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Country Discussion Topics
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Shucks - folks don't lie when theys a whittlin.
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Bentcrank    Posted 10-25-2002 at 17:24:29       [Reply]  [No Email]
Most you dont know of me, but if'n ye did, well I ain't got yer d*mn middlebuster. Ther glad thats off my chest, becuz one of youu may jest be a neighbor ore kin to me. I m abot sick a tellin my side of that fite.

Every body got a courthouse. Most of em have a bench or 2 under a shade tree. Near all got 2 old men with Case whittlers - uh, that wood be the red pick bone with thet copin blade- an NO mine ain't fer trade nor sale-

The never wus a moore stingy man than Hunter P. an he would only eat them apples that were bruized or wormy fore he ever ate his good uns.
He had bisines at the court with them squwatters on his place an told thhet the judge would talk with him in his chambers. That unsetttles Hunt some so he says he will wait on the man till he comes out to his car at the end o the day. Well
theys some talk bout them boys from nashville thats got them v8 Fords a runnin down the banks an such. The farmers bank was acrost the streeet. We all know this is leegit true. Talmadge S. has a coal route an he cant buy no brakes fer that chaindrive bulldog truck he got. He comes up short on street an long on weight with them fade in braqkes and he goes down some gear or 2 an it makes a backfire. Thet was when Hunter raised a knot with his backside cheeks on that knot free white oak bench. Pinched up nuf wood to carve out a pair of balls in a box they say. Thats what them whittlers say. An one of them got the proof.

Swamp Yankee ROFLMAO    Posted 10-25-2002 at 18:43:15       [Reply]  [No Email]
Can just picture that.

Fawteen - ROFL!    Posted 10-25-2002 at 18:05:59       [Reply]  [No Email]
Good un.

I'se driving a fahr truck one time. Had the worst structure fire we've had since I've been on the department. Got called in at 2AM Christmas Eve Day. Started in the attached garage and got rippin' good enough it set off the smoke detector in the kitchen through two sets of closed doors.

Anyhow, I was shuttling water with our old '65 GMC tanker. Had a gas V6 and a 5+2 in her, and you hadda be a shiftin' fool to make any time with that pig if it had a load of water on it. I started haulin' water at about 2:30, and I was still hard at it at 8:00 the next morning.

We finally got things under control, I dumped my last load of water and toodled up the road to turn around. I should mention that the fire was on the main highway through the area, and traffic was backed up purdy bad as we had the dump tank sittin' right in the middle of the southbound lane.

Anyhoo, I got turned around, and I was just a clutchin' and a shiftin' headed back up the road. Just as I started by the scene on the way back, I thought I heard somebody yell my name, so I clamped on the binders (which acutually worked fairly well with the tank empty) and stuck my head out the winder to see what was up.

About that time I hear an airhorn go off, and looked in my mirror. All I could see was a K-whopper comin' at me with smoke coming offa all 18 wheels.

I'm here ta tell ya, my sphincter muscle slammed shut so hard, my ears popped! It was a 8 mile drive back ta the fire house, and they STILL hadda slip a closet hook between my cheeks and that vinyl seat to break the vacuum lock so's I could get outta the truck...

capbuster    Posted 10-25-2002 at 19:36:04       [Reply]  [Send Email]
I tell you boys that's some mighty fine tales yer tellin. I've not laught this hard in a long time. Do you have anymore?

Fawteen - Well,    Posted 10-25-2002 at 20:15:53       [Reply]  [No Email]
Theys the time a couple years back where we had us a leetle ice storm. Accidents all over the place, Rescue Truck runnin' right steady.

Me'n Lootenant Marty Johnson took a call, hopped in the Rescue and cuffed 'er up the road.

Our Rescue is a Ford F350 Dually 4WD with a utility body on it, and loaded right to the max with equipment. 460 anna 5 speed, she'll hump 'er right down the road.

I was drivin, and I had 'er in 4WD, just eeeeaaasssin' 'er up the road, cuz, Mister, it was SOME slippery out theah!

Doin' maybe 20 or 25 and come up over a little knuckle in the road, with just a mite of a crook to the left. Topped that little knuckle and just tetched the wheel a mite, and around she come. Steered into 'er and drove the clutch to the floah, and just rode 'er out, drivin' by lookin' out the passenger side winder.

No trouble seein' by ol' Marty neither. He was too busy tryin' to crawl inta the glove box to be in the way...

An' ya know, between dumb luck and The Good Lord, we never left the pavement. Come to a stop with the front wheels touching the white stripe, slipped her into reverse, got her squared away and went on in to the scene, just like I did that all the time.

I still take crap about that every now and then down at the firehouse. Notice ol' Marty ain't all that fierce to ride with me anymore either...

Les...ROFLMAOWTIME!!    Posted 10-25-2002 at 18:23:49       [Reply]  [No Email]
To both stories.

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