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Country Discussion Topics
To add your comments to this topic, click on one of the 'Reply' links below.

About kids fighting in school....or, the good old days
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Cindi    Posted 02-26-2003 at 19:13:58       [Reply]  [No Email]
When my oldest daughter was in first grade she was being tormented by another kid. He abused her daily and I reported it almost as often. This went on for several weeks and I kept being assured that the problem was taken care of. One Sunday night I was washing her hair in the tub and she just burst into tears.

"I don't want to go to school tomorrow. That kid is going to hurt me again."

I lost it. I'll never forget that moment. I took her soapy little hand and I showed her how to make a fist and told her just where to plant it. The next day I got a phone call from the school. Come get your child, she struck a student and he's bleeding. She may be suspended. First grade. Well, kiss my as*. I went down there with the list of dates of when we had reported his behavior and to whom. You guys didn't do anything, so we did. How ugly do you want this thing to get? No suspension, and Jill never had another problem with the kid, or any other kid that I can recall. Document everything.

Some kids will only respond to getting their clock cleaned. Nothing a bully hates worse than someone who will fight back.

On the flip side, there was the day my son needed his as* torn up for bullying another child. They called and asked me to come speak to him. Second grade I think. I came equipped with paddle. Asked for a room with some privacy. Was told I was not allowed to do that on school property. Fine, I say, I'll take him home and wear his butt out. So I did. Longest ride of his life. You are suposed to provide a child who will fit into the required mold but are not supposed to use the means needed to get there. I had my rear end torn up one more than one occasion as a kid and I am the better person for it.


Lynch    Posted 02-27-2003 at 10:34:04       [Reply]  [Send Email]
Ditto! My sister's boy...my god son...got choked by a kid at school...1st grade also....come to find out that the same kid(a boy) has assaulted at least 3 other kids really badly, almost disfiguring a girl's face, and has never been disaplined for it...my sister asked what they were going to do with the kid and the school said "nothing yet"...my sister said she wanted him out of there for at least one day...I told her since he was choked and not just hit or punched that she should call the police and report it...That would get the parents and the school a visit from a squad car and get their attention...I would have at least made the kid's parents pay for the doctor visit...Haven't heard any more about it lately...Sad, but I told her to sue the school and the kid's parents if anything happened again because of their lack of action...and to do what you said, AND ALWAYS RECORD THE NAMES AND DATES AND INCIDENTS...I just wrote him a little letter last week, and can't wait to hear from him...he's my lil fishing buddy...
Sad thing is that the kid LEARNED how to choke people from someone...hopefully not his parents...Her boy's school has cameras on the buses, but not in the school itself.


Randy    Posted 02-27-2003 at 04:17:47       [Reply]  [Send Email]
The one fight I had back in school was in 6th or 7th grade. The kid was bigger but at the bus stop I gave him a bloody nose. I had won the fight, except his nose quit bleeding in 2 minutes and my finger hurt for a week!


Cindi    Posted 02-27-2003 at 04:54:20       [Reply]  [No Email]
Focus more on what prompted the fight to begin with than how bad your finger hurt. You'll find peace about it. God helps those who help themselves. You strike me as the tyoe of guy who would only resort to violence as a last resort.


Randy    Posted 02-27-2003 at 05:17:27       [Reply]  [Send Email]
Yes, at that moment I realized we both lost the fight. Then in my early 20s I was a bouncer at a bar. Interesting job for a non drinker. But very few times did I ever have to touch somebody. Talk them out the door, easier on both of us. I used to blame it on the owner. Please leave, you know she'll just yell at me if you don't! Usually worked.


Cindi    Posted 02-27-2003 at 05:44:11       [Reply]  [No Email]
A peaceful solution is always better, I agree. Just not always possible.


gatractorman    Posted 02-27-2003 at 02:40:48       [Reply]  [No Email]
Same deal here, my son had some trouble with a kid at the beginning of this school year, first few times I told him to tell the teacher, he said he did but it still did not stop, so I told him to just hit him back then, that worked, the bully went crying to the teacher that my son hit him, I figured we would have a big to-do with the school but we didn't, the teacher told my wife about it when she picked our son up that day, said she had sent notes to the other kid's parents about it but they were not doing anything to fix the problem apparently, I told my son if he goes looking for trouble I would bust his rear, but if he is defending himself I would have absolutely no problem with that.


Cindi    Posted 02-27-2003 at 09:45:03       [Reply]  [No Email]
So the teacher was trying to do something the parents were not. Or at least not where it was obvious. Gotta do what you gotta do.


Duey (IA)    Posted 02-26-2003 at 21:03:00       [Reply]  [Send Email]
Cindi,
Schools need more of that kind of parental backup. When my son was about 8 the principal assigned bus seats. Well the kid next to my son was always picken on him but my son always got into trouble when the driver looked up to see what the ruckes was and was caught when he was hitting back. I sent a note with my son for the principal to assign him a different seat. The principal said my son had to learn to get along. A week later I got a call to come and get my son because he had a problem on the bus and he couldn't ride the bus home! I asked if the principal had honored my request for a change of seating on the bus. He said no! I told him that my son liked a soft bed and big breakfast and since he had continued the problem on the bus by not reasigning my son a different seat, it was his responsibility to get him home or put him up for the night and send him home on the bus the next day. 20 minutes later my son was home and had a new seat on the bus!!!


Cindi    Posted 02-26-2003 at 21:15:00       [Reply]  [No Email]
Lol! Why do we have to resort to this? Big breakfast and a soft bed. That's pretty good.


Paul    Posted 02-26-2003 at 20:48:17       [Reply]  [Send Email]
Cindi and the group, in my work I see a lot of this. As a kid growing up, I took a lot of pushing in the first few grades of school. I finally had enough, and accidentally gave the school bully a bloody nose. After that, there were no more problems even through Jr. High, and Sr. High. By the way, I had him in a head lock, and thought he was about to change plans for my future famliy with his fist. I brought my leg up to cover the jewels, and caught him in the nose. It worked! Now, as a Texas Peace Officer, I am called to situations at schools all the time. Usually parents or school officials want to file criminal charges when someone "protects" themself. If this is the case, we have to investigate, and allow the charges. I personally would jsut as soon most of them be settled as mine was. However with all the other problems we have, we would have to have full safety gear, and licensed referee's present as well as insurance, and then a protest committee... I have a son who is 32, a son who is 22, a step-daughter who is 22, and an 8 year old at home. Each has had their troubles at school. The schools have been notified. The schools were given a "warning" as to what could happen if they did not intervene. The kids usually took care of the problems, instead of ME showing up in place of my wife. I admire parents who care for their kids, and who look after them to have a good manner about them in public as well as at home. By the way, the 32 year old still gets chills if my voice changes, or I clear my throat in a certain way. Take care of those babies, no matter how old they are, they only come along once!


Dave 2N    Posted 02-26-2003 at 19:55:35       [Reply]  [Send Email]
Cindi-

You did the right thing. We had the same problem. Did all the right things, called the principal, met with the super and nothing good came of it. Finally told my son I would back him if it was necessary. One day the tormentor met my son as he got off the bus. They had a fight and my son "cleaned his clock." Another meeting with the super who started lecturing my son and my wife and myself about violence with total disregard for the tormentor's history in this whole issue. I came unglued and had it out with him verbally right there. He backed down, there was no suspension and the tormentor never caused trouble again.


Cindi    Posted 02-26-2003 at 20:47:14       [Reply]  [No Email]
Yeah I've had that lecture. 'We can't allow this kind of violence to go on in our school'. Well guess what bud, it's been going on, difference is, it's been one-sided until now.


Burrhead    Posted 02-26-2003 at 19:49:52       [Reply]  [No Email]
AMEN Sister.

It works fairly well with grownups too.


Maggie/TX    Posted 02-26-2003 at 20:08:56       [Reply]  [No Email]
Amen to Cindi AND Burr!! :)


Jim in Michigan    Posted 02-26-2003 at 19:44:50       [Reply]  [Send Email]
I agree,,,my dad would give us a good whoopin, but only if it was needed,,now I see kids to things that are horrible and nothing gets done,,my nieces are brats,,I love them, but they are awful, they dont get disciplined other then sent to their room, well they have Tv with cable , video games and a stereo in there,,doesnt work,, ,,,Jim


Burrhead    Posted 02-26-2003 at 19:57:17       [Reply]  [No Email]
I got one dotter in law that does the time out regime and one that will tear her childrens butt up with a switch.

The 2 time out g-kids are little heathens around their Mama, and say HUH?? to you when you speak to them. They don't get by with that around me.

The 2 g-kids that get heat treatments to the butt say Sir?? to you and if a grownup says sumthing around the kiddoes you hear the air brakes come on and they find out what you are saying.


Cindi    Posted 02-26-2003 at 20:44:27       [Reply]  [No Email]
I really feel for teachers and other school officials. They have no authority and are stuck with these kids running the schools. Jill once said to me, I hate that teacher, I don't have to do what he says and he can't make me.

After she got through crying we had a nice talk about respect for authority figures.

I'm sick of all the physcho-babble about self esteem...blah, blah, blah, yaddah yaddah yaddah.

Use positive reinforcment. Spanking lowers the self esteem.

Self esteem is highly over-rated if you ask me.

Respect for ones self is what you get from being honorable, honest, decent. Kids today are so busy running around wild that they wouldn't know self-esteem if it ran up and bit them in the but.

Honestly though, most people I know have gone back to the old school methods. Spare the rod, spoil the child. Maybe there's hope for the generation after this one.


Redneck    Posted 02-28-2003 at 03:12:01       [Reply]  [No Email]
To get respect a parent or teacher needs to give respect.I have agreed with everything yall have said and have went thru that with my kids and bullys etc.What I have trouble with is what has just happened to my youngest son who is a senior this year.A substitute teacher,who not a kid in the school likes(even her own),Got my son expelled for two days because she had pushed him to the point of cussing.Not at her,just in getting mad enough to cuss.It ain't over yet,but every kid in the class has said the same thing,that the teacher is a B**** and that she has set her sights on my son from the get go.He was in to sports and she hates anything to do with sports so that was a sore point to start with.

I am from the old school and when I am wrong,I will be the first to admitt it,but when I am wronged I will also be the one not to forget it.


Cindi    Posted 02-28-2003 at 07:10:49       [Reply]  [No Email]
Absolutley. That's the problem with Jake. He never forgets a slight.


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