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Country Discussion Topics
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Advice on advent of 25th Wedding Anniversary....
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WallSal55    Posted 11-18-2002 at 07:55:51       [Reply]  [No Email]
Anybody have a tough year....when it's supposed to be your 25th? (Jan.)
My husband spent one year grieveing
for his dad, and I shut out a lot for about 9
months of it. (Gee, I could have had another baby in that time! Would have kept me busy, ha, ha!)
I know a marriage counselor told me at the 7
year mark, that the toughest times are at 7 yrs,
10 yrs, 15, and then again at 25. Has all rang
true in this marriage.
I am just trying to hang in there, but somedays I feel like perhaps I have stayed one day too long. Flip back and forth like a fish.
(Of course, husband thinks just like Grover,
that I have everything I ever dreamed of--including him.--While I counted the years, months, weeks, we were married this year.)
The beginning of the 24th yr. started out
rocky, and people were so excited for us that
it was the beginning of our 25th year together!
So, I have been grinning like a Cheshire cat all year! If they only knew!
Just want to know if anybody else had a 25th
that was less than perfect?



Jerry S    Posted 11-19-2002 at 10:12:42       [Reply]  [No Email]
I remember in my premarriage class (second set) that those couples who have a closer spiritual relationship with GOD are much less likely to separate or divorce. Also hear that it takes both to work for a relationship and only 1 to break it. Men and women are not really compatible usually as they work from different angles of emotion and such. BOth need their own space and time plus both need scheduled time together and both need to spice the deal up sometimes. My wife and I like to get each other little cards or notes on the bathroom mirror as one leaves for work sometimes. Need to always settle arguments before going to bed as an unsettled dispute is like a cancer to the relationship. Both must also learn how to fight and what the rules are. Don't drag old mud into a new fight. Can't fix the past. Must also not be afraid to tell the other just what you think and feel even if it will hurt the other's feelings but remind them that even though you say something that hurts, you still love them.
Also don't want to use the intimate part of your relationship (or lack thereof) as a weapon or tool to get something.
I guess if anyone has all the answers, they would also have nail holes in their wrists and feet, huh?


Fawteen    Posted 11-18-2002 at 18:49:53       [Reply]  [No Email]
I've been married 28 years come New Year's Eve. We had one rough patch at about the 10-11 year mark. Wife was going through menopause AND empty nest syndrome, I was having some career issues and boozing off and on, and we were living in a dump while stationed in South Carolina.

We got over it, largely due to a fortuitously timed separation, courtesy of the Navy. I went to Iceland, she came home to Maine. With one thing and another, it was 30 months before we were able to be together for more than 30 days at a time, and by then we'd both grown out of our problems.

We've been right in each other's faces basically 24/7 since then, and other than the usual squabbles, we get along famously. Mostly, I suspect, because we've gotten used to each other's little oddities, and just make allowances accordingly.

BTW, I've been on the wagon since 1990, which certainly hasn't hurt...



WallSal55-- Remarkable, Fawteen    Posted 11-20-2002 at 09:38:08       [Reply]  [No Email]

and congratulations!


Jim (Mi)    Posted 11-18-2002 at 16:37:30       [Reply]  [No Email]
Wall,
I am only 25 and have only 4 years of marriage under my belt. And have definately had our share of problems. So I am not in a position to offer to much advise. I am not sure if you have kids, but if you do; Maybe you could use that to help ya guys out. My wife's dad is on his third marriage, but my parents are on their 29th. We definately try to pattern our marriage after theirs in a lot of ways. And we consistantly ask them for guidance. We look up to them for staying together so long. I know my parents have had rough times, but always took me and my sister into account. Maybe you guys could draw strength from knowing others look up to you guys and make you both realize a lot is at stake, and change things for the better. Also, you have been married so long, use that to help you guys to. Obviously there is something that
keeps ya together. Maybe sit down, go over all the reasons that made you each fall in love with each other, and keep constantly reminding yourselves of that when things get going in the wrong direction. Whatever the case good luck, I hope all goes well. I hope you guys have a big happy 25th party. Me and my sister rented a country club for my parents 25th, and threw them a huge party. It was a absolute blast. Boy were my mom and dad excited. I have never seen them have so much together.Heck, my dad even danced four times that night. His yearly average is
once. :>)



Gimpleg Fagon    Posted 11-18-2002 at 14:54:44       [Reply]  [No Email]
Thinks like grove r, huh.... No Comment!


Grove r    Posted 11-18-2002 at 14:27:47       [Reply]  [No Email]
Well...we were married in 1962....been happily married for two and a half years now.....might even see three....who knows?.....have a gooder, R.E.L.


Tammy E TX    Posted 11-18-2002 at 16:11:17       [Reply]  [No Email]
I was not even born then....


Jake from Jakes Corner, Yukon Territory    Posted 11-18-2002 at 15:12:23       [Reply]  [No Email]
Yup, know what you mean. My first 5 or 6 marriages was like that, then I gave it up. I'm a lot happier since I dedicated my life to raising pineapples full time and just have a part-time girl friend on the side.


Cur Mudgeon    Posted 11-18-2002 at 12:17:21       [Reply]  [No Email]
The 25th anniversary of marriage to my first wife was pure bliss. Course I was married to my second wife at the time this occured. ;>)


WallSal55 - I hear ya....    Posted 11-18-2002 at 12:49:18       [Reply]  [No Email]
The thought can enter one's mind about tradin'
in for a new make and model.
Say, I think I'd rather have a bright, shiny,new blue car!

Thanks for the chuckle!


Tammy E TX    Posted 11-18-2002 at 11:31:29       [Reply]  [No Email]
The only thing I have made 25 years was birthdays...plus...and so I would not be much help to you. I do hope that all goes well with you and your husband! When times get to me I think of my favorite saying: When you get to the end of your rope tie a knot hang on and SWING!
Good Luck!


ger    Posted 11-18-2002 at 16:17:03       [Reply]  [No Email]
if im alive for a 25 yr anniveristy it will be the 8 th wonder of the world but in all sincerinty wallsall i wish you an your hubby all the best an hope you all have many good years a head of ya


ger/ oh no    Posted 11-18-2002 at 16:13:52       [Reply]  [No Email]
now we got swingers on here , grover bob LH help ya gotta git in on this one somebody call hogman tell im , bur what we gonna do


Gary    Posted 11-18-2002 at 09:54:38       [Reply]  [No Email]
Wow... I thought all marriages were less than perfect. I hope things work out for you and your spouse. My wife and I are one year short of 20, hopefully she'll live to see it. We don't know for sure yet, all test results are not in, but Dr suspects she has thyroid cancer. While this is supposed to be a very curable form of cancer, it's so hard for us thinking about going thru this again. 17 years ago it was Hodgekins Disease, a lymphoma. She had two tumors, one in her neck and another in her chest cavity. The radiation therapy was extremely difficult especially for a new mother of only 6 weeks. But she made it through, and hopefully will beat this one too. So here's to 20 years and plus anniversaries. We pray we make it to ours.


WallSal55    Posted 11-18-2002 at 11:15:30       [Reply]  [No Email]
Cancer runs in my husbands families for throat, espohogus, colon, prostrate.
(I cannot even get him to get a checkup at 45.)

Anyway, I wish you the best possible outcome.


LH    Posted 11-18-2002 at 08:39:53       [Reply]  [No Email]
Havent made it to 25 yet, but on the 20th (this year) the wife decided she wanted a divorce. She has since backed off and we are still living in the same house but thats about it


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