully,
And I always wore my bra.

After 30 years of astute care,
My gyno, Dr Pruitt,
Said I should get a Mammogram
"OK," I said, "let's do it."

"Stand up here real close" she said,
She got my breast in line),
"And tell me when it hurts," she said,
"Ah yes! Right there, that's fine."

She stepped upon a pedal,
I could not believe my eyes!
A plastic plate came slamming down
My hooter's in a vise!

My skin was stretched and mangled,
From underneath my chin.
My poor breast was being squashed,
To Swedish Pancake thin.

Excruciating pain I felt,
Within it's viselike grip.
A prisoner in this vicious thing,
My poor defenseless tit!

"Take a deep breath" she said to me,
Who does she think she's kidding?!?
My chest is mashed in her machine,
And woozy I am getting

"There, that's good," I heard her say,
(The room was slowly swaying.)
"Now, let's have a go at the other one."
Have mercy, I was praying.

It squeezed me from both up and down,
It squeezed me from both sides.
I'll bet SHE'S never had this done,
To HER tender little hide.

Next time that they make me do this,
I will request a blindfold.
I have no wish to see again,
My knockers getting steam rolled.

If I had no problem when I came in,
I surely have one now.
If there had been a cyst in there,
It would have gone "ker-pow!"

This machine was created by a man,
Of this, I have no doubt.
I'd like to stick his balls in there,
And see how THEY come out!

OK gals, now that you have had your laugh, remember...
Breast Cancer Awareness...
Go have your breasts checked out and stay healthy!
Pass the message on to your mothers, sisters, daughters, aunts, cousins,friends -- and even your enemies -- because the WORST enemy is Breast Cancer!


donna in w.v    Posted 03-04-2005 at 13:53:07       [Reply]  [Send Email]
Cute story,but great message ,it ain't pleasant but it neccessary. mom had double radical mastectomy about 6 years ago and when people say "how awful" she always says at least" I'm still here". She has a wonderful but nags the daylights out of me every year about 2 mo. before time she starts "have you made an appointment yet" and keeps it up till i do.


MJ in SC    Posted 03-04-2005 at 15:10:47       [Reply]  [No Email]
Hey Donna,

I know what you mean about Moms...my mom had a radical mastectomy on the left side 15 years ago and Praise God, she's still going strong. Had to snicker about your mom getting on you about going though...mine's the same way! Just really glad she's still here to keep me straight! LOL

I was supposed to start a year ago this past October and put it off....stupid!! I found a knot two weeks ago tomorrow and they sent me for a diagnostic mammo. Thank God, eveything came back just fine. They think I pulled some muscles working out.



Mudcat49    Posted 03-04-2005 at 13:09:39       [Reply]  [No Email]
My Mrs had one a couple of months ago. I asked her that evening how it had went and was it bad. She told me to go out to my shop, get a step to stand on and put my balls in my vice and close it tight, and that's what it was like!!!!


MikeT    Posted 03-04-2005 at 10:53:41       [Reply]  [Send Email]
My sister-in-law died from the most aggressive kind of breast cancer at age 35. They had two small children. No history in the family at all.

Just 1 year earlier her Gyno. had said "Naw, your to young to need a mammogram." They found it 6 months later and within 6 months she was gone. She died during the radiated bone marrow injection. The cancer had already spread into her brain and the radiation caused brain swelling. After 2 days of no brain activity my wife and her sister's husband gave permission to disconnect life support. My wife will never be the same.

Stillwater Okla has 10 times the national average for occurrences of breast cancer. Nobody knows why.


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