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Country Discussion Topics
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New Meanings for Stock Market Terms...
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Ollie    Posted 09-27-2002 at 11:06:18       [Reply]  [No Email]
HOW TIMES HAVE CHANGED!!


New Meanings...These terms have been updated to fit today's times:

CEO: chief embezzlement officer.


CFO: corporate fraud officer.


BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake
himself for a financial genius.


BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance,
the
wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.


VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.


P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the
market
keeps crashing.


BROKER -- What my broker has made me.


STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.


STOCK ANALYST! -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.


STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets
equally
between themselves.


FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.


MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.
CASH FLOW -- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the
toilet.


YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per
share.


WINDOWS 2000 -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought
Yahoo @ $240 per share.


INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a
nuthouse.


PROFIT -- an archaic word no longer in use.


Sid    Posted 09-28-2002 at 02:28:22       [Reply]  [Send Email]
Very good explanation. Thanks for helping me to better understand this subject. When you have time would you try to explain how government by the people and for the people works?


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