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Thieving pig
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Cindi    Posted 02-24-2003 at 05:54:39       [Reply]  [Send Email]

Youíd think Iíd learn. That at some point I would sigh and say, this is something I have no control over, and just let it happen. But I canít! Itís not in me. Iím referring to our sow Hannah. I know sheís a pig, and theyíre called pigs for a reason, but Hannah exemplifies every nasty thing anyone ever said about pigs. Sheís greedy, sheís a glutton, sheís underhanded and sneaky and if thatís not enough, sheís a thief. Yes I said thief.

This pig is very well fed. Sheís gone beyond chubby to fat, but that doesnít stop her from acting like sheís starving to death. Iíve shown her statistics, trying to be gentle.

ďHannah, honey, youíre a blimp. You need to lay off.Ē

She just shrugs it off, and continues her nasty behavior. Hannah discovered several months ago that despite her girth she is able to wriggle her way under the fence from one pasture to the next. This is how she perpetrates her crime. She waits until I am not looking and strikes like a snake, nailing that extra loaf of bread or not quite empty bag of feed.

Then the chase is on. I donít want to try to count how many times I have chased her across the pasture screaming, threatening all kinds of retribution while she runs, and despite the fact that sheís fat and ungainly, manages to outrun me every time, all the while lugging a loaf of bread or feed bag.

Sheís learned that she only needs to run so far before I give out and then itís just a matter of finding the weak spot in the wrapper and the prize is hers. If anyone ever tells you that pigs arenít intelligent animals, donít believe them.

She not only found her escape route, but she knows the precise moment my back will be turned, exactly which end of the feed wagon to snatch from as one end is higher than the other, just how far out of reach to be to avoid a well placed kick, exactly how fast I can run and how far. Plump, yes. Dumb, no.

Why havenít I fixed the fence, some may ask. Why isnít she contained where she canít get out? There must be a way to prevent this daily routine. Well, Iím sure there is, and if I tried hard enough Iím sure I could find it. But, being just that hardheaded I know that one day sheíll slip up. Sheíll misjudge the kick range, or drop that loaf of bread, or snag it on the side of the wagon, botching her getaway, and thatís when Iíll have her. Itís not about fixing it where it wonít happen. Itís about revenge, and Iím not above it.

Jimbob    Posted 02-24-2003 at 21:25:35       [Reply]  [No Email]
I heard the only animals smarter than a pig is a Porpoise and some Parrots.

Ludwig    Posted 02-24-2003 at 08:37:13       [Reply]  [No Email]
Hot wire dangling on the low end of the feed wagon.

TB    Posted 02-24-2003 at 11:50:42       [Reply]  [No Email]
I like it:) an animal like this a person could have some fun with first.

Cindi    Posted 02-24-2003 at 11:53:36       [Reply]  [No Email]
Yeah! I can relate. There's all that 'getting even' to take care of.

TB    Posted 02-24-2003 at 06:20:17       [Reply]  [No Email]
Place the double wrapped ones where it is easiest for her to get. hehehe.

Cindi    Posted 02-24-2003 at 06:29:44       [Reply]  [Send Email]
Yes, the highlight of the sport, when she can't get that second wrapper open. Too funny. She pouts. But the bread is still usually squashed and all crumby. It goes to the chickens. She watches with her heart in her eyes. Dumb pig.

t    Posted 02-24-2003 at 06:59:24       [Reply]  [No Email]
Of corse you could change your ruteen and do her last to see what she does:)

Cindi    Posted 02-24-2003 at 07:02:11       [Reply]  [Send Email]
I know and I thought of that, and if it didn't mean this huge trip all the way around to get back to her I would do that. But I'm lazy, what can I say.

TB    Posted 02-24-2003 at 07:08:30       [Reply]  [No Email]
Tie a fast a lofe with a 3 or 4' cord. Could be good sport:).

Cindi    Posted 02-24-2003 at 08:02:40       [Reply]  [Send Email]
HEY! You are one smart cookie. I never thought of that. That made me laugh because it would work. It may sound awful but if I could give her one GOOD kick I think she might hesitate next time. I'm going to try that tomorrow! Thanks!

Red Dave    Posted 02-24-2003 at 05:57:19       [Reply]  [No Email]
Bacon - the ultimate revenge

Cindi    Posted 02-24-2003 at 06:27:09       [Reply]  [No Email]
Lol! Amen. If she wasn't such a good mom, she'd be bacon by now.

Are you going to butcher her out someday? Jimbob nt    Posted 02-24-2003 at 21:28:28       [Reply]  [No Email]

Cindi    Posted 02-25-2003 at 03:40:53       [Reply]  [No Email]
I don't know, Jimbob, she's a good breeding pig. If she keeps throwing down babies as well as she is now we'll probably keep her four or five years. Don't know if she'll be any good by then. What do ya'll think.

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