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Country Discussion Topics
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Spelling
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screaminghollow    Posted 11-01-2002 at 07:26:42       [Reply]  [Send Email]
I recently read some excerpts from old journals, (lewis and Clark) and took notice that spelling was somewhat different then. Apparently, sometime in the middle of the eighteenth century, spelling became standardized and eventually, we ended up with the difficult spelling nightmares that kids have to go through now. I have seen in my life time, the word "employee" become "employe" in many newspapers. Just who decided this "i" before "e" crap. and if bed and head rhyme, why isn't it spelled "hed". otherwise head and bead should rhyme. And why is there an "h" in rhyme? Why do we continue to use silent "k's" like in knock and knowledge. I was trying to help my 9 year old daughter with spelling last night and when she asked these questions, I couldn't give her an answer, other than the "Commie Spelling dictator says so."


UncleAdolph from ze bunker    Posted 11-01-2002 at 10:13:57       [Reply]  [No Email]
The European Commission has just announced an agreement where English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotions, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spellinghad some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would be known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard 'c' will be dropped in favor of the 'k'. This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have one less letter.There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome 'ph' will be replased with the 'f'. This will make words like 'fotograf' 20% shorter! In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expected to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double leters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent 'e' in the language is disgrasful and should go away.

By the 4th year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th' with 'z' and 'w' wiz 'v'. During ze fifz year ze unesesary 'o' kan be droped from words kontaining 'ou' and similar changes vud of kurs be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After ze fifz yer ve vil hav a rali sensible ritn styl. Zer vill be no mor trubl or difikultis and evriun vil find it ezi to undrstand ech ozer.

Zen Z Drem Vil Finali Kum Tru!!!!!



screaminghollow    Posted 11-01-2002 at 11:11:01       [Reply]  [Send Email]
Is Euro English related to Euro Trash?


C.J. in SD    Posted 11-01-2002 at 11:15:07       [Reply]  [No Email]
Sounds like it was thought up by the same people that tried to feed us Ebonics.


If you need a real laugh...    Posted 11-02-2002 at 04:48:38       [Reply]  [Send Email]
Try Esperanto...

Salmoneye


zis shuld an vil maik mai ....    Posted 11-01-2002 at 10:49:33       [Reply]  [Send Email]
inglish so esy tu rait nao. I teik mai hat of for Ze Komision. Hm?? Don't think so..

Patria/of kours


Greg VT    Posted 11-01-2002 at 07:47:24       [Reply]  [No Email]
A coworker was telling me about her eight year old daughter who wrote a book report. Mom looked it over and pointed out that there were many mistakes in spelling. Daughter's answer was "don't worry mom, the spell check will fix that."


Farmer wantabe    Posted 11-01-2002 at 07:35:33       [Reply]  [No Email]
You may have noticed that I use my own non-standardized version. Most of use use the 'puter fer typing and use spell check so I guess that makes Bill Gates in charge of spellen the English language these days. My 10 year old will like the "commie spelling dictator" deal, he don't like the teach anyway.


Rootietoot    Posted 11-01-2002 at 07:33:33       [Reply]  [Send Email]
Wel, it semes dat yur dawter has a pint. I tink the hole speling sitchiashun is a konspirasee bi de edjukashun establishmunt to root owt hoos bin to skool and hoo ain't bin. We wuz teechin owr child to speek German and he sad "Mamma, thay gotta diferent werd fer everithang!"
Tell your little darlin' girl that sometimes things are the way they are because the Commie Dictator says so and to just do what they say and spit behind their backs.


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