Posted 07-23-2003 at 03:09:50
[Reply] [No Email]
...what will kill those pesky little gnats that like to accumulate around the light over my head that I absolutely can not see to type without.
I know where they come from. They sneak in a dozen or so at a time when the front door flies open to admit or eject a kid, causing me to shout...'shut the dang DOOR!' a lot more often than should be necessary after eight o'clock or so.
They really set my teeth on edge. Some of them are just irritating in that they tend to get sucked into my windpipe while I'm distracted with my typing, which basically indicates that I am a mouth breather. Not always though, mostly just when I am avoiding breathing through my nose to keep it free from little winged critters. Anyway I spend the next two or three minutes choking and coughing and eventually swallowing the little *&^%!!s. More protein I guess.
Then there are the basically invisible ones that bite, causing me to shift and wriggle in my chair slapping involuntarily at myself like a mental patient.
But my all time favorite has to be the ones that look and sound like helicopters and you see them coming out of the corner of your eye but no matter which way you dodge, they stay right on course with your open eye, and when they get close enough you hear that sound that used to provoke the "incoming!" cry on the battle field.
Sometimes they just buzz you and sometimes they connect and actually leave a mark, depending on how fast they're going.
Last night I dragged out the vaccuum cleaner turned it on and used the hose as a tool to try and suck up as many as I could. Eventually I got tired of holding it and tied it to the light fixture above my head, running full blast, catching them as it may.
When Fred wandered through to go to the bathroom, he didn't even reamrk on the odd scene this must have presented. What does that mean?
Even now at six a.m. they are still up there, not as thick as they were last night, but bad enough that they are casting shadows on the keyboard.