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Patria / PR    Posted 08-15-2003 at 17:29:17       [Reply]  [Send Email]
Long time no seeeeeeeeen...

I'm a poor old granny , and you know it!!
So many threads...and so little time..

The moving is done.
But, when you move into a new home almost always you have an empty house to bring all your stuff to, right?
For me? not this time.

As I told you before, I'm moving into my dad's home. All his furniture is there, also my mom's treasures.

He's getting married next week and moving into a new home with his new bride.
He's not taking anything.
So....I have a homey, crazy sort of home right now.
All my things are in the basement. An open basement.

I'm allowed to give away his furniture, kitchen ware and everything or anything in his home to my brothers and sister. Not an easy task I should say, but everybody is comfortable with what I'm doing, or so it seems.

These are crazy times for me.
My mom passed away last year. My dad is getting married next saturday.
I'm re-doing, or redecorating my MOM'S home.My home now.

Never thought it would be so dificult. [Les..please excuse my spelling..:-)]

So many memmories..
I'm the oldest of the four children.
Two daughters and two sons. My dad's comming wedding has me in a whirlwind of emotions.
He's happy. What can we do but bless him, right?

My parents were married for 49 years. They were so happy, so in love, so connected...

Shutt!! I know I'm not making much sense right now..

I haven't had much time to share lately with you guys, but I stole some time to come over and

Oh well, whatever.
My mom's sister, my dear dear aunt, is not happy with my dad's marriage.
My 'twin' brother just moved two days ago to Texas, and he's not happy with my dad's new life, haven't heard much from my only sister.

oh I don't know...I try to keep a nice atitude about all this...
I mom is gone. And I know my dad will never forget her. They were ONE of an know what I mean??
I never saw them fighting, not once.
If she asked for something? my dad would comply at once!! The same the other way around.
The were a beautiful couple. We all would look up to them wishing our marriage lives would be the same as theirs.

Then my mom , or some higher power decides her time among us is over...

It was really, too much to bear.
She was our guiding light, you know? the one to keep us together, the Matron.
Friends, neighbors, family and you name it...would always turn to her for guidance[?]. I am. Never thought about this before, before I moved into Her home.

Here I am, but I'm different. I'm me.
oh yes, I want to keep the family together like I always did. But right now? I'm all mixed up. Gotta find a way to make my family understand that my mom is gone, and that there's only me here, and my dad is still alive, and still breathing.

Now country friends, it's up to you to make some sense out of all this babbling..


Maggie/TX    Posted 08-16-2003 at 08:20:44       [Reply]  [Send Email]
Patria, looks like you already have gotten a lot of good advice here. I agree with every one of them. Plus, I can relate to what you are going through on several levels. It is a fact that your Mom will always be with you and I think you will now be the Guiding Light for your family, as that part of her is now passed to you. When you are given something to handle in life that is too hard, you will receive help of the spirit and you will become even stronger for going through it.

As for your Mom's "treasures," even if your brothers and sister don't seem to want them, do they have children? Maybe a child who thought "grandma" was the greatest? If so, maybe the child/children are too young now to have a say, but a few years from now will wish they had something they remember from childhood that was your Mom's. They will wish it so hard it makes them cry. Maybe your brothers and sister could be made to understand that taking some of the keepsakes of your Mom now to keep for their children for when they get older is in no way saying that they approve of your Dad remarrying. That it would be honoring your Mom. Sounds like you have the right attitude about loving your Dad enough to want him to be happy in life above anything else and THAT is the definition of real love. I sincerely hope your brothers and sister will overcome their feelings about the new woman who makes your Dad happy.

Jimbob    Posted 08-16-2003 at 04:42:57       [Reply]  [No Email]
Checkout the show by John Edwards 'Crossing Over'. It is on many station about 1PM eastern standard time. The show explains what physcial death is, yet your mom is not exactly gone forever.

I lost my mom two years ago. I know mom is just in a different area that I can not physically access. However, mom is still with me in thoughts everyday. After a while, it is not so bad as time heals.

I pretty sure we communicate in dreams, but that is a different story. (I about never forget a dream in my sleep).

Redneck    Posted 08-16-2003 at 02:13:00       [Reply]  [No Email]
Patria,just remember it ain't what happens,it's how we handle what happens that counts.You are doing good in my book.

Be Phlatt    Posted 08-15-2003 at 23:03:29       [Reply]  [No Email]
Hi Patria , everything will work out ,sounds like you have some wonderful memories and you'll get to work on some more with your Dad , take care and enjoy life to the fullest......Be Phlatt

DeadCarp    Posted 08-15-2003 at 20:18:20       [Reply]  [No Email]
Our parents are always there aren't they? Truth is - they are - they are - they are - then they aren't. That's the toughest thing to get a good bite on - chances are you'll be carrying caskets for everybody who's older than you. Everyone. All those wise and trusted people who led us and had an extra 20 or maybe an ear to bend or the right story at the right time - teachers, coaches, preachers, aunts & uncles, everybody.

While all this is happening, the power's shifting and you're turning into somebody's hero.
Or whatever. Cosby said it right, "We're all waiting for the same train folks, we'll all get a turn."

I'll tell ya what warmed my cold old heart once. Stopped at the local service station, followed a coupla kids inside and overheard their comments. One was describing somebody to the other and he kinda put it all in perspective for me: "He wears a backward baseball cap, drives a gas-hog with blacked-out windows, you know - one of those old guys." Now isn't it nice to know there's a time limit to even those things? :)

Ron/PA    Posted 08-15-2003 at 19:25:42       [Reply]  [No Email]
Patria, you're missed here, on top of all you have going, did you ever get the new restaurant open?
Hope you enjoy the new home, is it in town or are you back near the beach? Winter's just around the corner and I'll need your warm weather comments to raise the temps.
Don't worry about the brothers and sisters, they'll adjust to your dad's new marriage.
Take care

toolman    Posted 08-15-2003 at 19:56:22       [Reply]  [No Email]
Ron maybe we should go down there and help her move and scope out some beach space , for the winter.hang in there patria , things will all work out in the end, i lost my parents in the last couple of years and my wife lost hers in the same period, lots of adjustments and sometimes it,s hard , but we all get through it.good to see you again.

KellyGa    Posted 08-15-2003 at 18:13:07       [Reply]  [No Email]
Patria, I am emailing you

Cindi    Posted 08-15-2003 at 19:31:46       [Reply]  [No Email]
Perhaps you are the new 'cement' for the family Patria, you should let your happines for your father be contagious to your siblings and the rest of your family. My blessings to your father and his new bride, here's hoping that their relationship is as perfect as that he had with your mother.

All the material things will fall into place with time.

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