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Checklist for a happy marriage
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M.R.    Posted 08-08-2002 at 23:12:04       [Reply]  [No Email]
Subject: Checklist for a happy marriage


The secret to a happy marriage from a man's point
of view:

1. It is important to find a woman that cooks and cleans.

2. It is important to find a woman that makes good money.

3. It is important to find a woman that likes to have sex.

4. It is important that these three women never meet.



EIEIO-PAYBACK!!!!!    Posted 08-09-2002 at 07:09:47       [Reply]  [No Email]
LAWS FOR WOMEN TO LIVE BY

1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers.
2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.
3. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there.
4. Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.
5. Go for younger men. You might as well - they never mature anyway.
6. Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart.
7. Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.
8. Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types.
9. Best way to get a man to do something - suggest they are too old for it.
10. Love is blind - but marriage is a real eye-opener.
11. If you want a committed man - look in a mental hospital.
12. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.
13. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him checkbooks.
14. Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his.
15. Sadly, all men are created equal

Have a rainbow day!!!


JoeK's evil twin    Posted 08-09-2002 at 07:42:17       [Reply]  [No Email]
Pay attention, now Fellows:

It is important for men to remember that as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as they did when they were younger. When men notice this, they should try not to yell.

Let me relate how I handle the situation. When I chucked my job and took early retirement a year ago, it became necessary for Mary, my wife, to get a full-time job - both for extra income and for health insurance benefits that we need. She was a trained lab tech when we met thirty some years ago and was fortunate to land a job at the local medical center as a phlebotomist.

It was shortly after she started working at this job that I noticed that she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home from fishing, golf or hunting about the same time she gets home from work. Although she knows how hungry I am and she always had my meals on the table when I got home, now, she almost always says that she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts supper. I try not to yell at her when this happens. Instead, I tell her to take her time. I understand that she is not as young as she used to be. I just tell her to wake me when she finally does get supper on the table.

She used to wash and dry the dishes as soon as we finished eating. It is now not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after supper.
I do what I can by reminding her several times each evening that they aren't cleaning themselves. I know she appreciates this, as it does seem to help her get them done before she goes to bed.

Our washer and dryer are in the basement. When she was younger, Mary used to be able to go up and down the stairs all day and not get tired. Now that she is older she seems to get tired so much more quickly. Sometimes she says she just can't make another trip down those steps. I don't make a big issue of this. As long as she finishes up the laundry the next evening, I am willing to overlook it. Not only that, but unless I need something ironed to wear to Monday's lodge meeting or to Wednesday's or Saturday's poker club or to Tuesday's or Thursday's bowling or something like that, I will tell her to wait until the next evening to do the ironing. This gives her a little more time to do some of those odds and ends things like mowing and trimming the lawn, washing the cars, shampooing the dog, vacuuming, or dusting. Also, if I have had a really good day fishing, this allows her to gut and scale the fish at a more leisurely pace.

Mary is starting to complain a little occasionally. Not often, mind you, but just enough for me to notice. For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. In spite of her complaining, I continue to try to offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days.
That way she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any-------if you know what I mean.

When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods than she used to have to take. A couple of weeks ago she said she had to take a break when she was only half finished mowing the yard. I overlook comments like these because I realize it's just age talking. In fact, I try to not embarrass her when she needs these little extra rest breaks. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. I tell her that as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me and take her break by the hammock so she can talk with me until I fall asleep.

When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods than she used to have to take. A couple of weeks ago she said she had to take a break when she was only half finished mowing the yard. I overlook comments like these because I realize it's just age talking. In fact, I try to not embarrass her when she needs these little extra rest breaks. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. I tell her that as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me and take her break by the hammock so she can talk with me until I fall asleep.

I could go on and on, but I think you know where I'm coming from. I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Mary on a daily basis--I just can't help' it. I'm not saying that the ability to show this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible. No one knows better than I do how frustrating women can become as they get older. My purpose in writing this is simply to suggest that you make the effort. I realize that achieving the exemplary level of showing consideration I have attained is out of reach for the average man.
However, guys, even if you just yell at your wife a little less often because of this article, I will consider that writing it was worthwhile.



EIEIO-right back at you!    Posted 08-09-2002 at 08:25:47       [Reply]  [No Email]
Before I go and finish off MY chores I will leave you with this. Just thought of something no wonder some guys never start chores, this way they don't have to finish!!


MEN ARE LIKE...

Men are like newborn babies. They're cute at first, but you get tired of picking up their crap.
Men are like computers. Hard to figure out and never enough memory.
Men are like power tools. They make a lot of noise, but it's hard to get them to work.
Men are like remote controls. Simple. Easy to use. And usually lying around a TV.
Men are like road kill. They usually just lie around until they start to smell.
Men are like soap operas. They're fun to watch, but don't believe everything you hear.
Men are like pillows. Eventually, even the best ones get soft and lumpy.
Men are like old car tires. Balding, full of hot air, and it never hurts to have a spare.
Men are like plastic wrap. Cheap. Clingy. And very easy to see through.
Men are like placemats. They only show up when there's food on the table.
Men are like mascara. They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
Men are like bike helmets. Handy in an emergency, but otherwise they just look silly.
Men are like government bonds.They take so long to mature.
Men are like parking spots. The good ones are taken.
Men are like copiers. You need them for reproduction, but that's about it.
Men are like lava lamps. Fun to look at, but not all that bright.
Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money, they don't generate much interest.
Men are like coolers. Load them with beer and you can take them anywhere.
Men are like coffee. The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.
Men are like horoscopes. They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.
Men are like plungers. They spend most of their lives in a hardware store or the bathroom.

Have a rainbow day!




ger look out, duck    Posted 08-09-2002 at 08:59:49       [Reply]  [No Email]
battle of the sex,s keeping a low profile on this one , your a mighty brave man joek but me thinks you bit off more than ya can handle with this one lol . especially now that eieio,s wearing her shiny hat again. shes a fiesty one , my moneys on her, i may be a man but,i know when to run lol best of luck though,YOUR GONNA NEED IT LOL. later ger


bob    Posted 08-09-2002 at 08:42:21       [Reply]  [No Email]
sure getting spunky since quit smoking. but you keep itup as I haven,t chucked so much lattely .Too bad this just pertains to my buddies


sandra mathews    Posted 05-26-2003 at 19:22:24       [Reply]  [Send Email]
Its stupid


You'll pay for that one, Just wait and see,, Ron/PA    Posted 08-09-2002 at 05:44:21       [Reply]  [No Email]



ger    Posted 08-09-2002 at 09:11:25       [Reply]  [No Email]
did i start all this with the wise words post yesterday about the wedding cake lol oh oh ,ger


ger hey ron    Posted 08-09-2002 at 09:06:35       [Reply]  [No Email]
hows things , wife comming along good i hope , hang in there , buddy ,i been busy the last couple days but i been thinking of you an your wife, doesn,t look like anybody heard from papa denny ,wonder how they all made out,hope all,s well with them too,well gotta try an git the back mobile an get going again right in the middle of a dozen different projects , catch ya later ger


Ron/Pa    Posted 08-09-2002 at 14:48:30       [Reply]  [No Email]
Thanx ger, I brought her home last night, it's really rough for her. I'm trying to help?? during the day and work a little at night.
Feel really bad, she just got out and her mother called and said that her younger brother was admitted to the hospital with the final stages of juvinal diabetes, even though he is around 45 he has always been the family baby. We all look out for Tim like he was a kid.
He was always so full of life. hunting, fishing, and camping were his idea of a high. Now he is restricted to a nursing home.
Looks like he will soon be out chasing the big bucks again.
Thanx for asking
Ron


ger    Posted 08-10-2002 at 08:51:30       [Reply]  [No Email]
hi ron , i got in late last night an just read your post, man your family,s going through a rough bit , your wife sure didn,t need this kind of news , thats just terrible about her brother, must be hard on you trying to hold it all together too,sometimes your given quite a load to carry aren,t you, i wish your family all the best an my prayers will include you an your family,take care ron , tell yor wife hi , catch you later gerry


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