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Country Discussion Topics
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Ron/Pa    Posted 07-22-2002 at 07:58:13       [Reply]  [Send Email]
One of the worst tounge lashings I ever took from a woman was the time that she complained about the cost of her healt club.
I told her that If she wanted to save money, all she had to do was check with the local farmers, and I was sure that they would provide her with lots of workouts for free, or maybe she could even make a couple of bucks per hour. I said
"why you could save the price of a health club, and even help your husband with the income."
In the end, she told me that she DID NOT labor for anyone, and that I could go to he!!, then jumped in her mercedes and sped off!!
I hope she never has a problem with a place to put her mercedes, cause I know a place to park that too!!!!!!!!!!!!!

EIEIO-Exercise???    Posted 07-22-2002 at 09:30:02       [Reply]  [No Email]
I couldn't resist putting this in.

“My grandmother started walking 5 miles a day when she was 60. She is now 97, and we don’t know where the he!! she is.”
“I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I’m doing.
“I enjoy long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.”
“The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthy.”
“If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.”
“I don’t exercise at all. If God had meant us to touch our toes, He would have put them further up our body.”
“I joined a Health Club last year. Cost me 400 bucks. Haven’t lost a pound. It seems that you have to show up.”
“The only reason I would take up jogging is to be able to hear heavy breathing again.”

DeadCarp - lifetime fitness contracts    Posted 07-22-2002 at 09:13:11       [Reply]  [No Email]
Speaking of scams, i have a lifetime health club membership card. 'Course, it's no good cuz the club changed its name 40 years ago! lol

My good-looking buddy used his charisma to sell fitness contracts - he'd warm up to some housewife, then when her trial membership was about up, he'd "not notice her" for awhile til she got nervous and suddenly apologise all over himself til she had stars in her eyes and she'd be so flattered she'd gladly sign the lifetime contract. Like P.T. Barnum used to say -- :)

Scott Hansen    Posted 07-22-2002 at 08:04:33       [Reply]  [Send Email]
I never could get into health clubs. Something about purposeless work. I have PLENTY of work to do that ends with something being done.

Grove r    Posted 07-22-2002 at 10:19:05       [Reply]  [No Email]
Right on, Scott, nothin' worse than seeing someone on a treadmill with a towel and water bottle trying to work up a sweat doing NOTHING! If ya wanna have sweat runnin' down the crack of your ----, try heftin' a big ole Homelite chainsaw with a 22" bar in big limby spruce, buckin' and such, then go to the mill and do yer own "cantin'", while sawin' eighteen and twenty footers.......will try to post a few phone numbers, if If I can find anybody that is doing that....EO knows what it's like to be out fencin' in the heat.......I know I sure do......sweat like a rooster pullin' stumps, I do......then there is bendin' yer elbow at the local un-air conditioned that is a killer.....don't need no tread mill there to feel the heat......Anyhow, have a gooder, R.E.L.

JoeK    Posted 07-22-2002 at 08:52:09       [Reply]  [No Email]
Kinda like the gals that pay the tanning salon all summer for their sessions.....speakin of which,saw a couple gals comin outta one Sat that oughtta be charged by the acre,than the time.

WallSal55    Posted 07-22-2002 at 11:37:22       [Reply]  [No Email]
Doctor wants me to lift weights. Wonder if hauling water jugs, 25lb dog food bags, 18 lb
cat food, and 40-50 lb. bags of salt are enough?

Ira    Posted 07-22-2002 at 13:34:29       [Reply]  [Send Email]
Back when I had cows to milk I managed to put my back out somehow. I went to this doctor? I had heard about and he rubbed my shoulder and patted my back,handed me a bill for 35$ and a list of exercises to do- liftin' strechin' stuff like that. So I reminded him that I lived on a farm and did most of that in the course of the day, He got this pained expresion on his face and said in a very condesending tone "yes, but you don't get any exercise."

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