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To add your comments to this topic, click on one of the 'Reply' links below.

What would you do? Need Advice
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KellyGa    Posted 07-13-2003 at 17:58:02       [Reply]  [Send Email]
THere is a little girl, her name is Brandy, and she lives about 5 houses up from us. She is always trying to play with Shelby, my daughter, but I won't let them play together, and Shelby does not want to play with her because she has head lice ALL the time. She has yet to infest us, and I realize Brandy is just a child, and her home life does not help matters, but something has to be done. She has infested one other little girl in the neighborhood 4 times needless to say her dad says she can't play with Brandy anymore. Then there is another that was infected just by playing outside with her, ( the grandmother would not allow them indoors because she knew of Brandys situation) Well, now she can't play with her either, then there is my daughters best friend in the neighborhood who got it several times, from her, so she can't and won't go near her either. Her dad is always in jail for something, and her mom just uses her as maid when she stays with her, so she stays with her grandfather, which looks to be at least 70. The girl does not know when to take a hint that Shelby is not interested in playing with her. Yesterday she caught us outside all day because I was having the yard sale, but she always wants to lean on you and touch on you, invade your personal space, well she touched Shelbys head yesterday,and hung her head over Shelbys also when they looked at a book. Needless to say, my Mama went straight home to take a bath, and Shelby and I stripped down and threw our clothes out the door and both took a very thourough bath. I think we are safe, but my Mama says she feels sorry for the girl, and that we ought to do something. She has had head lice for several YEARS! Her grandfather can't be dumb to that fact! I guess he has it too? ANyway, my Mama wanted to go up and talk to the man and explain to him that something had to be done. I told her I would walk up there with her and she could do the talking because I tend to get people offended and mad at me when I try to say things like that to them. I guess I don't use the right words. But Mama wanted to find out first if Karen (SHelbys best friends mother) had spoken to the man about her head lice. Well, come to find out she did mention it to him, told him he should check Brandys head for lice, what happened after that nobody knows. So, he knows she has it. So theres no point in telling him again. Supposedly during school time, if the child has repeated chronic head lice, they are reported to DEFACS, but I have been told by people that her school never checks for it. Shelby does not go to Clayton County schools, I would home school her before that happened. She goes over in Henry County. So nobody wants to play with this girl, nobody can go in her house especially. How do we go about helping this 9 year old girl? Do I print up info off the internet to educate the grandfather on lice and how to get rid of them, and anonymously stick it in his mailbox? Do I call the Health Department? DEFACS? What would you do? Thanks for y'alls advice in advance.

WallSal55    Posted 07-14-2003 at 14:53:41       [Reply]  [No Email]
Get the schools involved. Our mom's PTO group
did monthly head checks of the kids, sent info
home to parents to check, drew attention to
the serious outbreak. School nurse was involved too. This really helped.
We found out that the kids would pass it on
so easily by their hats, clothes! (playing dress up and how the clothing is hung up in the classroom--individual lockers are best).
The little ones like to be best buds--and hug and
bump heads--so it's important to tell them not
to do that!

screaminghollow    Posted 07-14-2003 at 10:06:07       [Reply]  [No Email]
I get sad everytime I hear of a little kid being ostracized. Grandad is probably doing what he can, without knowing what needs to be done. (Especially if there is no grandma around.) There's not much of a tactful way to suggest to someone that they got lice and have to clean the entire house no matter what age they are. A very wealthy suburb of DC had a 35% infection rate at the highschool, about six years ago. No matter how clean the house, the kids can get it. My daughter, along with several of her class mates, got head lice at her nursery school and the school sent home a letter explaining the precautions to be taken. Apparently you don't need a lice shampoo, some stuff called Dippity Doo will kill head lice. We washed everything in the house and washed the linens almost daily for a week. Pain in the..... When my wife was gravely ill a few years back, just for a few minutes, I thought about trying to raise my daughter alone, it's a scary thought.
Sounds like Grandad has his hands real full and could use some help, not necessarily from some government agency knocking at the door. That should be a last resort.

Sid    Posted 07-14-2003 at 05:14:51       [Reply]  [No Email]
I like Maggies idea better than the rest it seems anymore all people want to do is call the authorities . I think things work much better when we get involved ourself when possible. something to consider is a shampoo and bath party for the kids let her learn first hand what it is like to be clean then offer to help Grand dad as suggested, having experienced the alternative will probably give the little girl a chance to learn how to help herself and Grandfather as well. Just my two pennies worth.

Maggie/TX    Posted 07-14-2003 at 13:24:37       [Reply]  [No Email]
I am not real big on calling the authorities unless it is a last resort. Too often, the authorities let kids "fall through the cracks," and they are worse off than before by then.

I called Children's Protective Services in Houston one time about a case of gross neglect and I knew it to be a fact that there was neglect going on. CPS called the mom in question and let her know when they were coming out to see about it! Of course, everything looked like the homelife on Leave It To Beaver when they got there, so they closed the case. A few years later, the little girl, who was a baby at the time I called, was found dead in a swimming pool on her mom's watch. Kinda made me lose faith in the system, don't ya know.

DL    Posted 07-13-2003 at 21:36:47       [Reply]  [Send Email]
In contrast to the common belief, lice is easy to get rid of. Lice need about at least two weeks to complete a reproduction cycle. Thus, weekly change of all the cloths and bedding sheets will get rid of the lice on cloths and bed. If the cloths not being worn for more than two weeks, the lice will die even they survive the washing process. If the cloths are worn only for one week or less, lice don't have enough time to reproduce. Also lice only live in cloths and beddings that are in direct contact with humans. They also live in hairs. Lice is different from fleas and they don't survive in carpet. Thus there is absolutely no need to bomb the whole house. Wash the hair with lice shampoo regularly. Change all the cloths (from inside out at the same time) at least once a week. After a months or two, the lice will be gone.

Finally...    Posted 07-14-2003 at 04:08:34       [Reply]  [No Email]
Words of wisdom in this thread...

You are absolutely correct about lice...Easy as heck to get rid of...

One of my Sisters is the Nurse for a school and sees them off and on...

Following your directions will eradicate any 'infestation' in short order...

People are more scared about lice than they should be...Just not that big a deal...


Les    Posted 07-13-2003 at 20:42:04       [Reply]  [No Email]
Kelly, you got to get the health people involved but don't do it anonymously. Talk to grandad first.
Some anonymous person called the DCYF on my daughter and said she was leaving her daughters (6 and 11) home alone. This person was just either trying to make trouble (most likely) or ignorant that my daughter's MIL lives with them and is pretty much there all the time. Her life was a wreck for several weeks before she finally got a letter telling her that they had determined that there was nothing to the charge. Meanwhile, the courageous anonymous tipster had no fear of his or her false allegations bringing any grief down on him. Think about that before you rush off to do anything like an anonymous tip.
Take courage and do it right. An honorable person should not have to hide behind anonymity in a situation like this and make someone else do your dirty work for you while you sit all innocent on the sideline. This is not a life or death situation.

Be Phlatt    Posted 07-13-2003 at 20:31:23       [Reply]  [No Email]
Kelly , maybe you could talk to a minister or church help group and possibly they could talk to the grandfather about the situation. Sometimes that approach isn't as blunt as if you approached the fellow yourself...glad to see someone at least trying to help the young girl, maybe a hard thing to deal with but stay in her corner and help her all you can , she's just 9 yrs. old. God bless you Kelly......Phlatt

KellyGa    Posted 07-13-2003 at 20:35:53       [Reply]  [No Email]
Thanks Be Phlatt, appreciate everybody helping out on this dilemma. Let ya know how things go in the coming days

Kat in NJ    Posted 07-13-2003 at 20:19:44       [Reply]  [Send Email]
Kelly, my significant other works for the child welfare department here in New Jersey where you can make an anonymous phone call to that agency and report a family, who is then investigated. Does the State of Georgia not have a similar service? Or your County? Or is there not a public health department in your town/county?

If not, someone is going to have to talk to the parents whether in person or sending an anonymous letter. It may not help -- John's office recently removed three children into foster care whose entirely family were taken to a local hospital, deloused, removed to a clean environment -- and then the mother returned to the home to get clothing! So she learned nothing from the experience.

Contact me offboard if you need suggestions....


Les    Posted 07-13-2003 at 20:43:55       [Reply]  [No Email]
Kat, I could not agree with you less. Please read my post above.

Ron,Ar    Posted 07-13-2003 at 20:00:57       [Reply]  [No Email]
I like Clods advice best, I started to have ya ask him first, he always has an answer, maybe not the one ya want but an answer anyhow.

KellyGa    Posted 07-13-2003 at 20:06:26       [Reply]  [No Email]
I know, Clod always has the cure, thats for sure, may not be tactful but it sure will work, lol! Right Clod? ;)

Maggie/TX    Posted 07-13-2003 at 19:35:39       [Reply]  [No Email]
Kelly, it seems to me you have two options, depending on how involved you want to be in helping this girl. And it sounds like she really needs help. Probably the best way to go is to contact the authorities, because it sounds like the girl is in denial of having a problem and the authorities will see to it she is cleaned up.

OR, you can go help them clean up their house and heads yourself. If you can get the grandpa to listen to reason and offer to help, then get him to make the girl use the medicine. The house has to be vacuumed completely, rugs, upholstry, curtains, whatever there is in the way of material that the kid could have touched. The bed linens have to be washed (preferable with some bleach) and then dried in a dryer on high heat until bone dry. On the people's hair, after using the lice medication, they need to dry their hair with a hair dyer until good and dry. Lice hate dry heat. Hair dryers and clothes dryers are pretty good defense against them. I think that the reason very young children get them and the older ones don't is the older kids start using blow dryers on their hair.

I feel sorry for this kid and you know she might just be emotionally warped for life is she is not able to ever have any friends. Sometimes you have to hurt some feelings to make something better for in the long run. I say try the direct approach before calling the authorities.

Ron,Ar    Posted 07-13-2003 at 19:20:19       [Reply]  [No Email]
It's a lot bigger problem than most folks think. I work for a public school ( bus mechanic) and hardly a week goes by that we don't get a call. Spray bus number such & such for lice. Goes on all year long. The local health dept don't seem to get involved much and the girls situation at home don't look good. You asked for advice so heres mine. DO SOMETHING!! don't ignore it, it isn't easy but this problem involves a child who is not completly at fault. Help her if you have to call local agency. Don't just run her off because of it, she is just a child. Just my opinion.

KellyGa    Posted 07-13-2003 at 19:25:18       [Reply]  [No Email]
Ron, thats my whole dilemma, she IS just a child, and she needs an adults help. Mama said the poor child is just dying for attention from anyone. I know she can't do it herself, so there has to be intervention. I will have to make sure something gets done. As long as she has them, I can't let her play with Shelby, because its not a light infestation, it seems full blown to me. I will let everyone know what I do, and how it turns out. Anybody else?

Lenore    Posted 07-13-2003 at 19:36:47       [Reply]  [No Email]
I hope you are successful, Kelly.
It is hard to deal with even when the whole family works at it.
Without family help; it is almost impossible to eliminate.
Beds, couches, comb, brushes and should be treated. All family menbers should be too.

I have a friend who owns a daycare.
A louse infestation occured. It seemed to start with a school age child with a younger sibling in daycare. After a very short time several children had them. My friend sent notes home with the parents telling them of the problem and
requesting they treat. She sent home print out instructions on how to do it. Well all the children were treated except the one; or if she was, all of the things were not cleaned as the directions said. This one child still has them. The other children will not play with her. The mom is not the neatest person and I am sure she does not do all the household cleaning necessary. The little girl suffers for it. It is sad and I am sure uncomfortable. It makes my head itch just thinking of it.

grouch    Posted 07-13-2003 at 19:15:21       [Reply]  [No Email]
Maybe you and your Mother could talk to the man again. Maybe he didn't understand how hard it is to get rid of them. Print out the info or get some pamplets from the health department and take them with you when you talk to him.

Sounds like the little girl is starved for affection. Do what you can! Let us know how it turns out.

KellyGa    Posted 07-13-2003 at 19:20:17       [Reply]  [No Email]
Thanks grouch, appreciate the input, I really don't want to as they say, turn them in. Her daddy is no good, her mama isnt any better, and she just doesnt have any options. I know they would take her away, and that may be a bad thing. I will let y'all know what I decide to do after everybody tells me what they think. There may be a way I'm not thinking about, that will work, and I know printing out the info and all that doesnt guarantee, but if he can read, nuf said, ya know?

Gene Davis(GA)    Posted 07-13-2003 at 18:39:11       [Reply]  [No Email]
This situation should be brought to the attention of the DFACS unit of your county as soon as possible, also the county health inspector should be notified as to the situation so they can delouse everything to prevent an epidemic and also reinfecting every thing and everyone around. Gene Davis (GA.)

KellyGa    Posted 07-13-2003 at 19:13:53       [Reply]  [No Email]
Thanks Gene, I just hope she doesnt end up in foster care or anything. He is a nice man, just a lot for him to handle I guess. What part of Georgia do you live in? If you know Georgia, you know Clayton County is not the place to be. I want to get out of here. It isn't anything like it was almost 20 years ago when I moved here. I know its the right thing to do to report it, I just wonder if they will do anything about it.

DL    Posted 07-13-2003 at 18:34:59       [Reply]  [Send Email]
May be you can buy a bottle of lice shampoo help the girl. Don't know about other people, but my heart ache seeing a little girl is outcasted like that.

KellyGa    Posted 07-13-2003 at 18:39:58       [Reply]  [No Email]
Well, DL thats been done, and she also has a case of treatments on her dresser at home according to several of the little girls. She tells them she doesn't have lice, that she doesn't have to use that on her dresser because she doesn't have lice. But even so, you have to treat the house, like the beds and stuff. Sorry, guess I should have included that too.

Clod    Posted 07-13-2003 at 19:29:29       [Reply]  [No Email]
Sneek over there when they are gone and toss a bug bomb through the window.

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