Posted 09-15-2003 at 07:27:00
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As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.
Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him,
"Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77. Please be careful!"
"He11," said Herman, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"
"I CAN HEAR JUST FINE!"
Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March day.
One remarked to the other, "Windy, isn't it?"
"No," the second man replied, "it's Thursday."
And the third man chimed in, "So am I. Let's have a beer."
SENIOR MOMENTS II
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades.
Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures.
Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times
a week to play cards. One day they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me.....I know we've been friends for a long time....but I just can't think
of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it.
Please tell me what your name is."
Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared
and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?
Two elderly women were out driving in a large car -
both could barely see over the dashboard.
As they were cruising along, they came to an
intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went on through.
The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself
"I must be losing it. I could have sworn
we just went through a red light".
After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection
and the light was red again. Again, they went right through.
The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had
red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting
nervous and decided to pay very close attention to the road and the
At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they went
on through. So, she turned to the other woman and said, "Mildred, did
you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could
killed us both!"
Mildred turned to her and said, "Oh, am I driving?"
Three sisters, ages 92, 94, and 96 live in a house together.
One night the 96 year old draws a bath.
She puts one foot in and pauses.
She yells down the stairs, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?"
The 94-year-old yells back, "I don't know. I'll come up and see."
She starts up the stairs and pauses. Then, she yells,
"Was I going up the stairs or down?"
The 92 year old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea, listening
to her sisters. She shakes her head and says, "I sure hope I never
get that forgetful."
She knocks on wood for good measure.
She then yells, "I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see
who's at the door."