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Country Discussion Topics
To add your comments to this topic, click on one of the 'Reply' links below.

No Sherry, or Sassy Here...but...
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WallSal55    Posted 09-26-2002 at 19:26:20       [Reply]  [No Email]
Husband can like Alco HOLLY at times. Causes many
problems for the Missus here. Sometimes me
blue eyes cryin' in the rain.


Been there done that    Posted 09-27-2002 at 07:49:06       [Reply]  [No Email]
I also will suggest Alanon. Great for helping you understand you and help you live with a practicing Alcoholic.

I am pushing 20 years of no drinking through a 12 step program which I Still go to every week.

But as you already know the alcholic has to WANT help before it works.

God Bless you and him

Works for me.


WallSal55    Posted 09-27-2002 at 08:18:54       [Reply]  [No Email]
I have done Al Anon before, and husband stopped
and had 10 years of sobriety. Then at 40, (dealing w/midlife issues to begin with), a very
good friend and mentor died 2 weeks before his
40th. Then 2 weeks after his 40th, another good
friend and mentor passed away. He returned to
drinking. He then said he got a grip on it and
was going to quit. He even went for some help.
But the actual truth was, he continued, just
not in front of us. I confronted him just before
our 24th anniversary (January) after an incident, but he seems content with things as they are.
Has been tough with wondering about making 25 yrs.
and what happens from here on. Thanks for letting
me express myself here.


Practicing Alcoholic    Posted 09-27-2002 at 09:14:23       [Reply]  [Send Email]
Back in '94 when I was 41 my wife left me cause I pushed her against a wall and raised my hand to hurt her. I didn't but it was enough to scare her off. We lived apart for an entire year, then returned to each other, each with a promise to live and let live. She agreed to live with me drinking but only on the condition that if I was going to be "drunk" I should not be around her and she wasn't the one who would leave, also that I attend anger management courses. I agreed. What can I say, she's a saint who helped me inspite of myself. 7 years later (19 in total) we are still together and are in fact looking forward to our joint retirement in 5 more years. Although I still drink, it is far less important than it used to be, and I suspect over more time will diminish in importance even more. Good luck to you and ya'll (you and him) try to remember three things... mutual respect, mutual compassion and mutual compromise.


don,t think so    Posted 09-27-2002 at 10:01:37       [Reply]  [No Email]
a drunk doesn,t have mutual respect, mutual compassion , or mutual comprise i know i was a drunk i quit 22 yrs ago, my father had a drinking problem, an my brother an his kids do now , quit fooling yourself you just found a lady who ;loves you enough to put up with you, if i started drinkinh today it would be as if i never quit, we both know thats b.s that your spewing you maybe able to fool your self an your wife god bless her may be willing to put up with you, but WallSal came on here and said what she did because she,s living the problem everyday, it took a lot of guts and i would imagion desperation to do what she did so don,t try an fill us with your bs, because we both know that the real person your B.S. ing is your self, i thank god for my being sober an i know a drunk can,t just drink socially so i was luckly enough to have a wife that told me , me or the bottle an i for once in my life made the smart an right choice an got help an quit 22yrs ago an i wouldnt, trade my worst day now for my best day when i was drink ing, to WallSal like the others said you got to help yourself first , go to al-anon, an talk to them thats the first step , take care of your self first an then he finally may try to do something for himself , you can,t save him he has to want to be saved , good luck an god bless.


PA    Posted 09-27-2002 at 10:30:54       [Reply]  [No Email]
belieive what you like, it dont matter to me. I know what I do, and what I have. YOU may have been a drunk, but buddy it don't mean everyone who drinks is the same as you. It's a good thing you quit. I bet you were a real pain in the groin when you drink.


Sid    Posted 09-28-2002 at 02:19:09       [Reply]  [Send Email]
If I understand you say, learn to live with it. If it is not a problem why should one have to learn to live with it? If it is a problem why would one want to, learn to live with it, when the problem can be elimenated? Should one learn to live with a Rattlesnake in the house, or should one want to see that it is out of the house? Please think about it.


don,t think so    Posted 09-27-2002 at 10:54:05       [Reply]  [No Email]
nope i was a happy drinker but id like to set around an have a battle of wits with you, but i have better things to do with life now an by the way i never pushed any woman against the wall an threatened to hit her , think about that while you practice your controlled drinking


PA    Posted 09-27-2002 at 11:03:17       [Reply]  [No Email]
yup I'll surely do that just fer you, thanks for you kind words of support and you have a nice day too


nope, don,t think so    Posted 09-27-2002 at 11:06:43       [Reply]  [No Email]
you won,t use me , no sympathy or support from me i been there done that an used people like you try to to do to justify your drinking. your probably a good guy but you have to do things for your self or suffer to bad everybody around you has to too


PA    Posted 09-27-2002 at 11:29:34       [Reply]  [No Email]
cheers!


Bud Wiser    Posted 09-27-2002 at 06:41:16       [Reply]  [No Email]
I agree with PA. But we all have different tolerances, non- drinkers too. So all must be considered


I wish    Posted 09-26-2002 at 21:16:20       [Reply]  [No Email]
you all the best if this is or has been a real problem in your relationship.I know that monkey well and managed to kick his fuzzy lil butt out of my life about 25 yrs ago.The 1st thing is to admit there IS a problem.The second is the drinker admitting it.THEN and only then can the programs,private,public,etc help.I managed to stop dead on my own but I'm told I'm a rare case.Even with drinkers denial,YOU need to speak to Al-Anon or such for pointers and moral support.Thats what they're there for...Call em today!


Practicing Alcoholic    Posted 09-27-2002 at 06:15:46       [Reply]  [Send Email]
It's been my experience that people in general don't like drunks or others who get violent when they drink. For me the solution was learning to live with my alcoholism. I certainly was not interested in giving up alcohol. I don't get sloppy drunk around other humans, and took anger management courses to control my temper. In my opinion about alcoholism, why fight it,... just learn to live with it. it's a lot more fun that way. Enjoy life, it'll be gone soon enough.


WallSal55    Posted 09-27-2002 at 07:43:43       [Reply]  [No Email]
Thanks for all the input, and it's just like P.A.
said, He's learning to live with it, instead of
giving it up. That hits the hammer right on the nail.


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