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Country Discussion Topics
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Preparation is the Key, Ladies :-}
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Ollie    Posted 08-29-2002 at 14:39:30       [Reply]  [No Email]
Mammogram Exercises

Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there is no need to worry. By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam and doing the following exercises, you will be totally prepared for the test and best of all, you can do these simple exercises right in your home.

EXERCISE ONE:
Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast in door. Shut as hard as possible and lean on the door for good measure.Hold that position for five seconds.
Repeat again in case the first time wasn't effective enough.

EXERCISE TWO:
Visit your garage at 3 AM when the temperature of the cement floor is just perfect. Take off all your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car. Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until your breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled. Turn over and repeat with the other breast.

EXERCISE THREE:
Freeze two metal bookends over night. Strip to the
waist. Invite a total stranger into the room.
Ask the stranger to press the bookends against one of your breasts. Smash the bookends together as hard as you can. Set up an appointment with the stranger to meet next year and do it again.
YOU ARE NOW TOTALLY PREPARED!

AND, just a thought for all you women out there.........
MENtal Illness.
MENstrual Cramps.
MENtal Breakdown.
MENopause.

Ever notice how all of women's problems start with Men?..
and when we have real trouble, it's HYSterectomy!!!
Send this to all the women you know and brighten their day!!!

AND,

don't forget to have a mammogram this year.



DeadCarp    Posted 08-29-2002 at 15:18:37       [Reply]  [No Email]
Oh, i could tell ya one about vasectomies too - in fact, maybe i'll make one up from memory ...... :)


Patient "AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Doctor with hypodermic,"I don't know why the second shot always seems to hurt so much worse than the first--"

Patient "AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"



Dennis    Posted 08-29-2002 at 15:49:04       [Reply]  [No Email]
Will this work on my cats and dogs too?


EIEIO    Posted 08-29-2002 at 15:18:03       [Reply]  [No Email]
I Love It - Don't forget though while doing all of this we have to relax.

When are you going to post practicing for a pap smear!!???LOL


LOL    Posted 08-29-2002 at 14:47:16       [Reply]  [Send Email]
The WIfe is rolling on the floor!

Thanks!

Salmoneye


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