Posted 07-29-2003 at 15:18:49
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Friday night Fred and I were getting ready to get into bed.
“Dang!” He exclaimed.
“There’s a plate over here on the floor on my side of the bed with crumbs all over it. I almost stepped on it”
He bent down to pick it up.
“Don’t touch it!” I screamed, and stomped across the bed and gazed down at the evidence.
“Hand me that t-shirt there.” I said, not taking my eyes off the plate.
Using the t shirt as a make shift glove I picked up the plate carefully and studied it.
“I want this sent in for analysis.” I said. “Prints, DNA the whole works, most of all I want to know what made those crumbs.”
“Whaaaat?” Fred blinked at me.
“You don’t get it. I’ve been on this job for a long time. The perpetrator has been evading me for years and this time I want this done up right. Someone has been leaving dishes here for ever and this time I mean to catch them and make them pay.”
“See…..Jake can’t stand blackberry muffins. Jill won’t eat anything other than chocolate chip cookies. Jenny wants salty not sweet.” I peered at him intently. “I have their MO’s down pat. All I have to do is determine this substance….” I flicked a crumb with my forefinger..” and I have my criminal.”
The lab was the kitchen table. By the next morning I had eliminated almost every junk food I could think of. I was losing my patience and was running out of options when I finally decided that the only test that would give me a true result was the taste test. I was hesitant. I had no idea how long the plate had been hidden under the bed. I was putting my very own health at risk but I had to do it. I had to know. So I took a deep breath, wet the tip of one finger and gathered a few crumbs and lifted them to my mouth.
“Just a hint of salt…..Jenny…..no….this is a greasy substance…almost like the crumbs you would get from left over fried meat……venison even.”
I never even heard the door slam behind my husband.
“This is meat crumbs!” I shouted. The kids all breathed a collective sigh of relief.
I stared at the plate in disbelief. None of my kids would eat leftover meat. I would, but I sure wouldn’t leave my plate on the floor…that only left one person.
“Where’s….. your …….father!”
“He just took off on the tractor, sounds like he’s in a hurry too.” Jake said peering out the window.
Did he think I wouldn’t find out? Did he think he had covered his tracks that well that I wouldn’t be able to zero in on him? It’s a sad and sorry day when you find out that one of your own men has gone bad. That the one who is supposed to work with you has joined the other guys and become your enemy. It’s tough to deal with. I will miss him.