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A Woman's Facts About Men
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Ollie    Posted 06-20-2002 at 07:42:16       [Reply]  [No Email]
A Woman's Facts About Men

1. Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.

2. Men who have pierced ears are better
prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

3. Marrying a divorced man is ecologically
responsible. In a world where there are more women
than men, it pays to recycle.

4. Men are very confident people. My husband
is so confident that when he watches sports on
television, he thinks that if he concentrates he can help his team. If the team is in trouble, he
coaches the players from our living room, and
if they're really in trouble, I have to get off the phone in case they call him.

5. Men like phones with lots of buttons. It
makes them feel important.

6. Men love to be the first to read the
newspaper in the morning. Not being the first is
upsetting to their psyches.

7. All men are afraid of eyelash curlers. I
sleep with one under my pillow, instead of a gun.

8. A good place to meet a man is at the dry
cleaners. These men usually have jobs and bathe.

9. All men hate to hear "We need to talk about
our relationship." These seven words strike fear in the heart of even General Schwarzkopf.

10. Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a
man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.

11. Men have an easier time buying bathing
suits. Women have two types: depressing and more
depressing. Men have two types: nerdy
and not nerdy.

12. Men have higher body temperatures than
women. If your heating goes out in winter, I
recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like
portable heaters that snore.

13. Women take clothing much more seriously
than men. I've never seen a man walk into a party
and say "Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed; get me out of here. There's another man wearing a black

14. Most men hate to shop. That's why the
men's department is usually on the first floor of a department store, two inches from the door.

15. If a man prepares dinner for you and the
salad contains three or more types of lettuce, he is serious.

16. If you're dating a man who you think might
be "Mr. Right," and if he a) got older, b) got a new job, or c) visited a psychiatrist, you are in for a nasty surprise. The cocoon-to-butterfly theory only works on cocoons and butterflies.

17. No man is charming all of the time. Even
Cary Grant is on record saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.

18. When four or more men get together, they
talk about sports.

19. When four or more women get together, they
talk about men.

20. Men are less sentimental than women. No
man has ever seen the movie THE WAY WE WERE twice,

21. Most women are introspective: "Am I in
love? Am I emotionally and creatively fulfilled?"
Most men are outrospective: "Did my team win? How's my car?"

22. If a man says, "I'll call you," and he
doesn't, he didn't forget... he didn't lose your
number... he didn't die. He just didn't want to call you.

23. Getting rid of a man without hurting his
masculinity is a problem. "Get out" and "I never
want to see you again" might sound like a challenge. If you want to get rid of a man, I suggest saying, "I love you... I want to marry
you... I want to have your children." Sometimes they leave skid marks.

24. Men are self-confident because they grow
up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad
self-images because they grow up identifying with

25. Male menopause is a lot more fun than
female menopause. With female menopause you gain
weight and get hot flashes. Male menopause - you get to date young girls and drive motorcycles.

26. Men forget everything; women remember

27. That's why men need instant replays in
sports. They've already forgotten what happened.

- Woman Author Unknown -

Les...fortunate    Posted 06-20-2002 at 17:38:49       [Reply]  [No Email]
That was real good. Thanks for the post.
And WalSall, we got married in January, too. 33 years ago. But no blizzard. There was when we had our 25th back in '94 though.

Ollie    Posted 06-21-2002 at 07:29:15       [Reply]  [No Email]
You guys all make me feel like a young-un. We are celebrating our 20th next week.

WallSal55    Posted 06-20-2002 at 13:45:08       [Reply]  [No Email]
Made my Day! Will be celebrating our 25th in January. Will be taking many small trips starting
this weekend to celebrate. (Too cold to plan
traveling in January or our luck a blizzard would
blow in like it did when we got married. Had to
postpone the wedding 24 hrs. to get the groom to
the church). Other than that, January was a nice
quiet time of year to get married!

Hogman    Posted 06-20-2002 at 20:51:32       [Reply]  [No Email]
Sounds a little like Our wedding,was Dec 23Rd,snow,ice and blue cold. "Ceremony"(?) took place huddled up around the BIG old parlor heating stove tryin ta keep warm. My "TUX" was of tha Ozark type namely Bibbed Overalls,Maw Hog was in Jeans and overcoat and held tha JPs dog through tha whole thing. Dog was only wittness so had ta be there. JP had just came in from feedin Cows and was dressed accordinly. It was great, just what tha doctor ordered for a Hill Folk weddin. He read tha stuff'n We repeated,He offered a prayer,We signed tha papers,payed Him $10 and all it bought was tha happiest years of Our lives. 18 years'n still sharin tha same pillow ever night.

I pitty those who are not Married to Their very best friend and lover.

Sorry Folks, forgot again'n got in tha Pulpit.

Hey now They put a stint in tha ole ticker Tue mornin,I'm sittin here with a portable moniter hitched which comes off in a very few minutes. Had a little scare last evening, We drop tha moniter off at hospital in tha mornin and They'll check it and hopefully say I'm ready ta leap tall buildins with a single hop.After a bunch of rehab that is.
Next Wed it's off to tha lung mechanic, ain't We got fun?

WallSal55--Take Care Hogman.....    Posted 06-20-2002 at 21:43:54       [Reply]  [No Email]
...And we'll all be thinking about you and Maw

Ollie    Posted 06-21-2002 at 07:27:12       [Reply]  [No Email]
Yes we all will.

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