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Country Discussion Topics
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JoeK    Posted 10-28-2002 at 17:58:42       [Reply]  [No Email]
Porcine humor,snort,grunt-------------------------------------------------
There was once a man from the city who was visiting a small farm, and during this visit he saw a farmer feeding pigs in a most extraordinary manner. The farmer would lift a pig up to a nearby apple tree, and the pig would eat the apples off the tree directly. The farmer would move the pig from one apple to another until the pig was satisfied, then he would start again with another pig. The city man watched this activity for some time with great astonishment. Finally, he could not resist saying to the farmer, "This is the most inefficient method of feeding pigs that I can imagine. Just think of the time that would be saved if you simply shook the apples off the tree and let the pigs eat them from the ground!" The farmer looked puzzled and replied, "What's time to a pig?"

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Pigs are the only mammals besides humans which can be sunburned. A hippopotamus also can get a sunburn. But, than again, a hippopotamus is related to a pig. Pigs cannot sweat.

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What is a crafty pig called? CunningHAM.

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A city boy decided to quit the rat race and bought himself a farm, which included a few sows. He wanted to breed the sows, but had no idea how to go about it. His neighbor volunteered his boars for the job, and told the city boy to bring them over in the pickup the next day. In the afternoon when he went to pick them up, the city boy asked how he would be able to tell if the sows were impregnated. He was told to look and see where they were early in the morning. If they were up on the hill, they were pregnant; if they were in the sty, it hadn't worked. The next morning, he leapt from the bed and looked up the hill, but alas the pigs were down in the mud. Grumbling, he loaded them back into the pickup and headed for the neighbors. The following three mornings were just the same; he would leap from the bed, look up the hill, find the pigs down in the mud and have to return them to the neighbors to let the boars have another shot at them. On the fifth morning, he looked up the hill, and there were no pigs. He looked down in the sty; still no pigs. He called to his wife, "Where the heck are the pigs today?" Amid hysterical laughter, she managed to choke out, "They're down in the truck, and the big one is honking the horn!"


DeadCarp - speaking of hippos    Posted 10-28-2002 at 18:21:01       [Reply]  [No Email]
We were at LA zoo one time and the hippo pen was empty - the guy told me their pair of hippos had been scalded to death by hot water! They had been right next to a playful elephant who apparently reached over the fence and "adjusted" the faucets for them, and the hotter it got, the more they tried to swim and cool off. True story.


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