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To quit or not to quit..
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egg lady    Posted 01-07-2003 at 09:15:12       [Reply]  [No Email]
I want to quit my good paying job and be a stay at home mom. period. I will get as much paid off as possible within the shortest period of time possible, then, it's curtains for the night shift. We live on an old MacDonalds farm, garden, canning, home butchering,soap making, sewing, homeschool two kids, milk goats, sell surplus eggs, (all of which I do). I can be frugal. Am I gonna regret cutting our security cord? My husband has never supported this family on his own. I've carried us for over 15 years. I want to be mom for the little bit of time I have left before the kids leave home. Am I being selfish to consider this? I would appreciate some good arguments against, or strong support for this. Please.

egg lady says thanks!    Posted 01-09-2003 at 04:20:09       [Reply]  [No Email]
Just found out from hubby that his job will take $80.00 out of each weeks check to pay for our health insurance. That's like a truck payment each month! And right now as it stands, my job pays for our health insurance. (if I keep the same hours) Guess that settles that!

Thanks anyway for the encouragement from all of those who responded. You're a lovely crowd!

Willy-N    Posted 01-07-2003 at 21:44:25       [Reply]  [No Email]
My wife has done it for allmost 17 years now. I have been working 80% at home for around 6 years and we are not about to change now. Just remember it is harder to work on your own then to work for someone else. But I could not go back to a 40 hour a week job and time clock. Of couse I think I punched a time clock for a few weeks as a teenager (long time ago) once. You never know till you try it. Mark H.

Greg G    Posted 01-07-2003 at 20:37:22       [Reply]  [Send Email]
I only got one opinion about to share, DO IT, your kids are only going to be kids once, never again. If you can then yes stay at home, you wont regret it. My wife works but she works at the school our kids go to so thats kind of a compromise. If all goes well then she is gonna quit when they leave the school she is at.
I am a police officer and i see the results of the two working parent family and its pretty sad and scary.
Hope this helps a little

DeadCarp    Posted 01-07-2003 at 17:42:37       [Reply]  [No Email]
Work is one of my favorite subjects, egg lady - i could talk about it all day! :)

Seriously, let's stand back a bit - the rest of the world shakes their heads at us, cuz we're so hung up on work. If the sun's shining, they're probably out where we wish we were! So we hafta figure that out.

We see threats of strikes all over and they're supposedly significant - why is that?

Well, really the big thing that an employer has to offer is compensation,(wages, benefits, freebies)right?

And the biggest thing we have to offer is our time (call it attention, care, skills, expertise - it all takes time)! So when the workers strike, they threaten to take away their time, in the hopes of better compensation.

Why is time valuable to an employer? Cuz he CAN'T do the whole thing himself - the job is so big, he has to offer compensation and hope to entice somebody else to TRADE him some of their time!

What's that time worth to the worker? Ahh now we're getting somewhere - that time is VERY rare and valuable and don't you forget it! I swear, i was about 18 when i went to sleep the other nite - woke up and i was dam near 60 - that's how fast it goes! Don't believe me? Ask the people in the nursing home. Oh yeah! :)

Think about it - weekends are so much fun and we look forward to them right? Well you should! And you should cherish them and savor them and even find some good in the week between! And in every hour, minute and second too. Why? You only get 3000-4000 weekends IN A LIFETIME! That's it and you're gone. Doesn't matter how many people you impressed or how many mansions you had or anything - that all boils down to a handful of flowers on your grave for a few years.

So after saying all that - my only advice, egg lady, is don't even waste your time trying to bicker over the family's habits - you just take the time to enjoy yours! BTW, there's a darn good reason we're too hungup on work - it's called "Protestant work ethic" if you wanna do a search.

Lynch in E.TX    Posted 01-07-2003 at 16:36:20       [Reply]  [Send Email]
It does a person good to sit down and put a pen or in this case a keyboard to work and write out a problem...they usually answer it for themselves. Lynch

WallSal55 - No you are not selfish...    Posted 01-07-2003 at 13:17:04       [Reply]  [No Email]
If you have the opportunity to not work, and spend
time with your kids, go for it. If you have to
get back to work in the future, so be it.
You will have had time w/the kids and they w/you.
Nothing can replace that or be more precious!

BC    Posted 01-07-2003 at 12:31:55       [Reply]  [No Email]
We both worked,the wife and I, until our daughter was born, my wife quit her job to be a stay at home Mom. Its been a bit hard,my income is not great but we manage. I drive a 9 yr. old truck but our home is happy. Its has now turned into where we home school and its now 13 yrs.since we have survived on one income. We both were raised with our mothers at home and so it carries on.I find there is more to the deal than a bigger hou$e,new vehicles and toys.Our girl is well behaved and quite mature for her age and the thing is how fast time flies.Looking back,it was the right thing to do.

kraig WY    Posted 01-07-2003 at 10:43:43       [Reply]  [No Email]
My hat's off to you lady if you decide to stay at home with your kids. The relationship you develope with your children is going to be worth more the all the money and perks you could get by working. The more time you spend with your children the better chance you develop their values then some stranger.

God Bless You for concidering this.

cowgirlj    Posted 01-07-2003 at 10:37:33       [Reply]  [Send Email]
Being opinionated here, but what the heck!
Egg Lady, don't let this turn into a debait. This is a personal decision to be made from the heart. It involves you and your husband, and your kids.
I was a stay at home Mom untill all my kids were in school full time. There were times when we half starved, bills went unpaid, and stress was high, but I still would not trade those years together for nothin'! You never know what life is going to throw at you, or what the future holds. Listen to your heart and live with no regrets! If you have faith, all the rest will work out. And yes, you may go through a few hard times....isn't that what builds character? Ask your Grand parents!

Cindi    Posted 01-07-2003 at 09:53:33       [Reply]  [Send Email]
I don't know what type of time is invloved in homeschooling, but maybe you could watch a couple kids days at your house, or after school and still bring in a few dollars to offset the income loss, that's what I did. I also started a grocery shoping service and made a little doing that. That you can do evenings when dad's at home.

Salmoneye    Posted 01-07-2003 at 09:42:01       [Reply]  [Send Email]
I have been at home with our Daughter for 5 years...she just started Kindergarten last fall...

I made sure that our house was paid off first...We drive old junkers that we own a big some junk on eBay...Working towards a small sugaring operation...Wife works a few days a week next door for the local GP Doc to keep some of the bills taken care of...

Not saving anything at this point, but would not trade money for the time spent with family and the land...

If we had a mortgage still, I would be back in the corporate world...going crazy...having no time for family...making money hand over fist...Whoop-di stinkin doo...I just came in from getting The Girl off the bus...We spent 10 minutes half way back up the drive sliding on our bellies down the piles of snow I made with my 55 year old tractor this weekend...


Ya pays yur admission, and ya takes yur chances...

What's the worst that happens to ya?...You have to go back to work?...Cross that bridge when you come to it...

Life is Wayyyyyyy too short...

My buck and a halfs' worth...

Gary, Mt. Hermon, La.    Posted 01-07-2003 at 09:38:50       [Reply]  [No Email]
First of all, I wish I could do exactly the same but alas, I am the primary wage earner in our home.
Now, in your case Id consider these things...

1. Who carries the health insurance?
2. Is your husbands job secure, i.e. economic downturns, layoffs, closures etc.
3. Is your home and land paid for?
4. Iz your savings account capable of supporting your family, (frugally of course), for 4 to 6 months.
5. Are you and your husband willing to (let's say Do Without luxury items (whatever you consider those to be)) if necessary.
6. Most importantly, If you're gonna cut income, you gotta cut expenses. Make a realistic financial plan to live on your reduced household income and still be able to save for unexpected events.

Good luck

Pigster    Posted 01-07-2003 at 09:38:32       [Reply]  [Send Email]
Observations from a stay at home dad.

Be sure both parties feelings are considered. The out of home workers situation changes too. They can feel trapped, taken advantage of, lots of pressure especially in these uncertain times.

Look realistically at your costs and finances. I simply can't seem to break $1/lb chicken even hatching the eggs mine produce. Many of the benefits derived from our lifestyle are intangible. I don't get much pride from buying 50cent a pound chicken at the store. But also take a good look at the costs of two people working in terms of transportation, wardrobe, childcare, etc. these should go down. I think many people work outside the home for a VERY low wage once these costs are considered. Our society frowns on people who don't have a paycheck to cash each week.

One factor that works for us is that I remodel build around the place here. Cutting outside services that you are paying for now can add up - remember to look at the tax impact too. To be able to pay someone $100 you have to earn $125.00(the $100 plus $25 income tax paid).

Keep your options open and don't be afraid to admit it didn't work should anyone in the family change their mind down the road apiece.

Donna from Mo    Posted 01-07-2003 at 09:41:22       [Reply]  [No Email]
Wonderful advice, and well stated!

Donna from Mo    Posted 01-07-2003 at 09:19:36       [Reply]  [Send Email]
I was a stay-at-home mom while my kids were growing up, and I'm glad; but we did without a lot of things. You aren't selfish: however, you are the only one who can do the paperwork, weigh all your priorities, and figure out if you can manage your finances without holding down a job. If you are a home-schooling mom, you certainly NEED to have the time at home!

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