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To add your comments to this topic, click on one of the 'Reply' links below. sucks to be you
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Cindi    Posted 11-20-2003 at 09:01:08       [Reply]  [No Email]
Jake got suspended. First time this year. He's been doing real good, made the A/B honor roll for the first time ever. But now he's bored. Nothin' to do, no place to go, because even though he's gotten through the whole year so far without a fight, we still frown on the kids getting kicked out of school and he got grounded anyway.

This morning he started.

"I wanna go to...the store/town/hunting/anywhere but here."

"Oh. Well, shoulda thought of that before you went and got yourself suspended."

"But I can't STAND being stuck here."

"Yup, sucks to be you, huh."

Silence, then....

"Well, at least I can eat."

"Where you goin'?"

He got up off the couch and headed for the door.
No answer. Out the door he went. He came back carrying a 10 oz sirloin steak from the freezer in the shed.

"Whatcha gonna do with that?'

"Eat it."

"Where's mine, what about me?"

"There's plenty more in the freezer."

He knows I can barely walk after that physical and was trying to give me a taste of my own medicine.

" know I'm crippled, I can't go all the way out to the shed." Whimper.

"Yup, sucks to be you don't it." Big grin.

Oh, no way.

"You know I will get even with you for this." I warned.

"Yeah, yeah whatever...... (little niggle of doubt and then)...what do you mean?"

"Well, just that I'm only going to be crippled for a few days, you however can be grounded indefinitely. I.....have the power." I flexed and winked for emphasis.

There must have been something in my eye that convinced him I meant business.


"Sirloin or T-Bone?"

"T-Bone please, darlin'. Oh and uh...medium well."

Rank is a wonderful thing. Steak for lunch ain't so bad either. (grin)

Willy-N    Posted 11-20-2003 at 10:31:21       [Reply]  [No Email]
Steak after being supended?? Boy must be nice! When I was A KID that would have been the last thing I would have got. Cindy you need to get a handle on that boy, who is the Boss anyway? It will only get harder to deal with over time belive me. I would have made him do some work for it and no way would he be laying on the couch! Mark H.

Mike D.    Posted 11-20-2003 at 11:03:20       [Reply]  [No Email]
Cindi's prose aside, Mark I got to side with you on this. oh, and Cindi- I have raised a 14 year old boy. Mike D.

Cindi    Posted 11-20-2003 at 10:57:21       [Reply]  [No Email]
Mark, Jake is a handful, no two ways about it. He is learning though. He's made a lot of progress this year and not only am I, but he is encouraged by his progress. I feel for kids nowadays. Most of the things they are taught on a daily basis are useless in the real world. Jake is one of those that has to learn everything the hard way.

I talked to his counselor yesterday and she informed me that it was common knowledge in his classroom that he tried to avoid the conflict, but by law they are bound to suspend for fighting and went one step further saying that he would be allowed to make up his work, which is usually not allowed for suspensions so he should be able to maitain his A/B average. We have some real sucky school authorities here and then we have some that have kids IN the school and know what the deal is. As a result, they may be bound by law but they still practice common sense.

ret    Posted 11-20-2003 at 15:34:27       [Reply]  [No Email]
So Jake gets in another fight and gets suspended again. And, say it is not his fault again. Go with you on that. I would be down at that school raising all kinds of hell. Be at the school board too. After reading your posts for awhile, surprised you didn't stick up for his rights this time.

Cindi    Posted 11-21-2003 at 03:17:10       [Reply]  [No Email]
ret, they don't have any rights. The whole place is run by 'potential lawsuits'. If there is the slightest possibility that they can be sued over something, they take the quick and easy route out every time. I don't know.... I have gotten to the point that I know that fighting it is useless and I am grateful that I see some maturity beginning on Jake's part and that I only have one boy.

sdg    Posted 11-21-2003 at 05:25:56       [Reply]  [No Email]
Cindi you are lucky, I have 3 boys and 1 girl. But so far other than a few works outta my youngest boy to other kid, that's all the problem I have had. Strangly, it's my 9 years old daughter that kids should be scared of. lol. She's a tomboy and I remeber when she was in kindergarden, we got called to school. Some boy in my son's 2nd ggrade class was giving my son crap and she knocked the boy right on his a$^. She's the most lovable kid and gets along well with other kids, just don't mess with her family or her animals. Things will pass with your son, which I'm sure you know. Boys will be Boys, after all, aren't our husbands kinda macho at times. GRUNT GRUNT! :)

Willy-N    Posted 11-20-2003 at 11:13:18       [Reply]  [No Email]
Cindy I feel for you and not sure what you can do. I have been there before, tough love is the only thing that works in my mind time. Mark H.

EX. TEACHER,    Posted 11-20-2003 at 10:01:05       [Reply]  [No Email]
Does your son's suspension rank so low as to be decided by the toss of a steak? Perhaps that is the problem with today's schools, parents don't take any of their children's violations to heart.

Clipper    Posted 11-20-2003 at 10:36:47       [Reply]  [No Email]
The REAL problem with the schools today is overpaid,incompetent TEACHERS who suck up tax dollars for their lousy 182 days of so-called work....

Not a teacher    Posted 11-20-2003 at 11:57:32       [Reply]  [No Email]
but I can't believe you said that.

First off, yes there are lousy teachers just as there lousy workers in every line of work.

But the vast majority are competent and hard working, trying to make an impression on a bunch of snot-nosed, ill-mannered, spoiled kids. They get little or no respect from kids, parents, or school administrators. Many work far longer hours than what they get paid for.

If it is such an easy job, more folks would breaking in the doors to get all those easy bucks.

Tom A

Ron,Ar    Posted 11-20-2003 at 21:27:14       [Reply]  [No Email]
I agree with Clipper on this one, I've worked at a public school for 11 yrs now. Teachers are not the dedicated group they once were. Like anything else there are good ones and bad ones, but...
Most of the newer ones are yuppies who are in it for the money and early retirement. This bunch starts at 8AM, hour for lunch, leave at 3 pm. thats 6 hrs. Beginning salary at entry level, year 1, 23000 bucks. 10 sick days, 2 personal days. work 175 actual days on contract. 21 bucks an hr is not bad pay for entry level anything. They don't do windows, they don't make a study plan,(cirriculum core planner does all that), they don't do discipline, they don't do playground or cafeteria duty, teachers aides do all that. Can't speak for everyone else but thats the way it is here. They also hardly ever vote right wing conservative GOP. Ron, who can see classrooms from 3 sides of his house.

Clipper    Posted 11-20-2003 at 12:05:45       [Reply]  [No Email]
Well that's MY story and I'm sticking to it...been both a teacher AND a Board of Education member so I feel purty comfortable with my opinion on that issue. Have a good 1....

whoa-    Posted 11-20-2003 at 10:20:28       [Reply]  [No Email]

Cindi    Posted 11-20-2003 at 10:50:02       [Reply]  [No Email]
As far as the steak goes, the kids eat what they want when they want within reason. They are not what you call thrilled about living ten minutes from town sometimes, and one obvious advantage is eating better. I would a lot rather have him eat a home grown steak than a pita pocket. Yeah?

Now, as to being suspended. The kids always get suspended for fighting. Period. I have learned to live with this. Anybody with any experience with fourteen year old boys knows that to them fighting is as natural a part of growing up as breathing. If you have a boy that age who is not in trouble for fighting, and is in public school, then chances are he's being picked on and just hiding from it and hiding it from you.

We tried forcing Jake to follow the school guidelines on fighting. If another kid hits you or attacks you, you tell. Nine out of ten times nothing is done, because it wasn't witnessed by an authority figure, and then the 'teller' just gets more grief heaped on them for being a 'wuss'.
There is no choice for a boy but to defend himself and deal with being suspended. If your boys are young, just wait. if you don't have any, then I can never explain this to you well enough.

Yeah I may be a little jaded on school authority but until they figure out a way to do something effective about the situation then I will continue to be jaded. If telling worked, that's what we would insist on. But it doesn't. It just makes it worse. If they fight back they get suspended.

I think it's enough to restrict him. Any more than that and I would be teaching him to just lay down and take it, and that ain't gonna happen.

RichZ    Posted 11-20-2003 at 12:11:13       [Reply]  [Send Email]
Cindi, when I was a kid my father had a rule for me: "Never start a fight, and never walk away from one." I lived by that rule. Of course, in those days no kid ever carried weapons. And it was a little harder to get suspended. I got in a lot of fights, and did my time in detention and the principal's office, but I never got suspended. But I think things are different now.

If a kid is picked on, and doesn't fight back it will only get worse. School officials never seem to do anything about the bullies. It's easier to punish the good kids. It seems to me that's the position Jake is in. It's the same position I used to be in. Sounds like Jake is a good kid who won't take any crap. I've been there, done that, and I didn't exactly become an ax murderer. I'm sure Jake will be fine. I think you're handling it just right. :^)

Jet9N    Posted 11-20-2003 at 16:34:53       [Reply]  [No Email]
Just like the NFL, the guy that throws the second
punch gets the flag.


Clipper    Posted 11-20-2003 at 10:58:17       [Reply]  [No Email]
Well put Cindi...course the ex-teacher with little or no facts on the matter will prolly whine anyway....geez it's tough!!! LOL

Cindi    Posted 11-20-2003 at 14:19:37       [Reply]  [No Email]
Well I feel for the school folks too, believe it or not. I mean, if they respond to a complaint and don't have five kinds of proof they can be sured. If they don't respond to a fight and another one happens and someone gets really hurt, they can get sued. I guess once again we can lay it at the feet of the lawyers and frivilous lawsuits. Kids used to sort out their own differences but now the minute a ruckus starts the adults are in there breaking it up. It's a different world now. That's just the way it is and it took a lot of years of agonizing before I got to the point that I just started dealing with the suspensions. The school officials know the system sucks too.

deadcarp    Posted 11-20-2003 at 16:09:12       [Reply]  [No Email]
when i went to school, we rarely had any fights. oh somebody or other usually sported a loose tooth or split lip, but that was just rough playing. and they had to stitch harvey's face back on when he picked the wrong day to show off and threatened to chase ne home so i swung my lard-can lunchbox fulla gravel and laid it open some. but one day he went too far and shot at a kid. (the rule was - no guns on the schoolgrounds so we stashed them in hollow trees til after school) welsir, his dad roy had the whole weekend to think it over and was more than upset with the whole mess by monday, so right in mid-period he
shut down his sawmill long enough to take a ride down there. he walked right in, looking like it wouldn't take much to encourage him to tear the whole place apart. and he came equipped. he took out a hammer and big nail, found a good spot on the wall up front and gave ot a couple healthy licks. then he picked up this piece of heavy harness (part of a haymes strap) the lower half of which had been methodically sliced into strips about an inch wide, and made a brief announcement to the teacher. "If any of my boys ever gets in another fight, you by dam use this on them! If you don't and i find out about it, i'll use it on you!" then he hung it by the buckle and promptly went back to his work. nope, we didn't have many fights in that school - nosir. sometimes you have to put your foot down :)

Cindi    Posted 11-21-2003 at 01:43:24       [Reply]  [No Email]
DC the reason they have so many here is because they never get to finish them. If one kid could win or lose it would be settled, but they are always pried apart before they get to that point.

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