Country Living
Country Living, Country Skills
Country People

KountryLife.com - A Country Living Resource and Community
Community
Message Board
Country Topics
Trading Post
Memory Lane
Country Skills
Country Cooking

Channels
Gardening
Livestock
The Kitchen
Machinery
Tools

Photographs
Photo Gallery
Vintage Photos
Special Collections

Fun
Country Humor
Country Sounds
Coloring Book
Interactive Story

Farm Tractors
Pictures
Tractor Parts
Tractor Manuals

Miscellaneous
Classic Trucks
Antique Tractors
Modern Tractors
Site Map
Links Page
Contact Us

  
Country Discussion Topics
To add your comments to this topic, click on one of the 'Reply' links below.

What is a man?
[Return to Topics]

Cindi    Posted 08-06-2003 at 20:01:08       [Reply]  [No Email]
Used to be, a man was the one who lifted all the heavy stuff, brought home the bacon, doled out the corporal punishment, didn't have a clue what was going on in the heart of a woman and most likely didn't care. He wanted his food on the table, his house clean, and his woman warm in bed beside him.

He was also expected to deal with all the dirty jobs that no one else in the family could handle.

Nowadays, he's expected to be sensitive and caring and even maternal to a degree, emotional enough to get the gist of women's needs and self esteem issues, and guess what, he's still expected to go out there and slay that bear that threatens his family.

Is it fair to ask a man to be a manly man but stil; possess tender qualities? Is it asking too much?


rhouston    Posted 08-07-2003 at 09:43:37       [Reply]  [No Email]
all people are born with a caring and sensitive side. Girls are raised with the knowledge that they and they alone carry the babies. They are bread so to speak to be caring emotional people (just look at their toys and what they teach). Even during the teenage years society accepts and even encourages emotion from its girls even if you are a male. They boys on the other hand are raised with the knowledge that they are the ones who fight the battles and can die in wars. This is also reflected in their toys. During the teenage years emotion is not something you are to express no matter what. You are free to express your emotions to girls but only in private (can't have any other boys see you because as others have said that is viewed as weakness by other males and even some females). It's also good ammunition for your peers to humiliate you with. So the problem comes down to men were not permitted by other males to show emotions, and therefore carefully guard what they feel. This is then passed on as expected behavior to their sons. Both genders are further reinforced in these roles by the media. Hey John Wayne never cried. Keep a stiff upper lip. suck it up. no chinks in the armor

Face it if a man can meet your emotional needs he prolly already has a boyfriend of his own.




RichZ    Posted 08-07-2003 at 07:38:51       [Reply]  [Send Email]
Asking too much for a man to have a tender side? Why is that too much?

Somehow, in the past few years, it seems to me, that society seems to be backsliding. Why is it OK, again, for a man to be an emotional statue? Men do have emotions, why is it unmanly to display them. That's nonsense!!

In the same way, should women act like they're helpless, especially mechanically? I'm the first to admit that my wife is more mechanical than me. When a piece of farm equipment breaks down on me, I try to fix it myself, but usually end up getting my wife to figure it out. And she usually does!

I think this "manly stuff" is generally used as an excuse for some man to act like jerks!! "Oh sorry honey, I forgot your birthday, but men don't care about things like that." That's non-sense!! It's not unmanly to be considerate and caring to others!!! Good lord, I hate when guys use excuses like that!!!

Don't accept that, Cindi, it's just a bunch of crap!!!


Ladyhawk    Posted 08-07-2003 at 06:45:03       [Reply]  [No Email]
Great questions...Yes it is fair...My Dad was just that. Worked a great job, did all the things the family could not etc....In my life I don't remember very often getting hugs,being nutured etc...by my dad. I do however remember very well the Belt..grrr. It wasn't until I was in my 30's that I started to really tell him what I thought. He is much better now and more sensitive to his approach with me and my kids. He was a good man at heart but no one every taught him how to be a DAD to a little girl being raised with 4 brothers. I do have to say at the age of 16 he was there for me. I married a hard working man that does all the things a man is expected to do and He is not perfect in the Sensitivity area but he sure tries. It is hard for him to keep up with my hormones...LOL but I get my feet rub (no kidding) every night.


Salmoneye    Posted 08-07-2003 at 04:36:43       [Reply]  [No Email]
Can I get a hug here...

*sniff*



Cindi    Posted 08-07-2003 at 04:45:08       [Reply]  [No Email]
I'm serious. I have to raise a boy into a man, he's fourteen. As recently as last year, seeing him cry was not a rare event. This year I hear hs father saying those things to him. Men don't cry, suck it up, walk it off, don't be a sissy.


Ladyhawk    Posted 08-07-2003 at 07:02:47       [Reply]  [No Email]
Cindi - I was in your shoes while raising my older son. He is a wonderful young man. While raising him I was single for 3 years. Divorce when he was 2. I taught him all the things a man should not do or say to a women. Taught him to really listen to what women say and to stay present and really hear it. I stuck with the Values and moral. He will cry... Crying is a good thing.If God did not intend Men to cry they would have been born without tear ducts....LOL. So I guess Brain washing in the early years really paid off. He is understands clealy about the importance of lifes responsiblities of a Productive Man and yet (according to his girlfriend) he understands and listens when a she is sad or upset...He is kind to others and repectful...So as far as crying goes...Let him don't try to change his feelings or it will interfere with on how he reacts to everything else in Life. Let me ask you this, Does your husband ever get mad....sometimes act like a little kid? My experience with men is the answer is Yes...So if this is true in your household when hubby get mad and starts behaving like a child I would remind him that Men should not behave that way it is is Wooosy!!!


Salmoneye    Posted 08-07-2003 at 05:01:39       [Reply]  [No Email]
A 'Man' is a creature of balance...

Yin/Yang

Light and dark

Good and Evil

Can't have God without the Devil...


Charles(Mo)    Posted 08-07-2003 at 03:43:35       [Reply]  [No Email]
Yeah. Huh? I was listening. What did you say?
Where's that channel changer?


hay    Posted 08-07-2003 at 03:26:21       [Reply]  [No Email]
i heard one time that men were only good for moving heavy objects and killing spiders. ugggghhhh, i HATE spiders.


Fawteen - Around here    Posted 08-07-2003 at 02:46:05       [Reply]  [No Email]
a walking wallet and 24 hour fixit man.

Oh, how I long for a long soak in the bubble bath and my Cafe' Vienna...


Les    Posted 08-07-2003 at 02:50:25       [Reply]  [No Email]
I'm glad you're in touch with your inner whatever this mawnin, Fawteen.


Fenwick Morton    Posted 08-06-2003 at 22:20:54       [Reply]  [No Email]
Yup, it's asking way too much.


LH    Posted 08-06-2003 at 21:20:50       [Reply]  [No Email]
Well I dont think its askin too much at all but most men tend to get teased by other men when they show those qualities, so lots are afraid to show their true feelings and emotions in front of all but a select few


Willy-N    Posted 08-06-2003 at 21:00:16       [Reply]  [No Email]
When I met my wife I could beat her arm wrestling real fast. Now that she has been mixing Cookie Doe for over 13 years by hand we are just about tied now. I have to work real hard at it to beat her and not so sure I could anymore unless she wanted me to? When I am having a hard time lifting something I will call her for help. It pays to have two strong hands on a place when you need to move 275+ pound things around by hand. Heck the girls carried me when I broke my foot glad they are in good shape!! Mark H.


Jimbob    Posted 08-06-2003 at 20:22:59       [Reply]  [No Email]
Women want more. Direct deposit, $5 Co-Pay.

Seriously, people are so different from one another they do not react the same.

Although I could be more 'tender', problem is tender is viewed as a weakness. It can be hard for some to turn-off the aggression/discipline like a switch, then turn it on again when leaving the house.

I believe both men & women have a play in the family. I leave the real tender stuff to my wife. I stand for security that provides comfort as well. I have sensitivity, but not as deep as my wife.


Sid    Posted 08-06-2003 at 20:08:08       [Reply]  [No Email]
Don't ask me I don't think it is fair to ask us to raise the toilet seat all the time and expect us to put it back down. But after all we do have big shoulders so go ahead and lay more burdens on us.


Sid    Posted 08-06-2003 at 20:07:25       [Reply]  [No Email]
Don't ask me I don't think it is fair to ask us to raise the tiolet seat all the time and expect us to put it back down. But after all we do have big shoulders so go ahead and lay more burdens on us.


Cindi    Posted 08-06-2003 at 20:37:53       [Reply]  [No Email]
Seriously. Think about it. The rule used to be and still is in the animal kingdom, to select the fittest male specimen for reproduction and protection. The most agressive male usually won the female/s. Deep in our hearts, no matter how much we scream for equality, women expect men to protect us and fight our battles for us and at the same time we demand that they turn on a dime and display the same depth of emotion that is supposed to the the female half of the equation. I don't think it's fair or right, But maybe that's just me. I'm not saying men should be slobs, just allowed to be men without being condemned for it. I'm dealing with this right now raising a son, which is what brought it to mind.


Jimbob    Posted 08-07-2003 at 05:36:04       [Reply]  [No Email]
The tough man is now measured by 'how tall he is when standing on his wallet'.


Jake from Jakes Corner, Y    Posted 08-06-2003 at 22:34:04       [Reply]  [No Email]
Well Cindi, I think you're right and it ain't fair, neither. I think it's been down hill since ol' John Wayne, Lee Marvin and the rest of them ol'boys like that, died.


Pitch    Posted 08-07-2003 at 02:07:10       [Reply]  [No Email]
You know that is a question (one of millions) about women that has always bothered me. A decent nice guy can't get a woman if his life depended on it all he ever hears is,"I like you as a friend" or "I don't love you THAT way". Yet a girl will go out with the skankiest Billy Joe Bad Axs she can find and then wonder why he runs around ,is never home and treats her like crap. Then Mr. wuss nice guy gets a phone call and has to listen to her cry on his shoulder about how terrible men are and how she was sure that Billy Joe loved her and how could he treat her this way. Just one of lifes mysteries.


Redneck    Posted 08-07-2003 at 17:32:48       [Reply]  [No Email]
No truer words have ever been spoken!


Jimbob    Posted 08-07-2003 at 05:37:40       [Reply]  [No Email]
Excellent point- I could never understand why women do that. Ones intelligence comes in a distant 3rd now a days.


C Kulig    Posted 08-07-2003 at 05:22:47       [Reply]  [No Email]
Been there, done that! Best friend had a girlfriend... I'm a farmer not a friggin' shrink!


Fawteen - AMEN!    Posted 08-07-2003 at 02:48:49       [Reply]  [No Email]
Preach it, Brother! That is the abso-damn-lute truth.


Bill in TN    Posted 08-07-2003 at 04:55:52       [Reply]  [No Email]
These truly are confusing times for the American male. If you would have told me 30 years ago that men would be wearing ear rings and women neck ties and tattoos, I would have called you a liar. Seems society today tries to teach our girls to be boys and or boys to be girls.
An after school fight is a big deal now, and the girls are fighting more than the boys. Seems to me, what took a million years to evolve has been undone in the last 30 to forty years. Men have always been hunters, and women gathers.

Men and women are not equal, but each has specific tasks that one or the other is more suited for, each complimenting the other.

I don't think this was a bad thing for either gender, but the genie's out of the bottle now, and there's no going back.

I'll say this: My wife has my greatest admiration. I come in dog tired, and I know she is too, but she just keeps going. She puts up with my BS daily and has for almost 20 years. She works 40, cooks, cleans, and seldom complains. I hate to think what my life would be like without her.

Are we the last generation that will see life as it was, and why are we swapping roles after all these millions of years?


Cindi    Posted 08-07-2003 at 05:06:13       [Reply]  [No Email]
I see a link between this role swapping and the burgeoning gay community as well. Maybe that's just me, though.


They are attracted....    Posted 08-07-2003 at 04:35:18       [Reply]  [No Email]
...to Billy Bad a$$ because he seems to present that tough image that women are instinctively drawn to, but society tells them that he has to be a hand holder and a tree hugger and a good mommy, and an avid listener, and the list goes on and on. I'm not saying men can't be nice and should be slobs, but I think we may be pushing the envelope a bit in what we expect them to be able to accomplish.


Bill in TN    Posted 08-07-2003 at 05:26:52       [Reply]  [No Email]
You may be right Cindi....someone's agenda for sure. I'm thinking Karl Marx might be right in some of his theories.....The social system evolves in a circle, from capitalism, to socialism, to communism, and back to capitalism. For example, the Russians are now capitalist, most of europe is socialist, and we just keep heading toward socialism. Peoples thought process have to change to accomplish this.

Makes me wonder what my grandson will have to endure.


Cindi    Posted 08-07-2003 at 05:57:42       [Reply]  [No Email]
The way things are going there may be no distinct different genders by the time he grows up. Maybe biologically, but socially, I'm not so sure. If you want to get really 'twilight zoney' about it, maybe we are being prepared for some future race of people that are basically one gender. Reproduction by artificial means, everything computerized..so on and so forth. The theories are endless, if you ever watch any sci-fi, you'll know what I mean.


Bill in TN    Posted 08-07-2003 at 06:37:16       [Reply]  [No Email]
Hummmm......Like earthworms....Maybe that's what the drugs are all about....to kill the male and female desire....Naw, the only thing that could really do that is a sharp razor, or a piano wire......This is getting a little far fetched now.....


Yeah well, once upon a ti    Posted 08-07-2003 at 07:20:33       [Reply]  [No Email]
...the concept of a telephone was farfetched. Far as I know, short of a cataclismic event, this world as we know it could go on forever. No telling what the future holds or how we may go about getting through it. Ten years ago did you ever think just once that you would be able to sit down and commmunicate with people all over the world in the the way we are doing right now?


Ya think?    Posted 08-07-2003 at 06:49:55       [Reply]  [No Email]
Salmoneye


[Return to Topics]



[Home] [Search]

Copyright © 1999-2013 KountryLife.com
All Rights Reserved
A Country Living Resource and Community