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Stock Market Terms finally explained
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EIEIO    Posted 09-03-2002 at 15:06:55       [Reply]  [No Email]

New Meanings...These terms have been updated to fit today's times:

CEO: chief embezzlement officer.
CFO: corporate fraud officer.
BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake
himself for a financial genius.
BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the
wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.
P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market
keeps crashing.
BROKER -- What my broker has made me.
STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.
STOCK ANALYST! -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally
between themselves.
FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.
MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.
CASH FLOW -- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the
YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per
WINDOWS 2000 -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought
Yahoo @ $240 per share.
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a
PROFIT -- an archaic word no longer in use.

Cowboy Joe    Posted 09-03-2002 at 19:34:18       [Reply]  [No Email]
Thank goodness my bond fund is going up in value while the rest of my portfolio is shrinking fast. I'll take my 5 3/4% dividend interest last month any day.

Patria    Posted 09-03-2002 at 15:22:37       [Reply]  [Send Email]
May I have the contact info for your counsulting company??!!!


Later EI

EIEIO    Posted 09-03-2002 at 15:26:00       [Reply]  [No Email]
A very friend of mine in Houston who brightens my day everyday with a joke. Sad thing is I never knew she was so much fun until we moved here and her and I started e-mailing each other.

Life does take some different turns.

Well EI , I'm maried to my Internet friend and now...    Posted 09-03-2002 at 16:44:45       [Reply]  [Send Email]
...he's in the kitchen now cooking dinner for me,although I cook 95 per cent of the meals,he's the best, my soul-mate!!!
Also one of my dearest friend lives in Bolivia,her name is Carla,we meet in Napster, the music downloading program,we plan to meet sometime soon.
So EIEIO? keep your contacts with your friend nice and actualized.Maybe you'll have the chance to meet again.

PS: my english is not that good yet,sorry for the 'horrors'.


rachel Hey Patria!    Posted 09-03-2002 at 18:13:57       [Reply]  [Send Email]
I think your english is one heck of alot better than my spanish/german/french which is NONEXISTENT! Well, I DO know some naughty phrases in many, many different languages, but that's another story. These guys are verrrry good at what they do. Only thing is I haven't figured what that is as yet. Not sure they know either. That 007 fella is always showing up and cornfusing me! The deleted is a secret. I been trying to decipher the code. Maybe, between the two of us, we can figger it out. Are ya game? Later, Rachel

Patria    Posted 09-03-2002 at 19:17:01       [Reply]  [Send Email]
WEPA Rachel!!! I can see you're doing fine [hope you don't mind my STAR TREK babble here:-)) ] Well, my spanish is pretty good,and my english is getting french or german but i'm trying hard with dutch which is my husband's language.Anyway... I'm not discourage by ppl like 007,he's just trying to make me feel welcome...[isn't it 007??],I'm happy to share some good times with so many fine men and women in Koutrylife,and deciphering 'codes' here is for them to know and me to find out; didn't i tell you??? I'm just having fun!!

Take care Rachel
Nice meeting you!!

cornfused    Posted 09-03-2002 at 18:54:53       [Reply]  [No Email]
I do believe you mean CONFUSED madam, either that or that is why I have felt strange lately!

rachel    Posted 09-03-2002 at 19:29:35       [Reply]  [Send Email]
I meant cornfused cause mark just brought home close to 70 lbs. of corn for me to clean and freeze! I can be as cornfused as you if I wanna. HA! So there! As they say, tee, hee.

AGENT 006.001 WATCH YER TONGUE THERE GIRL    Posted 09-03-2002 at 18:29:40       [Reply]  [No Email]
Them spys are lurkin in tha shaders.

rachel    Posted 09-03-2002 at 19:32:58       [Reply]  [Send Email]
I noticed that. I was just reading Black House by Stephen King and Peter Straub and those shadows starting moving towards me so I quick put down the book and came in here to talk to real people and keep them shadowy thingies away!

006% 5/4THS smart girl    Posted 09-04-2002 at 18:52:22       [Reply]  [No Email]
no tellin what kinda critters was makin em.
Better ta stay here where i'ff'n Ya scream We can come hep Ya.
Maws settin in there watchin some kinda dumb ghost story on tha telle,She likes'em, tha spookier tha better! I'd rather spend My time redesign'n some of tha more complicated tribulatedin convaluters in tha main triple inverted double reverse momatron drive system on tha (---).
take care

Hogman*** Hey EI    Posted 09-03-2002 at 15:40:39       [Reply]  [No Email]
Don't divulge tha name of that there "consultant",thats a better kept secret'n even tha secret formula for makin tha lube for tha third didgital taktamashunal outboard filistur drive motor on the (DELETED)!
Sides,folks find that out'n what with all tha "sudden" millionairs runnin round well gosh,what'ud happen ta tha spotted termites'n----- DON'T DO IT

Patria/PR    Posted 09-03-2002 at 16:06:54       [Reply]  [Send Email]
You know Hogman? I'm still trying to make something out of your 'slang' guys....but this
'taktamashumal' thing I can't understand. Maybe you are so polite as to 'translate' this one for me??!! please??
My husband is pushing me to say please....

Later Hogman

Hogman****OH DEAR, I KNOWED IT'UD HAPPEN,DURN    Posted 09-03-2002 at 16:49:09       [Reply]  [No Email]
DEAREST MADAM; in the event that You happen to watch that perfection of "technical verbage" as used on "STAR TREK" perhaps You may have some realization of the imposibility of translation of such exceedingly technical terms to the ordinary lay person therefore I must refrain from disclosing the true meaning of the subject word.


Come on nice...    Posted 09-03-2002 at 17:05:48       [Reply]  [Send Email]
...i'm a puertorican,and lived in PR all my life,learned english IN school,and they only teach here the "STAR TREK 'technical verbage?'"
Maybe I need more than an 'ordinary lay' to translate this for me?? I'm sure you can do better than this...give it a try.

Later Hogman

Fergus Dingle    Posted 09-03-2002 at 17:34:25       [Reply]  [No Email]
We'd like to translate it but as of now it's covered by the Official Secrets Act of 1929. Please post your clearence number and clearence level. BTW, PR is a very pretty place and some of the best looking women on the planet.

I'm really having fun here!!!!    Posted 09-03-2002 at 17:50:30       [Reply]  [Send Email]
Fergus? you ppl are so much fun , and I'm learning a lot also; Official Secret Act of 1929???!!!! Hm...I'll check it out, 1929 eh??,clearence level?,BTW?? oh well, whatever...
But yes,you're right,we have more than one miss univers:-))))

Nice meeting you
Later Fergus

Hogman    Posted 09-03-2002 at 18:24:51       [Reply]  [No Email]
Watch Him there Gal, We are all a bunch of sneaky "scallywags" and He's about tha sneakiest.
Anyway, as a group it should be very clear You are recieving the best possible tutorin in proper English and all for FREE.
By tha way You do know that very,very few, mabe less'un that people in this Country speak "English".
Here in tha ozarks We speak OZARKEZE which sneaks inta some of My writin along with 007's and a few other charecters Ya would'nt want ta know of course.

One thing is for sure, You should never take offense at anything We write as I can assure You NO ONE in this group would ever do such. So, if You donot understand a word or phrase just ask about it. OKAY?
Well mabe that no good Sassy or Sherry might say somthin nasty but just ignore'em,just a couple of "Hussys anyway.
Pretty smart of Ya ta get the old man out there in tha kitchen, just don't Ya go talkin ta Maw Hog Ya hear.:>)

Eje Hogman...scallywags???!!!...    Posted 09-03-2002 at 20:01:09       [Reply]  [Send Email] don't know about that one either; but sneaky I sure do,just wondering about all those wasted years in school.Where were you guys when I needed you the most??...I'm a travel agent and need all the help I can get, so maybe you can start teaching me some 'proper'english words? I'm sure EI and Rachel will help me out also.
And Hogman, do I seem like i'm offended?? naaaahh:-))) I've been[almost]there and done[almost]that...and if I'm not offended by my 28y/o son,my 23y/o daughter and my 15y/o daughter who believe they know everything? then I'm save here.

Take care

PS: what does 'scallywags' mean???

Hogman---scallywag--old English    Posted 09-04-2002 at 19:04:50       [Reply]  [No Email]
for a person of low standing,given to petty thievery,dishonest,untruthful,perhaps one who spreads rumors involvin people such as SHERRY, rude uncivil. If'n I wer'nt so lazy I'd look it up in tha dicshunary.

May do that later anyway

take care 00?

10-4    Posted 09-05-2002 at 09:19:17       [Reply]  [Send Email]
LOL !!!

Thanks Hogman

PS: I found my dictionary:-))

Agent 007***PATRIA    Posted 09-03-2002 at 16:55:55       [Reply]  [No Email]
Ya oughta know You'd never get an answer there,so out of tha tender goodnes of my heart I'll offer some help.

Look up tha word "GOBBLDEGOOP" (SP).
Help'er out here Festus,Grove,Jake


Thanks Agent , that helped!!!    Posted 09-03-2002 at 17:24:07       [Reply]  [Send Email]

Later 007

Hogman*** Hey EI    Posted 09-03-2002 at 15:39:10       [Reply]  [No Email]
Don't divulge tha name of that there "consultant",thats a better kept secret'n even tha secret formula for makin tha lube for tha third didgital taktamashunal outboard filistur drive motor on the (DELETED)!
Sides,folks find that out'n what with all tha "sudden" millionairs runnin round well gosh,what'ud happen ta tha spotted termites'n-----

EIEIO    Posted 09-03-2002 at 16:01:16       [Reply]  [No Email]
Oh boy I forgot all about those spotted termits, rekon my mind ainta where it belongz. I will also keep the name of my conzultant wherin it belongz along with secret formula for makin tha lube for tha third didgital taktamashuna. I heard awhile back some fella was a diggn mighty deep for the formula for makin that running base that is being used on the (DELETED)'s afore rendered lopilition. Now this worries this head also. Ifn I wasn't in such a weakn state I'd of busted out of the sick room and knocked that soandso from here to Port Hurthanica. I tried using the peach flinger from the hse don't have near as much power as outside maybe you think I should borrow Jake's pinapple thrower. I best be quiet now you never know who is abounding on these pages.

Also sorry about your hiccups.

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