Posted 06-26-2003 at 19:27:53
[Reply] [No Email]
Because of misunderstandings that frequently develop when Easterners and
Californians cross states such as Arkansas, Ohio, Indiana, Wisconsin,
Kansas, Iowa, Michigan, Missouri, Minnesota, North Dakota, South
Colorado; those states' Tourism Councils have adopted a set of
In an effort to help outsiders understand the Midwest, the following
list will! be handed
to each driver entering the state:
1. That farm boy standing next to the feed bin did more work before
breakfast than you do all week at the gym.
2. It's called a 'gravel road. No matter how slow you drive, you're
going to get dust on your Navigator. I have a four wheel drive because I
need it. Drive it or get it out of the way.
3. We all started hunting and fishing when we were seven years old.
Yeah, we saw Bambi. We got over it.
4.. Any references to "corn fed" when talking about our women will get
you whipped... by our women.
5. Go ahead and bring your $600 Orvis Fly Rod. Don't cry to us if a
flathead catfish breaks it off at the handle. We have a name for those
little trout you fish for...bait.
6. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.
7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards are making their
approach, we will shoot it.! You might hope you don't have it up to
ear at the time.
8. That's right. Whiskey is only two bucks. We can buy a fifth for
you paid in the airport for one drink.
9. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order steak. Order
rare. Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the two pounds
ham and turkey.
10. You bring Coke into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served
11. So you have a sixty-thousand dollar car you drive on weekends.
real impressed. We have quarter of a million dollar combines that we
two weeks a year.
12. Let's get this straight. We have one stoplight in town. We stop
it's red. We may even stop when it's yellow.
13. Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks-because they want to. So,
you're a feminist. Isn't that cute.
14. Yeah, we eat catfish. Carp too-----and turtle. You really want
and caviar? It's available at the bait shop.
15. They are pigs. That's what they smell like. Get over it. Don't
Interstates 70, 80, 90 go two ways-Interstates 29 and 35 go the other
two. Pick one and use it accordingly.
16. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a
holiday. You can get a pancake breakfast at the church and your gun
17. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being friendly.
Understand the concept?
18. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit in the water hazard. It
19. That Highway Patrol Officer that just pulled you over for driving
like an idiot......his name is "Sir"...no matter how old he is.
Now, enjoy your visit !