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Some rules of Life
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kraig WY    Posted 01-19-2003 at 19:52:21       [Reply]  [Send Email]
Sometimes we just need to remember WHAT the Rules of Life really are....

1. Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas.

2. You need only two tools. WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the tape.

3. The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship "I apologize" and "You are right."

4. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

5. When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It's easier to eat crow while it's still warm.

6. The only really good advice that your mother ever gave you was, "Go! You might meet somebody!"

7. If he/she says that you are too good for him/her--believe them.

8. Learn to pick your battles; ask yourself, 'Will this matter one year from now? How about one month? One week? One day?'

9. Never pass up an opportunity to pee.

10. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!

11. Living well really is the best revenge. Being miserable because of a bad or former relationship just might mean that the other person was right about you.

12. Work is good, but it's not that important.

13. And finally... Be really nice to your friends. You never know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan.

Buckeroo Banzai    Posted 01-20-2003 at 04:27:01       [Reply]  [Send Email]
"No matter where ya go...There ya are"


Nan(TX)    Posted 01-19-2003 at 20:28:05       [Reply]  [Send Email]
These are some of my favorite quotes and bumper stickers I have seen.

Rule 11. Never ever argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level then beat you with experience.
13. Who ever yanks your chain, holds your chain
14. The higher we soar, the smaller we appear to those who cannot fly
15. Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever
16. You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone
17. Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away
18. Listen, strange women, lyin' in ponds, distributin' swords, is no basis for a system of government.
19. I can complain because rosebushes have thorns, or rejoice because thornbushes have roses; it's all how you look at it.
20. Choose your friends carefully. Your enemies will choose you.
21. A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic
22. Failure is not an option. It comes bundled with the software
23. I used to Be Schizophrenic, but We're OK Now
24.Remember Old Age Comes at a Bad Time
25. HONK If You Want To See My Finger
26.Keep honking while I reload
27. It is better to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission
28 War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

Dave    Posted 01-20-2003 at 07:31:43       [Reply]  [No Email]
I know I risk showin my lack of schoolin, but I don't get #18.

Monty Python And The Holy Grail Nan(TX)    Posted 01-20-2003 at 08:32:23       [Reply]  [Send Email]
Monty Python And The Holy Grail
King of Swamp Castle: This is supposed to be a happy occasion. Let's not argue about who killed who.
Arthur: I am your king!
Woman: Well I didn't vote for you!
Arthur: You don't vote for kings.
Woman: Well how'd you become king then?
Arthur: The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering silmite held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. That is why I am your king!
Dennis interrupting: Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government! Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony!

walt    Posted 01-20-2003 at 09:26:09       [Reply]  [No Email]
Badges? Badges? We dont need no stinking Badges!!

Dave    Posted 01-20-2003 at 08:54:54       [Reply]  [No Email]
Ok, I got it. I never was real big on that movie. I think I saw it a time or two, but in them days.....well, let's just say I'm just glad to be here right now. In other words I don't remember a whole lot about it ;)

Can't resist a mini story here:
We'z mean to this one friend once. We went in to a midnite showin of the movie it waz winter time so our coat pockets were stuffed full of beer bottles and this one guy always passes out. (course wez already tosty when we entered) Well, the movie was packed so we didn't get to all sit together, and Jason sat on the front row and passed out. Well, we forgot about him and left. Well, he woke up to the police pokin him in the ribs. I think they called his parents or somethin, seems like we'z bout 18 or 19 maybe even 20. Anyway he didn't get in a whole lotta trouble, just enough to make him good and mad at us....Poor Jason.

walt    Posted 01-20-2003 at 07:37:08       [Reply]  [No Email]
King Arthur, Lancelot...Ex-Caliber.

Salmoneye    Posted 01-20-2003 at 07:49:11       [Reply]  [Send Email]
Dang Watery Tarts...

I look the swamps over real good every time I go shooting fish, and I still can't catch a break...

Oops how could I forget Jimi Hendrix Nan(TX)    Posted 01-19-2003 at 21:31:42       [Reply]  [Send Email]
I'm the one that has to die when it's time for me to die, so let me live my life, the way I want to.
-- Jimi Hendrix

Dave    Posted 01-19-2003 at 20:05:19       [Reply]  [No Email]
One more comes to mind:
If ya hafta eat a frog...well, ya just don't wanna look at that sucker too long. (interpretaion: don't procrastinate)

Stoney Jim    Posted 01-19-2003 at 19:58:29       [Reply]  [No Email]
# 10- If you are still standing at sunset- you have had a good day!

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