Posted 10-04-2003 at 16:57:07
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Thanks to everyone for caring enough to answer my dilemma. I knew I could count on you all to help me.
Well, my Mama came over, and she had supposedly had an allergic reaction to the bird. Now, before y'all go thinking I am not sympathetic, let me tell you this. She has this little trick she does, and is very good at it. She fakes being sick when she wants to get out of something, I have personally seen her do this. I think she used it on me this time, because she couldn't keep up the act all the time, she would slip, and I suspect she did this in front of Daddy also. I called her on, and she said it was real, so I let her go on, but I told her it wasn't going to work, that I wasn't taking the bird back. My sister and I decided to give Shelby the bird for her birthday present, since her birthday is only a few weeks away. Shelby didn't want me to take the bird back, and we have quite an array of animals, including other birds, so its not a problem to have the bird.
I explained to her that everything is cool around here. She asked what Ian said about having the bird, and of course like I said, Ian doesn't care really, he loves animals too, so its okay with him, not that I had to ask. So, Shelby is hanging out with her new bird. She wanted a Conure anyway, so I got out cheaper. :)
Deadcarp, you are exactly right about everything you said, but so is everybody else, I grew up being controlled and kept under thumb. BUT...I am a stubborn cuss, and I broke free of that. You couldn't tame me I guess. I was a fighter. I am amazed I even had a dog growing up. They have not had an animal since then, 1981. He told Mama he didn't want anything that had to be fed or taken care of, period. SO she tells me she feels like she stirred up a pot of shut, and she won't ever express her desires again. I told her she shouldn't be like that, that to do that would kill her spirit.
My dad can't stand it that I have animals, he is a neat freak, so if I bring Tip over, I must vacuum and bury poop before I leave, every time. I told Ian he is really gonna hate it when we do move in a while, because I want a hobby farm atmosphere.
Anyway, I told Mama life is too short for all this drama, and that I was over it, and he should be too, and that I was not keeping the bird just to spite him.
Ian (my husband) is a man of few words, but he spoke up tonight when I told him about it all. He said it was ridiculous that everybody has to cater to my dad all the time, but he can go and step on everybody like bugs and its supposed to be okay. (This is a bit reworded, because his language was a bit stronger) He just hates it for my Mama because he sees the regret his dad has, and knows your time can always be up, and so you should make the most of it. My dad is very stuck in the past, and he doesn't like change. He doesn't like it if its not his idea, he can turn on you like a snake in a minute. I have been disowned by him for a year, earlier in my life, for bad behavior in his eyes, I was in a hospital dying, and he would not come in and see me. He is a hard man. I grew up with a lot of discipline and a belt on my hind side. I think he was hard on me, too hard, made me rebellious, but it also made me strong, so I tend to stick up for others a lot, and I open my mouth a lot more than I should. SOmetimes its a good thing, sometimes its not.
I don't blame my sister, she did back down from him, and agree with him and take his side about the bird. WHich is really stupid, because half the bird was from her, but he never gets mad at her, ever. She has done things as bad as me in her life, and he never disowned her. My older half sister has been disowned way back also. She let her stepdad give her away at her wedding, because he had raised her. So he was mad about that.
My dad is not happy. I know that. He really needs to be on Prozac or something. All three of his daughters are on some kind of anti-depressant, and I truly believe it was heriditary.
My sisters and I always felt sorry for Mama because once we left we said he would have no one to blame for that missing pen he was looking for, or clothes left in the dryer, or some other small thing that just doesn't matter, and it would be on her.
She told me today, they will never have any animals, and she knows that now. What a sad thing. Animals love you even if the whole world is against you. I couldn't go without my animals.
Anyway, I am babbling on and on. Thanks for the input, and most of y'all feel the way I do about it all, and I am keeping the bird, we all love it, so it stays. Whats one more to add to the family? :) I am just glad I am not the only one that can see him for the way he really is. Thanks y'all, really.