Posted 10-08-2003 at 08:13:58
[Reply] [No Email]
Fred sat down on the couch and then pinned me with a questioning stare.
"Why are there towels draped over the arms of the couch?"
"Because the arms are still damp from where I washed the chicken poop off of them." His arm came instantly up off the of the couch and just hovered there.
"How did chicken poop get on the arms of the couch?"
"Well I just imagine that when I chased the goat out of the kitchen it startled them, and they let loose."
"Why the heck was there a goat in the kitchen?"
"It was just Baby."
"I don't care if it was just Baby, what was she doing in the kitchen?"
"Eating out of the trash can I guess, I'm not sure I wasn't here. Besides the whole thing was your fault."
We just stared at each other for a minute.
"I think you need to start over." He said.
"Sometimes it is so hard explaining things to you!" Tsk. Sigh. "Okay. I had to go to the bank and to the store and I couldn't find my keys."
"Then I remembered you and Jake used my truck to pull the tractor out of the mud, and that you probably left them in it. So I locked the door and pushed it to and went out to check. I didn't want to close it all the way in case the keys weren't out there, then I wouldn't be able to get in the house."
"Right. Gothcha. Were they there?"
"Well, at first I didn't think so, but then I found them in the SEAT!"
"Okay. Good. Then what?"
"Well, I put my checkbook and my phone and other stuff into the truck and then I noticed that you had left the snatch chain and one of the good shovels in the back of the truck when you pulled the tractor out of the mud, and I didn't want to go to town and risk them getting stolen so I had to take them out. That chain is really heavy, you know that?"
"Yes it is."
"Well then I had rust and mud all over my hands so I had to go wash them off at the water spigot. Then I locked the gate and got in the truck and left."
"But you forgot to push the door all the way closed to lock it, so a little gust of wind came along and blew it open and that's how Baby and all the chickens got in the house." He said nodding like it all made perfect sense.
"RIGHT! Were you here?"
"NO I WASN'T HERE!! I have extremely powerful deductive reasoning." He winked at me.
"So you can see then how it was all your fault, right?" It was common sense for me.
"Right, and somehow, I will try to make it all up to you, no matter how long it takes."
"Good. Thank you. I appreciate that."