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Country Discussion Topics
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When I DIe - Burial Question
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HeatherD    Posted 10-19-2002 at 23:11:06       [Reply]  [Send Email]
Okay, I'm not usually morbid, but I do like to plan ahead (I hope this is 30 years ahead!) I have heard that there is a "legal" (I live in WA) way to bury someone on their own land. Grueesome as it is, when I die, couldn't I be - composted??? I'm sorry if this offends, I just HATE my family to pay thousands for funeral expenses if it's not really mandatory. Anyway, how DID settlers handle dead bodies, unless they dug so many graves, like for cholera victims, etc.

IMPORTANT - I am Christain, not intentionally barbaric. Just trying to find out the options. I appreciate any info someone can give. Thanks, all y'all...


Brenda    Posted 09-25-2004 at 07:40:40       [Reply]  [Send Email]
Where can I find Missouri laws for burials on private property.Our sons (13 and 3)were killed in house fire.Our youngest was born in the house that burnt.Don't want them in a city cemetary since they lived in the country.


Pigster    Posted 10-21-2002 at 08:00:49       [Reply]  [Send Email]
Read about this a while back and one of the more interesting points they(gotta figure out who "they" are someday) made was the impact of home burial on your property value. It seems that most areas have very strict laws about disturbing gravesites. Thus having a plot in the backyard may cost your heirs some unless the family intends to keep their piece of God's good green for about forever. I can only imagine what would be involved in a moving day for a dearly departed. Seems some people figger I'm a bad neighbor dead or alive.

As for me, I think cremation(in my homemade coffin)and then temporary burial in a pretty cemetary someplace offers the best of all worlds. The family can have the ashes as a link to what used to be me and no I don't think I should invite myself as a longterm uninvited guest on the mantle. Then when they finally realize I am gone or with them in a differant way, they will have instructions to spread the ashes over my favorite piece of Wisconsin's northwoods, sell the cemetary plot, and get on with their lives.

We need to remember that death is the puncuation at the end of the last sentence in the book of what we have done, valued, passed on through our lives. I hope mine will be an exclamation point and not a question mark.

Yea, I think the bereavement industry is a rip and many of its members rank up there with used car salespeople. But we need to remember that how we wish to be mourned says a world about us.


RayP(MI)    Posted 10-20-2002 at 18:14:49       [Reply]  [No Email]
Per my parents requests, they were cremated, and the cremains returned to the family. They were buried under the great beautiful red maple tree in the yard that they both loved. Saw to it myself.


Okie-Dokie    Posted 10-20-2002 at 09:04:12       [Reply]  [Send Email]
Here is my plan. I would really hate to be laid to rest beside a bunch of folks I didn't like when they were alive. So, I have a nice spot picked out up on a hill overlooking my homestead. My instructions to the funeral home are to put the post hole digger on the back of the Ferguson, Go up there on the hill beside where my old hound is buried between two great big hickory trees and dig a hole. That way, when they have the estate sale, the auctioneer can state that the last time it was used it was in perfect working condition. Cremate my remains, put them in one of those ceramic jugs, drop it down the hole, and cover it up. Place one of those Brass Veteran's plaques over the hole and be done with it. The funeral home tells me that this is perfectly legal and acceptable.


Ana- in MO    Posted 10-20-2002 at 08:12:21       [Reply]  [No Email]
Here in Missouri, if you are buried within 24 hours of death, you do not have to be imbalmed---big savings. Also you can buy cut-rate coffins from dealers. Then we have some cemetaries that still do not charge for the plot---they are free on a first-come-first-get basis. But you have to look for these, they are mostly out in small towns or in the booneys. These usually allow for families to dig their own hole if they want. Do you know a lot of fast diggers? With all this, I'm told that cremation is still the cheapest route. Nothing morbid about planning ahead---everyone dies eventually, hugh? The trick is to be able to do it gracefully.


magpie    Posted 10-20-2002 at 07:01:21       [Reply]  [No Email]
I don't know about being buried on your own land. That might be impossible, but I have heard you can build your own casket saving a lot of money. Funeral homes try to sell you the finest casket they can, playing on your grief to make money. I would prefer a simple pine box, it would rot just as good as a fancy one.


LH    Posted 10-20-2002 at 06:38:28       [Reply]  [No Email]
In Indiana the law requires you be buried in an established cemetery, or else if you want to be buried on your own property, you ahve to set up a trust fund to maintian it for so many years. It's my understanding that was done because there are so many little rundown cemeteries in the middle of old farm fields, etc. The settlers did not have modern laws to worry about or comply with. In those days it seems like they either had cemeteries at established churches, or simply buried loved ones on their property. The regulations also vary widely as to whether the remains have to be embalmed, buried in a casket, or if the casket must be placed in a burial vault.
I age with you that too much money is wasted on funeral expenses. That's why I intend to be cremated, and have my ashes scattered in afavorite place.


LH    Posted 10-20-2002 at 06:38:27       [Reply]  [No Email]
In Indiana the law requires you be buried in an established cemetery, or else if you want to be buried on your own property, you ahve to set up a trust fund to maintian it for so many years. It's my understanding that was done because there are so many little rundown cemeteries in the middle of old farm fields, etc. The settlers did not have modern laws to worry about or comply with. In those days it seems like they either had cemeteries at established churches, or simply buried loved ones on their property. The regulations also vary widely as to whether the remains have to be embalmed, buried in a casket, or if the casket must be placed in a burial vault.
I age with you that too much money is wasted on funeral expenses. That's why I intend to be cremated, and have my ashes scattered in afavorite place.


bob    Posted 10-20-2002 at 06:32:31       [Reply]  [No Email]
The bad thing about being buried on your own land ias the upkeep on grave. My wifes relation has aburial plot on her great grandfathers land. Myself and another counsin keep it mowed but not like would like as is 12 miles one way. I,m not in favor of cremating I do think it is the thing of the future and the cheapest and you can put remains where you want them


Tom A    Posted 10-20-2002 at 04:37:31       [Reply]  [Send Email]
I believe it is, at best, a state-by-state deal. Here in Maryland there was a big hoopla when a father buried his daughter in the backyard (there was some question of foul play, but that turned out to be wrong) so there is/was a push to end ones' ability to be buried on their own land. As I saw it, the funeral parlor operators were behind it, stirring up public sentiment over this 'outrage' and of course most folks who don't bother to learn the truth say 'yeah, yeah let's do it.'

Like you, I'd like to be buried where I want. I have a friend who had his parents cremated (at their request) and used the remains to fertilize their favorite big old tree.

Tom


DeadCarp    Posted 10-20-2002 at 00:40:42       [Reply]  [No Email]
Due to varying water levels, population density and lobbyists, every county might have their own rules. In Mn you can be buried behind the house, yup, provided the law is satisfied there's no foul play or anything. When there's 4 people (i think) in there, you have to fence it and at some point declare it a family cemetary. If money's your object, cremation (without visitation cuz that involves preparation costs again) is about the cheapest route. Then all the extra you pay is around $250 for every time the body is moved. A few people still carve their own stones, that saves $500 too .....

Years ago they had "paupers burials" without all the hoopla, and the remains of epidemic victims were often disposed of by burning.



Grove r    Posted 10-20-2002 at 05:21:22       [Reply]  [No Email]
As DC says, cremation is the cheapest....cost, here, is astronomical for burial, last rights, etc, averages app. seven thou. On the subject of being morbid... not realy, or, it shouldn't be, this is something that we all must face many times during our lifetime, and should be treated as appropriatly, openly. I have dug many graves with my 'hoe at the cemetary just up the road.... some say "oh, how could you do that", easy, most times it is the last thing that I can do for the person, so I take extra care with the whole operation.....from proper dirt piling to carefull shaping of the "mound" on top, to placement of flowers, anchored, so the wind doesn't blow them around, and raking of the area afterwards. Without death, there can be no life.....have a gooder, R.E.L.


HeatherD    Posted 10-20-2002 at 17:21:19       [Reply]  [Send Email]
Thanks, all, especially Grover (R.E.L.) - that was lovely and touching. Well, looks like I'll be checking into the price of cremation around here, and maybe see if they allow that "pauper's burial" thing. I love the "ashes to fertilize a particular tree" idea, too.
I appreciate ALL your comments. This forum is a neat place for someone like me, born and raised a city girl and trying to become good country folk!


Nathan(GA)    Posted 10-20-2002 at 12:18:37       [Reply]  [No Email]
Grove, Your costs are about like here. My wife paid in the mid $8000 range for her Mother's. And it was just average. Then almost $5000 for the cemetary headstone and accessories. This was on the cheap end. The guy had a photo album of finished jobs to look at. Several were approaching $100K. One was $120,000. I told my wife not to spend any more than absolutely neccesary on me.


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